The busy slacker

Here is some good mail I got from my friend Lisa (a 2-post blogger at this point), I took pictures of her daughter Kylee last week and she sent me these cute items to say thank you. She works at Stamp Attic (one of my favorite stores, except for its walk-in closet size) so she has access to all the latest goodies. How delightful. Thanks Lisa!

Today I talked to Amie on the phone for a ridiculously long time. She's so funny, I just love that about her. I was supposed to be digging through the piles in my scrapbook room, cleaning and organizing and whatnot in preparation for the blog party, but I really just puttered around. I folded laundry, I prepped some good mail, I tidied the kitchen, but I didn't do anything substantial to get ready for the party. Lame. I keep wondering if I do this to myself because I don't feel the pressure until the day of an event, so then I go crazy and end up being too tired to enjoy myself that night (sabotage perhaps) or if I'm just an unfocused slacker who thinks she's busy. Hmmm.

I did end up running errands with the kids today and crossed a few things off my list of party prep. I ran into Book club Amy and her daughter Kaitlin at Target (not the first time we've run into each other there), so that was enjoyable. Eagle Mountain Amie mentioned that it would be nice if we have the party in the front yard and I think that's a good suggestion. Is it wrong that I'm wishing we had a big cabana with tiny party lights? That's not going to happen, so think lawn chairs, birds chirping, breeze, and lush, green grass. It should be fun. If you didn't get an email invitation it's because I didn't have your email address, it's not too late to get in on the action so just let me know.

Now for some random thoughts...

• I love Sonic's happy hours 2-5 for half price fountain drinks and slushies. If I had known about this back in my diet Coke days I would have been there everyday, but for now slushies for me and the kids will have to do.
• The old man from across the street (which puts him in a different ward from us) came over to collect donations for the Leukemia Foundation. It was so nice to meet him. Can you believe we don't know any of the people who live across the street from us? Granted, it's a busy street, they're not in our ward, and our houses are all set back from the road a bit, but it's kind of silly that after 2 and half years this is the first time I met him. He was very nice and very old. I had one of those moments of stupidity when my body does something that my mind doesn't authorize. He went to hand me a Leukemia info card, but I thought he was going to shake my hand, so I put my hand out then realized what he was doing, but then he shook my hand anyway. I felt like an idiot. Kind of like at my high school graduation when the principle went to move my tassle over and I thought he was going in for a hug so I hugged him! Idiot.
• I have a bit of a sore throat and am not too keen on that. I'm also experiencing what I can only refer to as preblistering on my feet. I fear full pain and am not sure if it's my new walking shoes, my busted-walking form, my girth while walking or all of three. I just don't want pain. Speaking of pain, I've been migraine free for awhile now (knock on wood).
• My Enrichment Leader called to see if I took care of the poster for Enrichment that I was supposed to have done last Sunday (which of course I did), she wasn't there Sunday so she didn't know. She thanked me for doing that, especially in light of the plethora of callings I'm juggling right now. She said she was at a meeting recently and they were joking and saying that the Bishopric must get together to discuss callings and then say "give it to Jill." That's kind of funny, but also weird when people tell you they were talking about you.
• If you enjoy Cookie Crisp cereal they're running a promotion for a free itunes song with each box--not too shabby.
• Also, I finally downloaded some free widgets from Yahoo and am so pleased. I now have a calendar on my desktop at all times (which should help with me never knowing what day it is) and the local weather forecast.
  

**Any random comments?**

Just plain cute

I just have to post these pictures of Whitney from Sunday. I had my eye on this dress from Target since way back when the Easter dresses were first in stock, but it was $23 and though that's not super expensive, I just wouldn't pay that unless I needed it for a special occasion or something. So imagine my delight when a couple weeks after Easter it was marked down to $11.97?! I just love this dress on her. I'm usually so practical about clothes and don't buy anything fancy or girlie looking, but something about this dress just hurts my heart.


I had Whitney pose for these pictures after church on Sunday because I fear she'll outgrow the dress too fast and I'll miss my chance to document it. She's not so good about posing for pictures so this is the best I could do.

I think it's cute that she knows she knows I love her in this dress. She acts kind of happy but embarrassed about the fuss I was making over her. Too funny.

**Is it just me or is this dress painfully cute? Would you have paid $23 for it or taken the chance of missing it?**

Tuesday right?

This is the ridiculously simple book I had to read for our ward book club. It only took me a couple of hours to read so I'm cutting it some slack for that reason, but the writing was predictable and formulaic and the story itself seems like old news. This book was recommended by a lady in my ward who loves it so much she gives copies of it to everyone she knows! I'm hoping she's going to actually show up to our discussion this month (next Tuesday) and lead it, because I don't have much to say (unless it's critical of course). Here is a sample of the writing, this is exactly the kind of writing I can't stand. I actually found myself rolling my eyes at the book and saying, "oh brother" out loud.

"I noticed that Jason's eyes seemed moist, and Miss Hastings' seasonal allergies seemed to act up at that very moment. I will admit to feeling a lump in my own throat. Jason took a deep breath and launched into his report." page 115

I don't even think it's worth explaining what the ultimate gift actually is. I'll just say that I'm glad it was a super fast read and that I'm done a week in advance. I can't imagine what kind of a discussion we're going to have about this, it's all so straight forward.

On a happier note, I just got this cute package of stuff from Jessie. I love the red scrapbook, the personalized notepad, the oh so tiny card, the pretty ribbon, and I love the decorated chip chatter letter "j" no wonder I call her a creative genius. I have tons of those letters but have never decorated one cute like that. Thanks Jessie!

Now for some random thoughts...

• I'm converted to the early to bed, early to rise program and can't believe it's only 3:16pm because I feel like I've been up for days and am getting lots done.
• Whitney had her last post-op eye appointment today (yes, I thought last month's was the last one, but I was wrong) and her eyes and vision are great so there's no need for a patch, glasses or more surgery. Hooray! I'm also very happy that our 4 post-op visits were included in the price of the surgery so no co-pays!
• The kids and I stopped to buy some flowers today, just to fill in the beds a bit, and I ended up totally miscalculating and being overloaded. It was only $18 for about 18 flowers. The weather isn't hot today so I thought I'd weed and then plant those and be done in like an hour---try 3 hours! Good grief, apparently my estimation skills don't work at all. I kept thinking I was almost done planting, then I'd look over and see another pony pack with a couple more flowers in it. It looks good now that I'm done, but I didn't think I was committing my entire afternoon to the yard.
• Michelle is not in a good way. Now that Marc and Eva are sick I fear for her health both physically and mentally. I have called her briefly 3 different times today and Eva was crying each of those times, and Michelle sounded zombie-like. Not good. It makes me very grateful for our good health, but also makes me feel helpless and sad for them.

