Sunday thoughts

As I was writing about Landon's baptism day I was torn between doing a brief recap of the day and really recording my feelings. I concluded that it was at least a two-post topic so I saved the rest of my thoughts for today. You may want to skip this post as it may be incoherent and ramblingly spiritual.

As I ran around Saturday morning getting the food and detail items like balloons and streamers for the house I kept reminding myself that the actual baptism was the important thing, not the stuff. I knew this and truly believed it so I did pretty well and didn't freak or stress out (which I tend to do when planning a big event). I did get a bit frazzled the last hour and a half before the baptism because I was frantically typing up the information for the programs and didn't feel like the house was ready (I'd cleaned the day before, but then Whitney was home for 24 hours and things didn't look as nice anymore).
I finished the programs and was running around setting out serving dishes and wishing I had called in reinforcements to help with food prep. My parents showed up and my mom saved the day by slicing the croissants, and my dad ran to Hart's to get 2 bags of ice for the drink bucket. These two acts of service did a great deal for my peace of mind. Randy and Landon headed over to the church to get Landon's white clothes ready, then as I got dressed my mom helped out, and Adam and Amy hung streamers. My dad returned with the ice and was pouring in into the large bucket (from the blog party) which was filled with cans of soda and water bottles. A chunk of ice fell and punctured a can of soda, thus sending a huge spray of cola all over me, my dad, Adam and the ceiling! I just started laughing and said "we're going to see this as funny right?" I don't think my dad thought it was funny, but he's the one who did it so what could he do? Luckily he and Adam both had suit jackets to wear to the baptism so they looked fine, I was wearing a freshly ironed white shirt and ended up going to the baptism with spots all over me and with a sticky forehead and hair. I'm just so grateful that I wasn't phased by this possible-trauma at all.


So the baptism itself was wonderful. My dad gave a great talk about the importance of baptism. I was very emotional during this, especially because he told Landon that he should be thankful that he had parents who had taught him and enabled him to be here, because he was in the right place at the right time. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for my testimony of the gospel, for my desire to be righteous, for Randy being a worthy priesthood holder, and for Landon's valiant spirit. I still can't believe I'm the mom, and as I sat there I felt this huge responsibility and sense of relief that we'd gotten him this far.

Randy's dad gave a talk about the Holy Ghost and ended up asking Landon a bunch of questions that really put him on the spot. I was so relieved that Landon gave good answers to all of the questions, and I felt humbled by his bright mind. I feel like I've been more complacent than I should be and that much of his knowledge is from his ability to absorb what he is taught at church and from those around him. I DON'T feel like it's because Randy and I are anything special as parents, though I really wish it was because of us. I left there wanting to be a better mother and with an increased desire to prepare Landon for the years ahead as he progresses and makes his way closer to serving a mission.


Randy and I ended up giving Landon a tiny little pin of a Stripling Warrior for the lapel of his suit. I think it's the perfect thing. We were talking to him about it and asking him if he knew why we chose that pin, so he was telling us what he knew about the Stripling Warriors (that they were righteous, strong, brave, etc.,) and I said "and they were taught by their mothers." Once again, I felt myself wondering how much I'm teaching Landon and if I'm instilling in him a love and belief in the gospel so that he has the strength he needs to face an increasingly evil world. I want him to grow up and say, "I do not doubt my mother knew it."

I was so emotional yesterday and today, and thoroughly enjoyed having such a full heart. I feel like I'm always happy to be at church, to listen and to serve others, but don't always have a burning desire to share my feelings. Today I felt overwhelmed with love for everyone and so full of gratitude for the gospel in my life. It's entirely possible to live a decent life without it, but I don't want to do that. Randy and I had a few years when we were first married where we weren't really active at church. We didn't have any "issues" exactly, I chalk it up to newlywed laziness and an identity crisis on my part. I'm now thankful for those dark years because I know how it feels not to pray, not to have The Spirit, not to attend my meetings, not to serve others, not to feel love for those around me, and not to be filled with a desire to be the best I can be. Because of that darkness I now KNOW the light the gospel brings and KNOW how much I need it. I'm grateful for that knowledge and am happy to share it. I bore my testimony in front of my family for the first time at church today, and was fine about doing that.

So this is the rest of the story of Landon's baptism day. There's nothing quite like a major milestone in your child's life to send you upriver in a flood of emotions.

