Mother's Day

I just looked at my Mother's Day post from last year and can't believe how lame and brief it was. I must not have been in a very Mother's Day kind of place, but now I can't remember why. I'm happy to say that this year is is better and that I feel like my thoughts on Motherhood (being, having, etc.), are curing with age. This is a great relief to me as I often worry that I have an inability to feel. I read other people's blogs or hear them talk about their kids and wonder what's wrong with me. Why is it that I can clearly see my kids' faults and annoying behaviors? I keep waiting for the unconditional love feature to kick in, but then there are other times when I feel a swell of love and think "Ahh, there it is, I DO have it." I can't decide if this makes life easier or harder for me (surely there are benefits from not worrying and agonizing over my kids all the time right?).


Here are some of my random thoughts on motherhood...

--It is no small thing to experience pregnancy and delivery, so why do we act like it's just a routine part of life's process? I think we should be more like the olden days when life shut down, there was someone to care for the new mother and the baby, and all the women of the community celebrated new life and the mother. Perhaps it's because we're all so busy and especially because there are so many babies being born in Utah that we'd be in a constant celebration, but maybe we should be.

--There is an extreme amount of suffering involved with desiring a child, carrying a child, delivering a child and raising a child. so are we doing our kids a favor by not teaching them this? I know there's something to be said for the innocence of youth and all of that, but wouldn't it have been helpful to have some inkling of what was going to happen before we took the plunge ourselves? Wouldn't this help eliminate some of our martyrish feelings that we keep inside?

{Me and my mom 1972}

--Every mother, no matter how lacking, deserves respect, love and the benefit of the doubt from her children. I am extremely guilty of not doing these things for my mother and have had a harsh tendency to focus on how I wish she had been, but that's not fair and knowing what I know now about life as a mother, wife and daughter means I need to cut her some serious slack. Mom--I am sorry for judging you and for wishing you were something you're not. You are my mother for a reason, and that should be enough.


--We read John Adams by David McCullough for our ward book club last week and I was seriously impressed with Abagail Adams as a mother. Here is a quote from her son (and President of the United States) John Quincy Adams after she died.

"My mother...was a minister of blessing to all human beings within her sphere of action...She had no feelings but of kindness and beneficence. Yet her mind was as firm as her temper was mild and gentle. She...has been to me more than a mother. She has been a spirit from above watching over me for good, and contributing by my mere consciousness of her existence, to the comfort of my life...Never have I known another human being, the perpetual object of whose life, was so unremittingly to do good." page 624

I also love this quote from John Adams himself (it makes me cry)...

"For years afterward, whenever complimented about John Quincy and his role in national life, and the part he had played as father, Adams would say with emphasis, "My son had a mother!" page 626

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
David O. McKay


"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh


"The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent." --Erich Fromm


"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." --Jill Churchill

Happy Mother's Day!

**Thoughts??**