**Is it just me or does a 3-day weekend send you into a time-warp tizzie too? I keep forgetting what day it is and feel panicked that I'm forgetting things.**

Happy Birthday Julie!

Finally finished!

I don't know why it took me so long to read this book. It was only 371 pages long and thoroughly enjoyable, so there's really no good reason for dragging it out for several weeks. I hate it when I do that. I feel like I've been carrying this book around with me everywhere just in case I get a few minutes to read, but I guess all those little moments didn't add up to much quality time.

Anyway, this is a book I'd never heard of before but found at DI and thought it looked interesting. The cover is kind of fruity and doesn't jive well with the story at all (especially the time period) so don't be fooled into thinking it's some Stephen King kind of thing.


It's about identical twin sisters who have such a close relationship while they're growing up that they are practically one person. But as they get older the dominant sister Florence decides she doesn't want to be a twin anymore. She becomes a famous painter and marries a famous writer and no one knows she has a twin (or any family at all). The story is told from the other twin's perspective (Doris). She is very hurt by her sister's behavior and doesn't understand it at all.

The really interesting idea this book brought out to me was the idea of our identity. Can you imagine being an identical twin? Having someone look exactly like you? So much so that you don't know where you start and they end? You're not even sure which memories are yours and who said or did what? Talk about frustrating. Previously I'd always thought it would be cool to have a twin sister because it would be like having a built in best friend, but now I'm not so sure. (Not that that's the point of the book at all, just a thought.)

Here's a quote I liked...

"We are always given more than we need, more than we think we have. There are always more than one of the important things. There is more than one view of the world. There's the day view and the night view, two distinct things. Their feel is different, the way things look is different, in light or without light. We move differently through a room with light, without light, we think different thoughts, we are happy in a dark room when in the light room we are miserable.
There is more than one of each of us, unaccountable versions, the youngest one, the young one, the middle-aged one, the old one, some of them happy, some of them not, some wise, some bent on vengeance. People say, No one ever changes, but what do they mean? Everyone alive changes, that's the pity of it, sometimes from one minute to the next. We are like prisms with something solid in the center. That center never changes, but who knows what it is? It's always there. It makes us say, This has been no life, I'm tired of it. It makes us say, It's a beautiful world, I'm not ready to lie down and die yet."
page 265-266

I remember when my family moved to Michigan just before I started 8th grade (an extremely hard move for me) I didn't have any friends that summer because I hadn't started school yet. I spent a lot of my time hating my parents, wishing I was back in California, missing my best friend Jeana, writing letters, and daydreaming about a new best friend when I started school. I wanted her to have a last name that started with an "M" so that her locker would be by mine, I wanted her to love the things I loved, and wanted her to want to spend all her time with me (I must have had stalker tendencies). This didn't happen, and I'm glad it didn't. I was able to figure out who I was, who I wanted to be, and I still made great friends. I know now that my best friends don't have to be just like me (though certain similarities are nice), and I hold dear the parts of me that I feel are uniquely mine (even if I drive myself crazy sometimes).

**What do you think about having your own identity? Is that easy or hard for you?**

Internet Adoration

I've been working on my primary lesson for tomorrow, and am just feeling so thankful for the Internet. You see, I teach the 10-11 year olds and they're pretty smart kids, so I have to work hard to make sure my lessons are well prepared and not condescending at all--that means trying to make it fun and memorable while trying to feel the Spirit and teach what needs to be taught. (I never understand the people I see who are reading their manual during Sacrament Meeting, hopefully that's just a review and not the first time they're looking at the lesson.)


Anyway, the lesson tomorrow is on Moses freeing the Israelites and the 10 plagues he put on Egypt. I've been thinking about how I could present this so the kids could really visualize how awful it would have been, and finally came up with the idea of printing pictures from the internet. It was kind of gruesome to find the photos, but I think I have successfully created some memorable visuals for this lesson. So pretty much I'm feeling thankful for my computer, high speed internet, and my printer that made all of this possible.


It's also interesting to note that the Pharaoh was so hard hearted that he didn't cave in completely until the 10th plague which was death of all the first born children in Egypt (which included his son). That's pretty wicked considering they suffered from bloody rivers, frogs, lice, flies, dead cattle, boils (ouch), hail and fire, locusts, 3 days of darkness, and then finally death of the firstborns. As I was reading the scriptures for this lesson I kept marveling at how wicked the Pharaoh must have been and how past feeling he was to not be affected by all of these terrifying things. It's making me consider how sensitive I am and how quick I am to obey.


Even the Israelites questioned Moses after they'd been spared from all the plagues, because they complained and were full of fear when they saw the Egyptian army coming after them. I can definitely understand being scared, but when I read this story again it just seemed so ungrateful and so lacking in faith to think the Lord would have protected them from so much, sent Moses to free them, and then have them think He would let them be caught by the army. I guess no one foresaw the whole parting of the Red Sea happening, but still. So again I have to consider my level of faith and trust in the Lord's ability to rescue me even if things looks grim and impossible. (There were over 600,000 Israelites that had to caravan together, FYI.)

There's nothing quite like preparing a lesson for some primary kids to lube my squeaky mind and get the gears going again. I love it.

**Thoughts??**

P.S. Check out Robyn's blog today and Laurie's blog from yesterday--they need our help.

Little Miss Whitney

I know I've written little bits here and there about Whitney, but since she and I have been hanging out tonight while Randy and Landon are on the Father/Son campout, I just feel the need to document some of my thoughts about her.

Tonight she wanted to go get Shave Ice and go to the park. She sweetened this proposition by informing me that I could sit on a bench and read my book (deal!). She's now singing in the tub as she tries to soak off the layers of filth she accumulated today. Here are some thoughts off the top of my head...