Truly Wonderful Day

Landon's baptism day was wonderful. We were surrounded by family and friends, so much so that I just feel so thankful, humbled and blessed to know each of them. This photo is of Landon right after the baptism and confirmation were over. This is a very rare sincere smile from him. I love his expression, I love how handsome he looked in his new suit, and I love it that he's holding his new Faith in God book and a little journal Randy's parents gave him. In the car on the way home we were asking him what he thought about the baptism and he just said "good" but then we were commenting on how nice it was that his best friends came to the baptism and that he's lucky to have so many great friends and family to share his special day, and he said, "Yes, I sure am lucky!" It hurt my heart.

We got to use our new DI buffet today and it was perfect. Our place is tiny so it doesn't take many people to make it feel like a full house, but I rather like that. To me it always feels intimate and happening (though crowded). I had gotten croissants, a deli tray, fruit and the cake from Costco, plus we had a great spinach dip from Amy, 7 layer dip and carmel corn from my mom, and Amie's gooey chex mix too (she didn't even get to come over to eat, but still brought something). I had gotten huge bags of Mike&Ikes, Skittles, and M&Ms too so the kids were giddy about those. I gotta say the food was scrumptious, and I'm so happy that I didn't stress out about it or make myself crazy by making any of it. It was so nice of everyone to bring something tasty to contribute.

Landon's only food request for his party was this awesome chocolate cake from Costco. It really was tasty and is rather amazing for $15. It served everyone who wanted some plus we have 4 pieces left for tomorrow. I'm actually pretty psyched about all the great leftovers we'll have for tomorrow. We really had such a fantastic day, and it was so great how everyone stayed to hang out for awhile. Adam, Amy and the girls outlasted everyone and stayed until 10:00pm tonight. We just sat on the couches and talked for hours, it was great.
To see the rest of the photos click here.

I failed to mention how wonderful it was to have 2 personalized baptism towels, one for Randy and one for Landon to dry off with. I feel so blessed to have such thoughtful and generous friends. You two don't even really know Landon, so that was a truly amazing gift. Thanks!!

The Big Day

I can't believe Landon's Baptism Day is actually here. He's excited about it, so that makes me excited about it. When he was little (like maybe 4) he used to cry when we'd talk about him getting baptized. I think he was afraid of getting in the water and of the Holy Ghost (terrifying prospects for a 4 year old I guess), so I'm happy that he understands so much more now and isn't worried at all.

This morning both kids have soccer practice, then I'm off to the post office (finally a bunch of good mail to send), Costco for party food, and then back home to make sure all our clothes and the house are ready for the big day, and to do the program. I think it should be really nice, especially since Landon is the only kid from our ward getting baptized. That means my and Randy's dads are giving the talks, Michelle is playing the piano, my mom is leading the music, my brother and Randy's stepmom are giving the prayers...so it's a family affair which is so much more personal for Landon. I can't wait to see him in his new suit and tie or with that freshly baptized glow.

I could go on and on about not feeling like I could possibly be the mom of an 8 year old, but apparently I AM the mom of an 8 year old and really must come to grips with that. I've never been real keen on the aging process so other than little bits of insight and maturity I can't say I'm in favor of it. Ha.

**How do you feel about aging?**

Advice Taken...Thanks!

Due to the overwhelming response about the dresser (including a phone call from Kristi this morning) Randy went over to DI as soon as they opened this morning at 10:00 to get the dresser. It was so handy that he didn't have to work today (Labor Day bonus from his boss) because I wouldn't have been able to wrangle the dresser by myself. It's a heavy beast of a thing. Interesting to note, it has casters on the bottom of it so once we got it out of the car we were able to roll it down the sidewalk with little effort. We thoroughly cleaned it inside and out and then brought it in the house. It's a perfect fit and the right color red for our house! I don't think we're even going to mess with refinishing it or changing the hardware.

Here is the finished arrangement. This is really perfect timing because we're having people over to eat after Landon's baptism tomorrow and now we'll have a better place to put all the food! I'm so happy about this I can't even tell you. I'm also giddy about all the storage the drawers provide. The drawers all work great and are strong and stable. This was quite the score from DI. Woohoo. Thanks for you all your advice. I hate to think of me second guessing myself and not getting it.Michelle and Eva came over today to visit since we didn't get to go over to their house for our creative Friday because I was being the cleaning Nazi at home in preparation for the arrival of Randy's dad and stepmom, and the baptism festivities tomorrow. It's kind of funny that I spend 100's of hours with Michelle every year, but that very few of them are ever at my house. It just works out better to go to her house on Fridays, but it's kind of nice to have her come around here sometimes too. Eva was pretty happy to explore, play with our phone (we thought she'd called New Zealand at one point), and to let me hold her. I love it that she's so comfortable with me. She was wearing this darling dress today and is such the munchkin walking all over the place. Michelle brought me JCW's for lunch, which was so tasty and so well-timed because I hadn't eaten anything all day and was famished. Thanks Michelle!