• She's a character.
• She's full of energy.
• She's smart.
• She bounces or jumps to wherever she needs to go.
• She always has food on her face (and usually in her hair).
• She snores loudly (those pesky tonsils).
• She's a great artist (I truly believe this).
• She says what she feels.
• She's got perfect skin--blemish free and smooth, plus she tans beautifully too.
• She's got thighs like a gymnast (must be all that hopping).
• She loves ranch dressing.
• She's a treat monger to the extreme.
• She leaves a trail wherever she goes (clothes, books, papers, crayons, etc.).
• She loves to play in the water.
• She is extremely ticklish and always says, "stop or I'm gonna pee!"
• She knows the words to most of the music we listen to at home.
• She has a unique way of describing things. For example, we were reading a book that had pizza in it and she was trying to describe olives but couldn't remember the word so she said, "you know, those black things what dad likes." (I knew immediately what she was talking about.)
• She seems to be incapable of putting her clothes away even if I just reminded her to do it.

These are just the first things that come to mind when I think of Whitney. She makes me crazy with her messes, but mostly I enjoy her because she's got a zest for life that I find inspiring. I wish I was more like her, and have no idea where her free spirit or perfect skin come from.

**Do you have someone you're close to that you wish you were more like?**

The airing of grievances

I'm not sure what frame of mind I'm in today, but it's not looking good. I stayed up till 2:00am so that may have something to do with it. Also, we're not going to Michelle's house today because Max is sick. I thought that was fine because I have plenty of things I need to do at home, but I'm also thinking that the routine of going there and the break from normal life is something I need. So, in the spirit of getting things off my chest and trying to make myself feel better, I am listing some of my grievances.

• I seem to be getting fatter every day
• Spiders scurrying out when least expected
• The heat outside
• People who drive crazy--get off your damn phone!
• Dental visits
• Evolving messes in my scrapbook room and house
• Weeds
• Feeling tired
• Psycho parking lot drivers
• Family members never commenting on my blog
• Feeling disappointed in myself for leaving things to the last minute
• Having too many "wishes" in my head
• The sounds from the kids "Kirby" dvd. So annoying
• Feeling overwhelmed by my callings
• Obnoxious behavior in my kids
  

I hope this wassn't too negative. As I was writing it felt good to get it out, but it also felt like an anti-gratitude list. Hopefully this won't happen too often.

**What are your grievances?**

P.S. Check out Jessie's post about "Wishes"

Big Day

Yesterday evening, as we were scrambling to get ready for Whitney's preschool graduation, the mailman came to deliver a box from Kristi. This was most unexpected, especially since the mail had already arrived hours earlier. Inside the box were these very cute, personalized towels Kristi made for us, along with a prethank you (apparently Tasha has started a trend) for pictures I'm going to take of her family next week when they're in town. Too funny.

Thanks Kristi for the thoughtful gift and the prethank you.


Last night was Whitney's preschool graduation. The program involved all four classes from the preschool (a lot of kids) and was very cute and brief (45 minutes). Whitney was surprisingly shy and reserved during the performance, and yawned multiple times. I can't really blame her since I have never been keen on performing in front of people either. She did a good job, and was happiest when it was over and she got to indulge in the table full of treats. Go figure.

{A nice big yawn in the middle of the program.}

It was a fun night, which we capped off by dinner at McDonald's (Whitney's choice) and a late night watching American Idol (the kids were up until 11:00). It was a good day (except for the dentist part).

**How do you do with performing and are your kids like you?**

Anti-dentite

I haven't been to the dentist for several years (gasp), and have been trying to decide on a new dentist. I got this ad for a dentist in Orem and decided to go there because I liked the ad and because itis close to Michelle's house, which means my kids will have a place to go when I have appointments. (Smart thinking eh?) So today was the day of my appointment, and Michelle's kids are sick (so much for my plan). Fortunately my mom was willing to come watch the kids for me, so they ended up getting to have a fun afternoon with her. My afternoon was less fun.

I was actually nervous before my appointment and had to keep telling myself that being scared was silly. I found the office easily and was early to arrive. The receptionists were very nice, and the office didn't smell dentistish at all, and it was decorated with nice, home decor. The dental assistant (a cute blonde girl named Hannah) took me back for x-ray (gag) and to prep for the dentist. She was very friendly and helpful so I felt comfortable with her. When she moved me into the exam room and sat me down in the dental chair she gave me some glasses to put on (what?). This was new to me. She said they were protective eye wear. I felt like an idiot wearing them--like an unfashionable basketball player (at least they have a good reason for wearing them). Then she tilted the chair back so far that I was afraid I was going to slide off onto my head (I didn't). She left to get the dentist and I was lying there thinking how ridiculous I must look and how if I had a picture of myself like that I'd die of embarassment.


The dentist came in and started whispering to Hannah as they looked at my x-rays (not good). I heard the words "deep cavity" and "possible crown" and felt flushed with stress all the sudden. The dentist then poked and prodded all my teeth and scraped them, then Hannah finished up with the cleaning. It's nice to have clean teeth, but man I hate the feel of that gritty toothpaste, the smell of the gloves they wear, and especially having them floss my teeth. I thought I was going to scream, but she finished just in time.

So pretty much I'm a mess. I have several small cavities, and one "deep" cavity. The deep one is in one of my wisdom teeth, so I have the option of them possibly filling it but then finding nerve damage and needing to do a root canal and crown, or just pulling the tooth (along with the one below it as well). Yikes. They gave me a print out of all the costs and are letting me decide what to do. I don't know what to do. It seems like I should just get my wisdom teeth out, and maybe get all 4 instead of just the 2 because they said the older you get the more problems you're likely to have with them. $%$#@


Now my teeth are sore from being poked, and I feel like crying because I don't want to do any of it. Times like these I hate being an adult. Swing low...perhaps I should be consoled by the dental gift bag they gave me, but somehow I'm not.

**Any advice for me? Do you have to wear
protective eye wear at your dentist too?**

Busy day

{click to enlarge}

This has been a busy, but good day. I think I like this whole getting-up-early and exercising thing. I actually feel like I got a lot done, and I still feel good (except for a minor headache) and it's evening now (usually I'm grumpy and tired). I actually got 3 items of good mail sent, so I feel good about that. I have several others in the works, but at least those 3 finally made it out of the house.