I finally got some good mail this week. Fellow blogger and new friend Dana sent me a bunch of mini gift bags along with one of her beautiful handmade bracelet and earring sets. I love them and the bracelet fits perfectly, now I'll have something nice to wear at Landon's baptism tomorrow. Thanks Dana!

Landon got some good mail too. Kristi embroidered a beautiful baptism towel for tomorrow and included a poem and the world's cutest #8 tag. She also sent me some ribbon. Thanks Kristi! No more worries about it not arriving in time or about me chasing down the mailman tomorrow. We're all set.


Randy's parents called from their hotel in Provo to let us know they'd be coming to take us to dinner tonight. That has made for a much calmer afternoon than I'd expected. It's nice to have events like this to plan for because I enjoy having everything sparkling clean and organized, but usually I end up being exhausted and don't enjoy myself. I thought they were going to drive over straight from the airport around 2:00, so I had finished everything by 1:00 and was able to sit and talk to Michelle and just be calm. I'd love to squeeze a nap in too, but I think that will be pressing my luck.

**What do you think
of the new dresser?
Cute, tiny Eva?
My good mail?
Planning for company?**

Bits from my day

My first day of school do-over day went great. Last night Randy gave both Landon and Whitney blessings for the new school year, so I can exhale now. Also, I asked Whitney what she would like for her special breakfast and she said, "cinnamon rolls, 3 of them." That was easy for me since we buy the tubes of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. This morning all I had to do was preheat the oven because she wanted to put them on the tray. Nice. She also had cantaloupe (which she loves) and was so happy about it that she used her fork and cantaloupe as a microphone and ran around singing to the song on the radio.

This is her giddy face, but with her missing teeth and squished posture she looks like a constipated vampire. Hopefully it's just temporary.

Today was the first time I ever experienced excitement about being the one to open a new jar of Nutella, but after Kristi's cute post last week about leaving a message in the new jar of peanut butter I couldn't help but try it out myself. I couldn't get a very clear picture of it, but you get the idea. Nutella is a bit goopier than peanut butter so I hope it's still there the next time Landon goes to use it. Thanks for the cute idea Kristi.

This afternoon the kids and I went to visit an old lady from our ward. The compassionate service committee is scheduling people to go visit her once a day because she's home alone all the time, doesn't see well and fell last week and hurt her leg. The kids and I have visited her before to take her dinner awhile ago so we felt more comfortable this time around. She's pretty chatty and can remember things from a very long time ago. I asked her about the enormous tree in her yard because she's lived in this house so long I figured she could have planted it. It turns out that she and her husband moved into this house in 1938 and planted the tree in 1939 (I didn't have my purse with my camera in it with me or I would have taken a picture), it's a remarkable tree.

After visiting May we hurried home to get Whitney ready for her soccer pictures. She actually hurried! Whitney has never successfully hurried before, so this was a monumental day! I think she looks so cute in her soccer ensemble. She looks like an official player, especially in comparison to all the crazy kids who wear their shin guards on the outside of their socks, or with ankle length socks, or one little girl was even wearing them over her knees, it's so funny!

After the soccer game Randy took the kids home and I ran over to the school for Back To School Night. I'm still pretty much freaking out about the 28 kid-class size. I talked to my friend Betsy (who is a first grade teacher in Michigan) and she said it's illegal for their kindergartens to have more than 20 students! I didn't feel better about it after listening to the teacher tonight. I asked her if she had an aide come in at all and she said she gets an aide for a "few minutes each day so I really heavily on the parents. " Does that sound sick and wrong to anyone else? I realize it's only day 2, but I'm not feeling good about things. (By the way, the photo is of the wall in the school with all these little people made by the kindergarteners. They were given the paper and told to make them at home and then bring them to school on their evaluation day. Guess which one is Whitney's? The huge one of course! She insisted on making a skirt and legs. A lot of the little people on the wall were darling but looked like their moms made them. I couldn't tell if Whitney's indicated that I was a good mom for letting her make it herself or if I was a bad mom for not being more involved.

After Back To School Night I decided to press my luck and go to DI for a scan of the book section. I actually got a cart this time because it wasn't crowded in there and because I always end up with more than I can comfortably carry. Tonight was my best score yet! I filled almost half the cart and was so excited about it that I was overly chatty with the sales clerk who really didn't understand or share my excitement. I got all of this for $24.75!!! This means good mail for you guys in the near future.

I saw this dresser at DI tonight and can't decide if it's heinous or if it has potential. I'm not a thrift store queen when it comes to furniture, but I also don't ever have the money to buy nice furniture so I was wondering if this was decent. It's only $55 and the drawers work pretty well. I was actually thinking about it for in the dining area under the picture frame wall because I always want a buffet-type thing there. Please tell me the truth so I know whether I should be there when they open at 10:00 tomorrow morning or if I should steer clear of it.

**What do you think about all of this?**

Book Club Birthday Dinner

So last night was my belated-birthday extravaganza with my book club friends (they're really so much more than that, but that's how we're friends so I keep calling them that) at Amy's house. She had the table all decked out and beautiful, and they'd made pork carnitas with all the fixins. I love Mexican food so I ended up eating too much feeling that awful full feeling.


The girls gave me this cute envelope with a $100 gift certificate to Paper Source! I can't seem to get enough of Paper Source cards and envelopes lately and have had Pam bring me supplies her last two visits to Utah (she lives down the street from a store, lucky girl). My goal is to make more than 24 hours without spending it because I tend to blow through gift certificates so fast that I didn't even get to enjoy the anticipation and mental pre-shopping. I only have another hour or so to go to make that goal so I think I may actually make it until tomorrow (because Randy works on the computer at night). Such self-control.

This is the awesome book Jenn created for me. She made six envelopes out of this really cute cardstock and then connected them together to make an accordion book. The girls all created an insert to put in their envelope. The theme of the book was good mail so there were addresses and postmarks and all kinds of fun postal-related things. It was so perfect for me, I just love it.

These are the pages they made. My favorite thing about these is how thoughtful and personal they are, then how cute and creative they are. It means a lot to me to read the kind things they have to say and the quotes they choose to use. It's really a priceless gift.

Inserts in order are from Amy, Collette, then Jana.

Inserts in order are from Collette, Jana, Michelle and Jenn.

We also had Michelle's fantastic vanilla-cream pie for dessert while we watched Collette's slide show from her cruise to Greece. This will come as no surprise to anyone that knows me, but I have no desire to travel to exotic places! I don't know if it's because I'm a homebody, a chicken, a chaos-a-phobe (new word), or what but I don't like to go far from home, and I especially don't like the thought of international flights, foreign languages, dirty places, and shifty foreigners. Collette's tales of Egypt did nothing to change my mind about this. I was happy to see her photos and hear about her experience, but basically felt recommitted to my nontravelling ways.

So thanks to my Book Club friends for their thoughtfulness, generosity, time and effort. It was worth the wait and I absolutely love the gift certificate and the book. Click here for the rest of the photos.

**What do you think about my birthday good fortune?
Are you a world traveler or a homebody or both?**

I need a do-over!

This morning was Whitney's first day of school and I didn't do ANY of the things I wanted to do. I blame my book club friends for keeping me out too late last night with my belated-birthday dinner. I didn't get to bed until 1:15am and then couldn't sleep! I tossed and turned for an hour and then came out onto the couch to watch tv and get groggy (Have any of you seen that infomercial for that awesome spray painting system?) I started to feel sleepy and turned off the tv, but still took awhile to fall asleep, so I think it was around 3:30 or something. Why oh why must it be this way?? I've been doing so well with going to bed at a reasonable time.


So since I was gone last night we didn't have a quiet evening at home with a night-before-school blessing for Whitney. Also, this morning I was so tired and hadn't planned well so I didn't have anything special for breakfast. She didn't expect anything, so she wasn't disappointed, but when Landon started kindergarten a couple years ago I made bacon, biscuits, hashbrowns, chocolate milk, grapes and took pictures of every moment of his morning. So pretty much we're going to treat tomorrow like the first day of school and try this again. She will get her blessing tonight and I'll make her a special breakfast tomorrow and decorate the door and have freshly baked cookies when she gets home. It's not like she's my 6th kid or anything, why is this so hard for me??