So I had my first official camp meeting today with the camp director and the YW Presidency. Can I just say I'm in over my head? It's nice that they have everything planned out already, but it's weird for me to be coming in at this point because I don't know the girls, don't know anything about camping, and don't even really know the women in the presidency. I have been assigned all kinds of responsibilities and have to take charge on the first and last days because the camp director won't be there those days. She kept saying, "Jill, you'll need to take charge here," and "Jill, you're devotional will set the tone for the rest of the devotionals." I felt like I looked at her like a deer in the headlights. I have to come up with a craft for the girls to do one day (something I can do, but still need ideas), have to teach the certification of like 5 activities which I know nothing about, and have to lead the setting up and taking down of camp (also something I know nothing about). I left the meeting feeling overwhelmed and calm at the same time (is that possible?), kind of like I'm in way over my head, but I'm okay with it. This is a new feeling for me so I'm just having faith and going with it. Also, I have to make pajama bottoms with the pattern and fabric pictured above since all the leaders and girls are going to have them in either pink, blue or yellow fabric. (Fortunately my mom is willing to sew these for me.)

This afternoon I took the kids to the dollar movies to see The Pink Panther. It was definitely a dollar movie, but we had a good time. It's nice that the 3 of us could see a movie and have a large popcorn and a large drink for $10 total. After that we went to Costco, where I purchased two sleeping bags (and some groceries, and actually remembered my coupons and saved over $20). This is a big deal because we are NOT campers and have NO camping equipment. We've had to borrow sleeping bags from Amie for the last two years for the Father/Son campout, but today I decided "no more." The Father/Son campout is this Friday and Saturday so we need sleeping bags, then I'll need one next month, plus we think we may be slowly branching out into the camping world so we actually want to own some equipment (gasp!). I'm kind of excited about this and was happy that Randy was too. We've talked to Adam and Amy about maybe planning a trip or two this summer now that the kids are getting a bit older. We're pretty clueless about such things, but want to do fun things like that so we're baby stepping our way into the outdoors.

**Does anyone have any good camp
get-to-know-you games, craft ideas, or advice?
Also, what equipment do we need as beginning campers**

P.S. What did you think of American Idol tonight? Apparently it was the showdown of the century (slight exaggeration no?). I really like both of them, but Katherine makes me cry so she's got my vote if I can ever get through on the phone.

What to write?

I'm up early in my post-walking euphoria. That hill gets a little easier and a lit more intimidating every time I climb it. (Easier because I know I'm not going to die when I get to the top, but more intimidating because I know how hard it really is.) I'm also experiencing a weird realization about getting up early. I don't like to wake up early, but I enjoy being awake early (it's a fine line really). I think that when I sleep later I go into another REM cycle or something that makes it harder for me to feel refreshed when I get out of bed. I do better on these morning when I get up and get going, the only problem with that is believing that realization when I'm relaxed and in the cozy. (You see my dilemma here.)

I'm feeling at a loss of what to blog about. I'm realizing how repetitive my life is. I don't really mind it, but I'm not sure it makes for interesting reading. I keep telling myself that I'm writing everyday mainly for me, but that whole commenting thing seems to be an indicator of whether I'm writing gibberish or not, so it's hard not to have that in mind as I write.

Today I have a camp meeting that apparently will only last 1 hour. Imagine that, a meeting that actually starts with an ending time in mind. That's news to me. The girl who is hosting the meeting is the mother of the 2 year old triplets, so she scheduled it during their nap time (generous of her to give up that free time) and then has stuff to do after that. I gotta say I love her efficiency and her organized nature. She was telling me on Saturday that she's very practical and can plan things well, but that she doesn't do anything cute. For example, someone was asking her about camp decorations and love notes and stuff like that, and she just went blank. She has no idea what to do. Isn't that interesting? I'm the opposite of her and hate to have to plan everything out and make the decisions, but am all about making things cute for the girls at camp. (She has an accounting degree and I have a humanities degree, hmmm.)

Today I am also committing to getting the piles of good mail ready to go and to the post office. I have been dragging this out for about a week and am so irritated with myself. I hate it when I don't do things I intend to do. Who's in control here anyway?

**Do you do the things you intend to do or
do the days get away from you?**

Two more things...

Randy mailed the final payment on my student loans from BYU today! Nothing like taking 10 years to pay 2 years worth of student loans--woohoo.

Also, I really need suggestions for a good gift for Whitney's preschool teacher. I need to give it to her on Thursday. Please help.

Manic Monday

We got these two cute cards in the mail today which greatly cushioned the blow that the junk mail dealt. Thanks to my sister-in-law Amy for the ridiculously cute invitation to her daughter Tess' 4th birthday party, and thanks to Kristi for the sweet thank you card she sent me. Where do you buy such cute thank you cards?

Today has been kind of a weird Monday because Randy stayed home from his regular job this morning to work on stuff for his free-lance job, so he was on the computer all morning (that's usually where I am). So instead I got the laundry started then recruited the kids to help me clean the garage (very frustrating job) and weed one of the flower beds. It's overcast today so it wasn't too sunny or too hot, but I hate feeling like I'm doing a job that can't be done. We use one side of our garage like a basement (since we don't have a basement) so it's always evolving as we store more luggage, holiday decorations, food storage, and such. Plus, the kids play in there and have their bikes, scooters, dress-up clothes, and miscellaneous toys and sports equipment (you can see why it gets messy). I like to think we can maintain some sort of order out there, but really it just gets piled high with stuff until it gets to the point that I can't take it any longer and finally spend a few hours rearranging the mess.

I also have a lot more laundry than usual because I didn't do any on Saturday (what with my Girl's Camp outing and all) so it seems more out of control than usual. I don't usually mind doing laundry, but when it feels like a never-ending task then I feel irritable. Perhaps I should eat something. I've only had a vitamin and water today, so that could be a source of my frustration. I'm retarded.

**How do you stay on top of your garage/basement kind of messes?**

Forget all that...

I feel like such a chump about my Saturday post. I had no business whining about the day being a bust because I had to drive to Heber to check out Girl's Camp (apparently I'll never learn). I wanted to go, I just didn't want Saturday to be a waste, but I can never seem to get outside myself and just go with the flow and enjoy whatever happens. I'm getting better about enjoying it while I'm in it, just not so much before hand.

So I met up with two other leaders and we drove to the Heber Valley Camp for their public open house. There were tons of women from all over the state coming to check out their camp sites for their Girl's Camp assignments. It was kind of cool to know that so many of us are planning and preparing (and going to a lot of work) to make camp a great experience for the girls. I'm always amazed at how much planning goes in to events like this and how clueless I was about it all when I was in Young Women.


The church is so organized and has 75 senior missionary couples that live up at camp in RVs from April-October. They help run the camp (it's huge), provide security, build new cabins, and do all the work that has to be done to keep that place running smoothly. They had people at the entrance of the camp there to greet the cars as we arrived and to give us maps and direct us to where we had to go. Then they had people all along the way to answer questions or help us with anything we needed. It was amazing. This camp is in the mountains and it just goes on forever. There are many camps within this camp and ours is the furthest in. We only have 8 young women going to camp so we have to sleep in tents. I was happy to see the clean bathrooms, private showers, and well marked trails. The whole forest is full of Aspen trees and it was so beautiful it felt like another world. I'm actually very excited to go, and very excited that I have a month to keep walking and prepare myself for the physical challenges it will bring.

So pretty much, I just have to apologize for complaining and publicly say that I am going to try very hard not to give in to those foolish thoughts that creep into my head whenever I have obligations (or opportunities) that I don't "feel" like doing. It's immature and tedius because I'm ALWAYS glad I went, and usually feel that way within minutes of going. I'm chalking it up to Resistance, and remembering to consider the source of such thoughts.

**Are you quick to learn or do you have to have the same epiphanies over and over again?**

Stake Conference Notes

We had Stake Conference today and actually got to the Alpine Tabernacle 20 minutes early, but still couldn't get a seat. We had to turn around and drive to the Stake Center to sit on the hard, folding chairs (my tailbone is killing me) and watch it on the big screen there. We had really hoped to get a seat at the Tabernacle because Henry B. Eyring was there and it would have been cool to be near him. We still had a good experience, but it doesn't feel like you're there when you're watching it in another building.

Elder Eyring spoke for the last 35 minutes and was so great. I seriously couldn't write fast enough and ended up with 5 pages of notes (which I'll summarize for you). The really great thing about having him speak to our Stake was how human he was. He talked to us rather than read a talk to us. He spoke of the Stake Presidency and us as a Stake numerous times, so much so that he seemed surprised by this too. He said...

• I'm sure you love the Stake Presidency, but I'm not sure you honor them the way you will one day when you learn who they are and see them the way the Lord sees them.

• There is something special happening in this stake specifically, and I'm not sure what it is. The Lord is raising up a generation that will change the world. (I got chills when he said this.)

He stressed over and over again that out of small things come great things, and that the Lord is preparing all of us for our mission in life.

• He said, we will send people out from this place (American Fork) that will make a difference in the world. (He referred to both youth missionaries and senior couples.)
• We need to become more like Jesus, do the things He did.
• Learn to love each other the way Jesus loves.
• Get to the point that when things happen in our Stake that we feel them as a family. Their happiness is our happiness, their tragedy is our tragedy.
• There is a need to come together and love each other.
• Jesus knows YOU and loves YOU individually. There is nothing you will experience in this life that He has not suffered for you, He understands.
• There is nothing that will come to you that He is not aware of.
  
• We NEED each other.
• The Lord knows you personally, He knows this place, you are not here by accident.
• We need to care in a broader circle (not just in our own ward), have the capacity to be ready to help each other.
• Blessings come from honoring the Priesthood and the Priesthood leaders. We can be taught even by their casual comments.
• Resist the urge to criticize your Priesthood leaders. They are human and make mistakes, but speaking ill of them offends the Spirit. We need the protection of always having the Spirit with us so don't give in to the urge to speak ill of the bretheren.
  
• Watch and listen to your leaders, just like children and the youth watch and listen to us. Be careful of what you smile about, frown about, and talk about. They watch and learn from all we do. (No pressure there.)
• The most important thing is for people to know you love them. They won't remember the things you teach them, but they will remember how they felt when they were with you, and whether you loved them or not.
• Live worthily and work to touch the lives of others, who will then touch the lives of others, and so on. What we do matters!

I just loved everything he had so say and the way he said it. It didn't feel like just another meeting for a group of people he didn't know. He seemed like he was receiving revelation for us and that he didn't know why he had to teach us these things, but that he was supposed to let us know what we needed to do to prepare ourselves for what the Lord has planned for us. Wow.

Saturday, blah, blah, blah

Today is kind of a bust for me. I had to make some treats and take them over to the church because they're having a ward activity (which we opted out of), but I'd signed up a month ago to bring a dessert so in the attempt not to be a flake I still dropped those off. It was kind of funny because I was sitting in the car while Whitney ran them over to the pavillion and this woman from my ward was just getting there and came over to talk to me and ask me what I was doing. I told her, and she laughed and said that she had signed up to bring chips but that her sons had eaten them all so she brought a plate with 5 apples on it.

So now I'm home and have a hour to hang out then I have to drive to Heber with the other leaders to scout out the place we're having Girl's Camp next month. Technically this should not be a big deal, but something about having to do it on a Saturday is really annoying to me. I'm interested in talking to these other women, hearing about their plans for girl's camp (since I'm clueless), and actually seeing the place we'll be camping, so really I shouldn't be bugged about this and yet I definitely am.

{The garage I should be cleaning}

It's silly really because it's not like I had other plans for today. But for me Saturday is always full of possibilities, so when I have something I'm committed to doing those possibilities are eliminated and I guess that's what bugs me. I've been trying to figure out what I usually do on a Saturday and I'm not really sure. There's usually cleaning, some yard work, blogging, and general hanging out. Sometimes we go to lunch or to a movie, and we usually have game night with my brother and his family (we're still doing that tonight). So really I shouldn't be so bummed out about losing a few hours today--sometimes I annoy myself, why can't I just go with the flow and enjoy the day no matter what I have to do?