(Notice Whitney's head as she's lost in the crowd.)

The actual drop-off at school was pretty traumatic for me. It was chaos, which everyone knows I don't handle well, so it was rather off-putting and crazy. The two kindergarten classes were supposed to gather outside one of the entrances, so all the kids were there and all their parents were there, plus the first graders were there. It was crazy. Whitney actually started to follow the first graders into the school but I had to run after her (ever seen a fat girl run?) yelling her name until she turned around and was all startled and confused. Then the two kindergarten teachers came out and had their classes line up to go inside. I have to say my tears were flowing because I was sending her into an unorganized mess, and not because she was starting kindergarten. That was a moronic display. Why didn't they have them come like 10 minutes after everybody else so we could avoid the confusion? Why weren't the teachers out there to begin with? This was not a good way for me to start my public school experience. Well have to see what she has to say when she gets home.

I started writing this earlier this morning while Whitney was gone, but then Jenn stopped by to bring me a jar of homemade salsa and a bag of chips, so we ended up talking until it was time to go get Whitney. This is what Whitney looked like coming out of school. She looked happy and was holding the communication envelope I'll be passing back and forth every Wednesday with her teacher.

She didn't have much to say in the car, but then we ended up going out to lunch and she chose IHOP (I was thinking a Happy Meal at the Drive Thru, but oh well). We ended up being at the restaurant for over an hour (can you say slow?) so Whitney had plenty of time to tell me about her day. She says she has 15 boys in her class and 13 girls (this is a shockingly large class size in my opinion so I'm not happy about this). She said a boy in the class wouldn't sit down when the teacher asked him to and then he scratched the teacher and made her bleed! What in the world? She said they're only allowed 3 seconds at the water fountain for a drink, and that 4 kids had to use the bathroom. Hmmm.

I'm not comforted by any of this information and can't wait until I can spend some time in the classroom and see what really goes on in there. I know it's only the first day, but 28 kids is a lot for one teacher to handle, and they're only there for 2 hours and 52 minutes so what's the point if there's too many kids to accomplish anything? I'm wigging out.

**Do you need do-overs very often?
How was your child's kindergarten first day?
How do you feel about IHOP?
Am I overreacting?**

Taking Care of Business--The Sequel

I took Whitney to the school for her kindergarten evaluation this morning. She did well, though she forgot what a rectangle is. (What?!) Oh well. I signed up to help in the class for just about everything offered so I'm hoping to be involved enough that I feel like I know the kids in her class, her teacher, and what goes on there. I may be experiencing some separation anxiety with this. It's weird because I'm not really ever like that, I tend to go with the flow and feel like it's all part of growing up. I'm hoping it's just because I'm not familiar with the school or anyone there because I'm experiencing a strange melancholy today and can't identify its source. I hate that. Her teacher is super nice, and Whitney is very excited for school tomorrow, so hopefully my feelings are just hormone-induced. As we were walking out of the school it smelled so good. I asked Whitney what that good smell was and she said, "It's the mow-lawner." She was right, the lawn was freshly mowed and the lawn-mower was coming around the corner, too funny.

After Whitney's evaluation we dropped off the film from Ethan's photo shoot and then had to go to the PG Police Department to take care of my speeding ticket. As we were walking in Whitney said, "we're not going to jail right?" I forget that she's only 5 sometimes.

I could have just paid the $82 for the speeding ticket, but I can keep it off my record by going to traffic school in a few weeks. So I ended up paying $142. I guess you can't fight city hall (ha, I've never had a reason to say that before), but it sure feels like extortion to me.

I've talked to Kristi and Tasha today, picked up Ethan's photos and put them in an album, talked to a couple people from church about various activities, and have a few more items to prepare for church.

Tonight is Enrichment and I'm in charge of the car pool drivers and organizing rides for the activity, then I'm cutting out early to go to Book Club Amy's for our book club celebration of my birthday (6 weeks after the fact). I enjoy these things and look forward to them, but definitely experience some anxiety because I don't like being the center of attention. I'm trying to get over that and just be a grown-up, but I tend to experience some self-sabotage when it comes to events like this.

I haven't gotten any good mail or sent any this week so far and I want to remedy that. I have a couple things in the works, but have let my mind get cluttered with all the details of everything I have to do this week. Annoying.