**What do you do on Saturdays and am I crazy or would you be annoyed too?**

Gifts from San Antonio

I just got home from Michelle's house (I made cards today) and had a wonderful envelope full of goodies waiting for me from Jenny in San Antonio (who I've never met!). She sent me a book called Running with Angels (FYI, I've never read it, but the woman who did lives in Michelle's ward), a bunch of beautiful postcards, a Texas pen, magnet and keychain, a copy of Grey's Anatomy (oh my, oh my, Dr. McDreamy here I come), two Twix candy bars (my favorite) and a very nice note. I'm so touched by her thoughtfulness and just can't believe all of this is for me. Thanks Jenny, this was beyond nice of you. This makes me want to really get my act together, because I gathered some fun things to send this week but haven't gotten them ready to be mailed yet.

**What is your Friday night looking like?**

Photo catch-up

I finally took my pictures in to be developed today, so now I feel like I should catch up visually on some of the things I've posted about this week. First of let me explain this marvelous top picture. Remember last week when Book Club Amy was cleaning out her enviable scrapbook room and offered her stuff up to all of us on a first-come-first-serve basis? Well, I was first to speak for the cardstock and this is the huge stash she delivered to me today! I can't keep all of this in good conscience, so Hannah and Amie I will divide this up and deliver some to you two since you had both expressed interest in getting some as well.

Amy also brought me free movie passes for tomorrow night's showing of The DaVinci Code. Her husband's company bought out the theater and she offered some of the extras to us, and we're actually going to go. Randy and I never go on dates, so to have this planned and to have Lori coming to kid-sit is quite a rarity for a Friday night.

Amy also gave me a cd with some music I've been interested in. She went to the trouble of making a booklet to go with the cd so I know what songs are on it. She used rub-ons to label it. So thoughtful and cute. Thanks Amy.


This is the ugly, banana situation at our house at least once a week. I sent these home with Amie the other night since she has multiple freezers and makes all the bread for the Relief Society birthdays in her ward. It's like I'm running a banana charity or something.


This picture of the hood of my car is evidence of the birds' blatant disregard for my feelings and my property. We keep their bird feeder stocked, and it's not even close to where we park the car. In fact, there is nothing close to the car that would double as a bird bathroom, so what's up with this? It looks like it was done in flight. This has got to stop.


I just had to show you my tanker of water. This is another one of Amie's influences in my life. The first time we ever went scrapbooking together (4 years ago) she brought a big mug like this (only it was white and said Pepsi on it). I had never seen anything like this before and could not stop howling with laughter. I was laughing about it all night, and joking about her needing a wagon to carry it and so on. Of course, she brought me my own bright pink mug a few days later (which I quickly grew to love). I actually bought this ugly orange one for Michelle, as I was hoping to convert her to its good qualities, but she just couldn't reconcile herself to something this ugly. She banished it to a low cupboard and never used it, so when my pink mug broke (sad day) after being dropped on the garage floor, she "generously" offered to give me her mug.

I feel much better being able to share these things with photos to accompany them. I can't even imagine what it will be like when I finally get a digital camera and can document the minute-to-minute minutia of my life. Good times.

**What is your minute-to-minute minutia like?**

Sabatoge or solitude?

• It's 1:32am and I'm up. Awake, chatty, feeling a little silly and a bit antsy too. We had a fun night tonight because Amie's kids were here while Amie went to dinner with her 2 Aunts, her cousin and her cousin's daughter. My kids thought they won the lottery (if they knew what that was). What's up with having friends come over for dinner and stay until 10:00pm? It was the best of all world's for them. We made pancakes and bacon for dinner, had 2 kinds of syrup, they got to make either chocolate or strawberry milk, and we listened to American Idol over the radio (our radio has a tv option) so we didn't have to miss it while our DVR was recording The Amazing Race Finale (which we haven't watched).

• Randy has been working on the computer every night designing websites and logos as a free-lance artist for the company he used to work for. This is proving to be a wonderful opportunity to cushion our tight income, and I'm so thankful for the blessing of this job and his willingness and determination to do it. It makes us feel like there's hope for our financial future (a new feeling for us).
• I actually read my book for awhile today while the kids were playing with the neighbor kids. I had done all my usual housework and blogging, and wasn't feeling great (cramps) so actually allowed myself the luxury of getting cozy on my bed. It's always hard for me to get the pillows just right, but when I finally get surrounded by pillows and have my perfect blanket (thanks again Amie), and my tanker mug of ice water next to me, I'm in heaven. I did doze off quite a bit, but never really surrendered to the nap (not sure why, except that the neighbor kids were here). I made some progress in my book (The Golden Rope) and am really enjoying it. I've got books on the brain after my successful DI finds yesterday.
• I realized today that I haven't been taking a lot of pictures lately. This is highly unusual for me, so I'm trying to figure out what's going on. My camera is always handy (on the top shelf of one of our bookshelves) so I'm quick to take a picture of Whitney with stickers all over her face (she did this today), or the kids playing on the slip-n-slide with the neighbors, but other than that I haven't been going out exploring or taking flower photos or anything. This kind of bums me out because I'd been taking so many during the early spring. I guess I can remedy this easily, but what I'm wondering is what's the reason behind not taking so many lately?
• So the sabatoge part of this post is how this late-night alertness affects the early-morning walking with Randy. He overslept this morning so when he got up, I thought it was 6:15 and got out of bed and found the kids awake and playing. I said to Landon, "what are you doing up so early?" and he looked at me like I was crazy and said, "what time is it?" I then saw that it was 8:00am. Oops, guess we aren't walking today. (At least that was Randy's call, I fully got up expecting to go walking.) So now it's almost 2:00am and that means the alarm will be going off in 4 hours but I'm still awake and thinking about having some cereal. Does this mean I'm a slacker? What to do, what to do?

**Apparently this was another random post,
what's going on with you?**

Happy Birthday Jana!

Two words...egg sac

{Large front flower bed}

I've just come in from working in the front yard for a couple of sweaty hours and am feeling good that I finally got to plant the flowers I bought on Monday. I go back and forth from being excited and then overwhelmed by the prospect of maintaining all our flower beds. The weeds seem to be on steroids and the spiders are everywhere. I've been neglecting the flower bed that's to the right of our front door (not shown) because tons of grass is growing in there and it's going to take more than me to get it out of there (a.k.a. Randy), but I wanted to plant a few things in the clear area of that bed. So I was kneeling on the grass and reaching in there when this rather large spider went right past my hand. I gasped, said a few choice words, then watched it. It had a big, white egg sac on its back end. I was both horrified and amazed. I got out of there quickly and lost sight of it after I watered the flowers. Eek.

The above photo is of our front flower bed a month ago. It's looking much more lively now (damn lack of digital technology) so I will have to take some photos to document my efforts. I got lots of the weeds out, and planted more flowers. Oh how I love watching the flowers grow. Besides all the spider sightings today, and pesky black ants which kept biting me, I saw the tiniest praying mantis in the world! It was almost not to be believed. It was smaller than a grain of rice, very cool to see. I tried to call the kids to come and see it, but they claim they didn't hear me. It was one of those moments in nature where you feel like you're being given a gift from God or something.

Now for some random thoughts...

• Why can't bananas be good for more than one day. I currently have two bunches of bananas in various stages of browning. I usually bring these to Michelle or my mom since they like to make banana bread so much, but in the meantime they're quite ugly.
• I have a hideous (in most people's opinions) 64oz mug that Amie gave me (which I used to fill with Diet Coke) that I've been filling everyday with ice water. It's insulated so it stays cold all day. On Monday I drank it twice and was working on the third before bed. That's a lot of water!
  
• Randy came home from work last night and went to check on the air conditioner in the backyard, he opened a box, flipped a switch, and now it's blowing cold air. Duh.
• I realized last night that it's taking me forever to read my book "The Golden Rope." I really like it, but have only been reading right before falling asleep, so that's maybe 5 pages a night. Apparently I need to have some quality time on my bed during the day, because it's keeping me from getting to other books.
• I finally watched the Grey's Anatomy finale last night while I took price tags off the books from DI, then cleaned them all. The show rocked my world, and the stack of books is very pleasing, but why must DI use those super sticky price tags? I have to scrape them off every book and then use GooGone to get the sticky residue off, sheesh.
• Oh yeah, I can't find our large pink bottle of Sunscreen. What the heck? Where could it possibly have gone? I only have tiny tube of sunscreen to use until I find the bottle, meanwhile it's going to be 90 degrees today and the kids are already in the sprinklers with friends. Most likely I'll end up buying another $8 bottle of sunscreen, then I'll find the one I lost. Good grief.
  

**Anyone with help for me with the spiders, ants,
bananas, reading, or anything else?**

Score!

Today is a ridiculously hot day and I think our air conditioning (which I just turned on last night for the first time) isn't working properly. It has been running all day but isn't cooling things down. Aargh!

I cleaned out my closet ended up with a huge pile of old clothes that I've hung on to because of my problem with feeling like I don't have a lot of clothing choices, but then end up scorning them because they're outdated and lame. Most of them were winter clothes, and I got rid of my turtle neck sweaters. I'm not sure when I became such a freak but it seems that I've gotten to the point in life where the passage of time just blurs together and before I know it I've had something which I consider "new" for like 5 years. My greatest fear is that someone would set me up to be on "What Not To Wear." (I would not think that was funny.)

Long story, short...the kids and I went to drop the clothes off at DI and ended up going inside to look at books. I scored this huge stack, plus some other nonfiction books on taking care of my skin, tips for cleaning, Dr. Phil, and so. I let the kids each choose a bunch of books as well. We actually used a cart this time, and it's a good thing because we ended up wtih 32 books! (Only $26) I think these DI visits are becoming a bit of an addiction for me, but they're a good one right?

**What is the bookshelf situation like at your house?**

P.S. I have copies of the Tracy Chevalier books already, does anybody want to claim one or both of them (and I already have Here On Earth as well)?

Frumpy Summer Collection

Yesterday ended up being a busy, productive, HOT, and enjoyable day. I met Amie and the kids to swim in the morning, then she took them back home with her because my mom wanted them to come over after work (and Amie is my mom's neighbor) to play on the new slip-n-slide she bought. So I picked up some lunch, came home and got to eat by myself (wow) and watch Saturday Night Live (which I'd recorded). Most enjoyable.

I was then able to check blogs, take care of some laundry and other home-type stuff, then left to go shopping. I have mentioned that every year I end up with what I lovingly refer to as my Frumpy Summer Collection, but so far this year I've had nothing to wear. I did find a few things that night of shopping desperation before Women's Conference, but those things were dressier than my normal life allows. So I went to Pebbles In My Pocket (just because it was double stamp Monday and I had no kids), Michael's, and The Distribution Center (I'm trying to find a temple dress that doesn't make me feel like a Uniboobed old lady), then I was heading back over to the mall trying to decide where to go and on a whim thought I'd try Meier and Frank.

I NEVER shop at department stores because I'm not good at shopping for clothes and feel so overwhelmed by the endless racks of clothes, but I'm always seeing commercials about fantastic sales there so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Good choice for me. I ended up being in there for 2 hours and found my entire Frumpy Summer Collection for this year! Woohoo. Of course, I don't love the way anything looks on me (that's a given), but I still need options because my 5 year old turtle neck sweaters just aren't going to get me through the summer. It's was like 86 degrees yesterday and I was NOT happy about it. Anyway, most of the items I found were 60% off, so I was able to get many shirts, a skirt and a pair of pants ($25) for about $125. That's not bad for an entire collection. I'm relieved that I will now have something to wear, and am thankful that I had an afternoon to go shopping alone (thanks mom).

**Do you shop for clothes all the time or in
big chunks of desperation like I do?**

Back in action

I went walking with Randy again this morning. Last week ended up being a bust because Randy has been working late every night so he wasn't getting up early, and then on the couple days he did go, I was wasted from staying up too late. But now that I'm going to Girl's Camp in a month I'm newly motivated to not make a fool of myself at camp. It's nice to have a goal in mind, and as I was powering my way up the ridiculously large hill we climb I could envision myself hiking at camp and not falling down in a heap. This will be good for me. Apparently public humiliation is a good motivator for me. Of course, one could argue that it isn't really because I still look the way I do, but that really indicates a certain level of complacency I've become accustomed to living with. Aerobic self-combustion and red-faced, asthmatic breathing is a whole different story.