**I can't think of any questions, but surely you can say something.**

Last "free" day

Today was my last free day before I have to start having Whitney ready for school each day. She doesn't start until Wednesday, but tomorrow is her evaluation/testing in the morning so I'm counting that as a scheduled day. She's really excited to start school, but I'm feeling a little hesitant. My primary lesson yesterday was on peer pressure (from the example of King Solomon's son Rehoboam) and as we were discussing examples of issues that might arise in the kids' lives (i.e., friends tempting them to smoke, steal, disobey parents, etc.) the kids ended up telling me all kinds of horror stories about kids from school. Every single one of them (they're 10-11 year olds) had stories about kids bringing guns to school, cigarettes in the bathroom, and other scares at school. I actually said, "that's why I home school my kids" but then felt flushed with panic that I'm sending Whitney out into it. I go back and forth from thinking it's not that big of a deal, everyone sends their kids to school to thinking it's a huge deal and why would I ever let them out of the house. Do you guys worry about that?


Whitney wanted to paint with me this morning. I don't know what's up with her the past week or so, but she's suddenly interested in doing things with me. She'll come up to me while I'm on the computer and say, "mom, can we hang out?" or "mom, what's something we can do together?" I have actually been good about getting off the computer (though I'm bummed out about it) to go do things with her. She was so delighted this morning that I wanted to paint this little ceramic ladybug we'd bought at Wal-Mart last week. I always end up enjoying the time I spend with her, I just don't always want to do those things right then. I just keep thinking how glad I am that she still wants to do anything with me at all.


We went to the new Costco in American Fork today. It had finally calmed down enough that it wasn't crazy busy in there. It's very bright and sunny in there because they have tons of skylights. It's a nice store and is only about 7 minutes away from us so we're pretty psyched about that. I had them develop some of my digital photos today for the first time. I got my camera on June 2nd (I'll always remember the day because it was the blog party) but have never gotten any prints made. That has always been my main complaint about digital cameras and yet now I've gone and done the same thing. I only ended up getting some of the ones I took of Landon for his baptism developed and I'm not very happy with them. They look digital to me.

Speaking of Landon's baptism, my cute friend Jen sent Landon an awesome gift today. She embroidered white lettering on a white towel for him to use after he gets baptized this Saturday. It's a beautiful towel and she included a nice note and a sweet poem about the towel. It is such a nice gift. Thank you so much Jen!


This evening I met my other cute friend Jenn (two n's) at the park so I could take her son Ethan's 2 year old pictures. I basically followed him all over the park as he climbed, jumped, ran and fell. He wears me out quickly. It's hard to focus on someone who never stops moving! I had my camera on the action setting just in case. It's really quite something to see him now that he's 2, because I took pictures of Jenn when she was pregnant with him, pictures of his birth, his first few weeks, his first year and now his 2nd year, my how the time has flown.

**What do you think about sending your
kids out into the world?
Do you have any baptism traditions?
Do you have a lot of friends names Jen?**

Time

I finished listening to The Screwtape Letters this week and must say this is one of my all-time favorite books. I have listened to it before, read it multiple times, and yet still feel enlightened and delighted each time I read or hear something from it. It was written in 1941, yet is fresh and applicable to our lives today. You gotta love that.

As I was listening to it this time I kept thinking, “oooh that’s so good, I‚’ll have to remember to look that up,” the silly thing is I had that thought pretty much the entire time I listened to it. This makes me want to read it again so I can mark up my book properly. I wanted to share my favorite quotes with you, but that would pretty much mean retyping the entire book, so I'm only picking one.

This passage is about time. I have been feeling so busy lately with all the running around I've been doing with my callings, preparing Whitney for school, and especially with soccer. I haven't minded it too much, but I'm definitely feeling stretched thinner than usual (if only that meant I looked thinner too) and am actively trying not to get upset about everything I HAVE to do. This passage from the book is fantastic and is a great reminder to me that my time is not my own.

Note from Amazon.com for those of you not familiar with the premise of the book.

Who among us has never wondered if there might not really be a tempter sitting on our shoulders or dogging our steps? C.S. Lewis dispels all doubts. In The Screwtape Letters, one of his bestselling works, we are made privy to the instructional correspondence between a senior demon, Screwtape, and his wannabe diabolical nephew Wormwood. As mentor, Screwtape coaches Wormwood in the finer points, tempting his "patient" away from God.

"Men are not angered by mere misfortune but by misfortune conceived as injury. And the sense of injury depends on the feeling that a legitimate claim has been denied. The more claims on life, therefore, that your patient can be induced to make, the more often he will feel injured and, as a result, ill-tempered. Now you will have noticed that nothing throws him into a passion so easily as to find a tract of time which he reckoned on having at his own disposal unexpectedly taken from him. It is the unexpected visitor (when he looked forward to a quiet evening), or the friend's talkative wife (turning up when he looked forward to a tete-a-tete with the friend), that throws him out of gear. Now he is not yet so uncharitable or slothful that these small demands on his courtesy are in themselves too much for it. They anger him because he regards his time as his own and feels that it is being stolen. You must therefore zealously guard in his mind the curious assumption "My time is my own." Let him have the feeling that he starts each day as the lawful possessor of 24 hours. Let him feel as a grievous tax that portion of this property which he has to make over to his employers, and as a generous donation that further portion which he allows to religious duties. But what he must never be permitted to doubt is that the total from which these deductions have been made was, in some mysterious sense, his own personal birthright."

"You have here a delicate task. The assumption which you want him to go on making is so absurd that, if once it is questioned, even we cannot find a shred of argument in its defense. The man can neither make, nor retain, one moment of time; it all comes to him by pure gift; he might as well regard the sun and moon as his chattels." Pages 79-80

{Playing Operation as a family was
not my first choice of activities today.}

I feel like I have go back and forth with my issues about time. I love to have free days with no obligations, but I like to busy sometimes too. I don't like feeling like my life is full of obligations, but I do feel like I want to serve others, fulfill my church callings, and take care of my family.

One of the girls in my primary class has missed a lot of church the past few months and I've been wanting to ask her about it, but don't want to put her on the spot. She came today and I told her I'd missed her and was wondering where she'd been. She said that the baby had been sick one week, that they were too tired from a camping trip another week, and that sometimes her parents just want to take a break. I think they're having some "time" issues in their house because I've had conversations with both the parents before where they've indicated that they feel too busy and like something has got to give. It's interesting and sad that church is the thing they're letting go, rather than some of the other activities they participate in. I guess what I'm saying is, their experience has made me think. I feel like I owe the Lord "my" time and want to do the best I can with the jobs He has given me to do, and I can't help thinking how different things would be if everyone felt that way.

**How do you feel about "your" time?
Where do you draw the lines in your schedule?
How do you decide what's most important?**

Happy 30th Elisa!

A Perfect Saturday

I got up at 7:30 this morning to get ready to go to Landon's soccer game. He had practice a half hour before the game, plus I was in charge of the fruit for half-time, so I needed to be organized and ready early. It actually felt great being out and about early (Anyone seeing a pattern with this? Why is it always such an epiphany for me that I like early mornings?) The weather was so nice today it only got up to 76 degrees, so this morning was actually cool and wonderful. I felt like I was trying to soak it all up. Randy and I hung out at the soccer field and read our books while we waited for the game to start, it was highly enjoyable. Landon was a bit more active during this game, but seems concerned about staying in his position more than actually doing something with the ball.

I ran errands after the soccer game and returned home to some good mail. I got another Audio Book "Gap Creek" and 2 new Netflix DVDs, I just love getting this stuff in the mail. What a brilliant idea.

I also got this wonderful package from Michelle. I've never seen any of these items before (except the sponge brushes of course) so it was quite a delight. Thanks Michelle!

Collette stopped by to bring me her copy of Gilead so I could loan it to someone from church for our book club discussion in 10 days. It was nice to sit outside and chat with Collette for a few minutes, we live pretty close to each other but really don't see each other much except for our book club gatherings. We should remedy this.

My brother Adam and his family came over this evening for dinner and games. They brought Whitney home with them. It's so funny that she's been playing with their girls since Thursday night but they still got busy playing some more as soon as they got here. I love it that they get along pretty well (though Megan drives them all crazy), and especially love it that Whitney and Bella are best friends/cousins. They're so cute together. They were playing with the dress-up stuff outside for a long time tonight and I took this picture of them in their gear.


We played Settlers of Catan for the first time in months. I was totally in the mood to play, but Adam conquered as usual so we only played it once. I think I enjoy the building of settlements and cities so much that I don't really strategize a way to win. It's kind of like how I only like playing Monopoly for the first half hour when all the properties are being bought and organized, I don't like it at all once I have to start paying people for landing on their properties. What does this say about me? That I'm not competitive? Or that I'm not competitive if things are really challenging? (Don't answer that.)

The weather today was so fantastically breezy and cool that I actually had all the windows open. I haven't done that since April or May. Amy was actually cold and wore a fleece pullover and had a blanket wrapped around her legs! That's just plain crazy. I guess since she doesn't have any fat on her body she must chill easily. No worries here. I think I could brave 50 degree breezes and still be okay.

**What did you do today?**

Feeling Good

Today I'm feeling good. I don't know if it's one of those rare times when the planets align and my biorhythms are in sync or what, but I'm headache free, I slept great, and it's raining. All is well. It was weird to get up this morning to a quiet house. Landon slept in until 9:00am (which he NEVER does), I think it was because Whitney wasn't snoring in the bed underneath him. (This may be a good reason for looking more seriously into tonsil removal.) I headed straight for the computer and blogged happily for an hour or so.

I talked to Michelle for awhile this morning and we decided against a Creative Friday because of Eva's bowel issues and possible flu situation. I then talked to Amie for a bit and our conversation somehow jogged my memory about needing to go to The Franklin Covey store to get my sister Robyn's mother-in-law (from Australia) her planner refill so I could drop it off with some of her friends who are in town for Education Week at BYU. So Landon and I went to the mall to get the planner refill and to look for suits. Mr. Mac's was too expensive so we ended up talking all of your good advice and went to Burlington Coat Factory. We got a suit and two ties for $72. (That's less than most of the jackets at Mr. Mac's.)

So Landon and I dropped the planner pages off at the hotel, got a Krispy Kreme donut at the drive thru for a special treat, and braved the hellish Wal-Mart in Provo because I needed some supplies for my Activity Day water party this afternoon. I don't know why that Wal-Mart is such a melting pot, but good grief I felt like I'd left the country. I heard some sort of Slavic language, some Caribbean island language, Spanish, and something else I couldn't identify. There were beeping loaders, crying kids, and all manner of chaotic noise contributors. I made it through with only feeling slightly clammy and anxious. I kept thinking "this is Provo right?" Fortunately our stop was brief and the line wasn't long. I wanted to run to the safety of my car and take some cleansing breaths.

The skies were looking cloudy as Landon and I drove home, and by the time we were almost to our freeway exit it had started to hail! Not good when you're supposed to be hosting a water party in an hour. Wouldn't you know it? Don't I wish for cloudy skies and rain almost every day and am always rewarded with sunny skies and irritating heat? Go figure. So I had to scramble to come up with Plan B, so I opened a bag of Starbursts and a bag of dum dum suckers and set out a stack of board games.

The girls decided to play "Life" and had so much fun. I was the banker and we had just enough girls (6) so that everyone could play the game. It ended up being educational really because they had to decide whether to go to college or not, whether to buy car insurance and home owners insurance, whether to borrow money for a house, to pay their debts in a timely manner, and so on. It was fun listening to them.

Our very nice old lady neighbor from across the street brought over a bag of tomatoes yesterday, and then my visiting teacher brought me more tomatoes, 2 cucumbers and a huge zucchini today. Oh dear. I don't have the skills to manage this produce. Help!?

The house is so quiet without Whitney here it's kind of weird. It's not that she's so loud, it's that she has such a colorful presence that just having her gone changes everything. There's just so much of Whitney. It's so nice to have the chance to miss her and appreciate her quirky self. I think that's one of the reasons I love solitude and breaks from the kids. I enjoy missing them.


I got some great mail today. Remember yesterday I said I was insulted by the lame junk mail I got, especially since it was only 1 item of junk mail, not even the usual full load. Do you ever wonder if the post office holds the rest of your mail on those days? Why aren't good things mixed in with that crap? I don't know, but I don't like it.

Today I got a package from Diana, a card from Tasha, a new audio book, a DVD from Netflix and the new Pottery Barn Kids catalogue...now that's what I'm talkin about. I don't have to get a package every day, but even a new Netflix or audio book is better than a mailer from The Mattress Factory. So thanks to Diana and Tasha for their nice mail items and for thinking of me! I really appreciate that, and Twix are delicious.


Randy took Landon to the movies tonight to see "How To Eat Fried Worms." That's not a movie I could even consider watching. Just the preview makes me want to hurl. I'm still not over seeing that funky worm/caterpillar creature in the yard the other day. Gross.

**Thoughts???**