I'm also feeling good about camp because this time around I'm not hopelessly addicted to diet Coke. I was in a very bad way 10 years ago, and had a cooler with a stash of diet Coke in my car up at camp, that I was sneak away to each day (like a junkie) to get my fix so I could function for the day. I'm happy to say I've been diet Coke free (not even a drop) since last September. I will admit to lusting after it every now and then (like yesterday as Randy and Lori enjoyed it with dinner), but I haven't caved in at all. I just won't go back to the hold it had on me or to the headaches that accompanied it.

Today Amie and I are taking our kids to swim at an indoor pool. We did this last week, and found that since everyone else's kids are in school we were the only ones there (until the skinny moms showed up with their babies around 11:00). So if we get an early start hopefully we'll have the pool to ourselves again. We don't enjoy bathing suits at all, but force ourselves to do this for the kids. (There will be no photo documentation of this experience.)

**What else should I be doing to get ready for Girl's Camp?**

Happy Mother's Day

{Mother's Day Art by Landon age 7 1/2}



{Mother's Day Art by Whitney age 5 1/2}

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go
walking around outside your body."
--Elizabeth Stone

I don't think I can write anything appropriate for Mother's Day, so that quote will have to suffice. I will say that Mother's Day should be renamed "Mothering Day" or something that would better include all the women who influence our lives and the lives of children, those women (sisters, friends, aunts, neighbors) who fill in the many gaps in our own mothering. There's way too much involved in raising a child to have it boil down to just a mom and a dad.

{Happy Birthday Lara!}

Busy Saturday

Brace yourselves, I have been up since 7:05am today! For me, this is a very unusual event. Landon and Whitney are old enough to get up, turn on cartoons, get themselves breakfast, and entertain themselves, so Randy and I usually sleep in until 8:30 or so. I got a call yesterday from the Ward Executive Secretary asking me to come in to see the Bishop at 8:00am today. Whoa. Without even thinking I laughingly said, "Do they know I already have 3 callings?" Fortunately he laughed, because I felt like a schmuck for saying that (especially to someone who has to spend so many hours at the church each week).

So I went to the church at 8:00 this morning and had a good visit with the 2 counselors in the Bishopric. They ended up asking me if I would be the assistant Ward Camp Director for Girls Camp! (Didn't I just post about not being a camping-type of girl?) Apparently Girls Camp is
June 19-23, and the official Camp Director is the young mother I've mentioned before that has 2 year old triplets! I actually said to the men, "If Toby can do it, I certainly can." (What in the world? Should she ever have to do anything with 2 year old triplets? I think not.) I actually ran into Toby in the church parking lot as I left and she's very excited. She said we only have 8 young women going to camp (out of the possible 13), and that it's going to be great, but that she can't stay the whole time because she can't leave her kids that long. Crazy. I'm actually okay with this and kind of excited about it. I was the ward camp director back in 1996 and that was a HUGE stress for me. I was 24 turning 25 (had to be at camp for my birthday, grr) and not very strong in the gospel. I overprepared for camp, but then was shy about it while there (retarded I know). So now, I'm much stronger in the gospel, much more self-confident, much fatter, but much more excited to go. This will be a huge motivation for me to get back to the early morning walking (we didn't go this week because Randy has been staying up late working).

So after my appointment at the church, I ran to the grocery store, then had to come home and make two batches of muffins, a fruit dip, and wash strawberries for our Activity Day's Mother's Day Brunch. The brunch was from 11:00-12:00 and went very well. So now I'm home and can exhale, and clean up the huge mess I left this morning while in such a frenzy of activity. Randy (such a good guy) took the kids to my grandma's house at 9:00 this morning to help with our annual extended-family clean-up day at my grandma's house. Everyone helps wash walls, windows, work in the yard, and do all the stuff my grandma can't do anymore. After that they're going to hang out at my brother Adam's house with the kids. (Translation = I get to be home alone for several hours! Yippee.)


It's already getting beasty hot here (not something I enjoy), so working in the yard is out of the question until early evening. My flower beds are a mess of weeds and grass, so I really need to spend a lot of time on them (maybe Monday morning). I did water the flowers for awhile, and I must say I love doing that. It kind of bugs me when the kids want to help with that, because I like to do it so much. Of course, I want them to learn how to work in the yard and I'm glad they want to be helpful, but there's something about that time in the yard and the relationship I have with the things growing out there that I enjoy that watering time.

Lastly, I got some fun mail today. I love it when magazines arrive and today I got my new Martha Stewart Living and Creating Keepsakes, plus a fun little package from my sister-in-law Amy. She ordered this "J" stamp from Impress Rubber Stamps for me and wrote a very nice note. Thanks Amy! What a nice surprise, especially after a hectic morning. I might have to go lie on my bed and read these new magazines, then come back to my scrapbook room to tackle this never-ending mess.

**What church callings do you guys have?
Is your Saturday peaceful or hectic?**

Great mail day!!

The kids brought the mail in together today, and I could hear them as they were walking up the driveway saying, "it's all for mom," "wow, look at all the packages she got!" I must say, that's what I like to hear, hee. So I got a package from Amie, a package from Lara (who I've never even met, but feel that I know and enjoy), and a book from Amazon.com that I ordered for my ward book club. It's a banner day here in American Fork.

First let me tell you about my friend Amie. We met in our ward in Eagle Mountain (when Randy, me and the kids were living with my parents, swing low sweet chariot). Amie and I were in a card group along with a bunch of other women but we really didn't know each other. One day Amie and I were talking after card group and somehow started talking about Weight Watchers and walking (I can only assume she sought me out as a fat friend, and I'm alright with that), and decided to go walking together in the mornings. We didn't actually last very long with the walking, but we did end up becoming very good friends. She's funny in a way that's different from anyone else I know. She's self-deprecating, quick, and all-around amusing. So the note she wrote on the envelope of this good mail today just cracked me up. One of her favorite words is "homely" and every time she says it, it makes me laugh.


As for Lara, I've only even been aware of her presence for a few short weeks via her comments on my blog, and then her posts on her blog, and then comments on everyone else's blogs. But I am fond of her already, and am sure we'll become good friends (especially if she's already sending me thoughtful notes and books in the mail). Thanks Lara.

{This is the book Lara sent}

So to explain, no there is not time, to sum up...I am thankful for good friends, for good mail, for thoughtfulness, for blogs, for generosity in all forms, and for the chance to be a part of it at all.

**Anything good happening in your world today?**

P.S. The book I got from Amazon for my ward book club is
The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall