Monday, December 17, 2007

Squats and other Nonsense

I've been pretty good about being consistently gymalicious lately (each step onto the front porch in the cold darkness is a victory), but after this morning I may have to rethink things. I went to the gym as usual, but there was a different girl working there. She is studying to be a personal trainer and is taking that job seriously. Holy Crap! I saw her helping a couple other women with some exercises, but figured they had asked her for help. Little did I know that they were flabby innocents like myself.


The two other women finished up and left so it was just me and my unsolicited personal trainer. She gave me new exercises for each of the cardio stations (in-between the weight machines) and showed me how to make them more effective (aka painful). At one point she had me using a weighted hula hoop (please don't try to visualize this). I never would have subjected myself to public hula hooping on my own, but she said this will work my organs (hello!) and midsection. I definitely need work in these areas so who am I to resist the suggestion? It hurt though. She said I would have bruising, but that I would get used to it.


Good grief, here I thought I was getting stronger and feeling so good, but after a half hour with this woman I was literally seeing stars! I was so light-headed that I had to lie down on the floor with my legs in the air (not pretty) for a couple minutes. She was panicked, got me a water bottle and said, "I'm so sorry, I did this to another woman this morning too." She is afraid I won't want to come back, but if I'm still able to walk on Wednesday I'll be there. No pain no gain right?

**Don't you wish you had an
ugly, blue carpeted front porch too?
Is just getting up and going a victory sometimes?
Have you ever seen stars from a workout?
Have you ever used a weighted hula hoop?**

28 comments:

Unknown said...

i used to have an ugly brown carpeted front porch. what are people thinking when they do that?!?

no pain, no gain! i love that you are keeping your spirits up about this new trainer. i'd probably find some excuse to miss Wednesday. i hope the bruises aren't too bad!

Elizabeth said...

If the exercises work out for you how great to have a pseudo-personal trainer. Someday I would love to have one.
I might have to put my foot down at the weighted hula hoop. Bruises?

Kelly said...

Exciting about your new calling -- I can't believe I guessed it right.

What in the world?? Bruises?! That is simply not right. But, your thoughts on being a flabby innocent and public hula hooping had me giggling. "Don't hug me, I have hula hoop bruising around the mid-section!" Yikes! You are a brave woman to want to go back. I would take it as a sign that I was meant to stay a flabby innocent.

patsy said...

Bruises? I am worried for you Jill This is not good! Oh my goodness- I would NOT go back for a while for sure. You are a brave gal-

carlo said...

oh jill, wow. i hope the bruising is minimal and that you can still walk on wednesday!! seriously? weighted hulie hoops?(ellie's word. so much fun to say)

thank you for the wonderful cards! you are so thoughtful.

Holly said...

YES! Getting up and going is a victory in itself, the whole weighted hula hoop pain is just the cherry on the top! However, bruises? Seriously? Sore muscles are one thing, but...

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

How funny Jill. I loved these lines:

each step onto the front porch in the cold darkness is a victory

Little did I know that they were flabby innocents like myself.

At one point she had me using a weighted hula hoop (please don't try to visualize this).

Thanks for fun reading.

michelle said...

This is hilarious! Your flabby innocents line was claaaasic.

Here I was going along, completely oblivious to the fact that even my organs need work... It's good to keep finding new ways to keep your workouts increasingly difficult as you get stronger, but I don't know that I'm okay with the bruising. I've never heard of a weighted hula hoop. And yes, many many times just getting up and out is a victory -- especially if it involved working out!

bryn said...

good for you. the "going" is ALWAYS a victory, the bruises merely a badge of honor. keep it up!

Liz said...

Wow! A weighted hula hoop! Now that sounds intriguing! I hope you are feeling recovered from all that. Good luck on Wednesday!

Never had a blue carpeted front porch....although we do have a screened in porch and it has one of those large carpet pieces in grey that rolls up. Not my favorite thing either!

Marie said...

I have never heard of a weighted hula hoop. It makes me giggle though.

Lauralee said...

oh that whole post just made me laugh.. you have such a way of writing.. what a trainer.. she had already done that to another lady? that is crazy.. that weighted hula hoop.. I Think I would have laughed to hard to keep it going!

hope you recover soon- and can get back in there on Wed!

Amy said...

Now you know why I use a trainer! I think it's the only way to make sure you're using the machines properly, which usually translates into in pain all the time. You have to break your muscles down before they can be strengthened. Sucks, I know--but that the free advice! I pay $35 for 1/2 an hour with my trainer (when I'm on a training schedule--which I'm not right now!).

crystal said...

Just getting up and going is ALWAYS a victory--are you kidding? That's the hardest part of working out!

Well, except when you see stars when you work out. Then THAT'S the hardest part.

crystal said...

p.s. I think "flabby innocents" would be a great name for a band!

Amy said...

In our last house we had blue porch carpet. But never so cold looking.
I'm so excited for you in your calling. I was in Primary 1st counselor in my last ward and I think it was my all time favorite calling. You'll be fantastic.

The whole gym nazi story is hilarious. I love the feeling of having truly worked my body, but bruises??? And you being the second she had sent to the ground in one morning?!

RoRo2 said...

Sounds like the trainer is a little bit crazy!!!! Never heard of a weighted hula-hoop but why would my organs need a workout like that, they workout by keeping me alive! and anything that causes bruises is not a good thing in my book. Yes, just getting up and going is a total victory.

everything pink! said...

hula - hula on a snowy morning, i have never!

and yes sometimes for me just getting there is the accomplishment!

Anonymous said...

I just spent the last hour getting caught up with you, I know it would be much easier to just stay caught up but I seem unable to do that, one of my hesitations about finally launching my own blog. I'm excited about your new calling, you'll do such a great job. I also enjoyed the 20 questions of Christmas.

Natasha said...

Forget the carpet, I just wish I had a front porch!! ;)

I would not be able to tolerate the weighted hula hoop, no way!!

Amie said...

Stars.... you are cracking me up. Bruises, really?

Getting there is absolutely an accomplishment!

Kathy said...

Hilarious reading, Jill. Hang in there, bruises go away! Can you just p-l-e-a-s-e put all these funny entrys into a real book and get paid for becoming the next Erma Bombeck?

melanie said...

Unsolicited advice at the gym should be illegal. I just get this feeling like they want to transform you, without asking of course. Annoying.

Weighted hula hoop, never heard of it. And I'm pretty sure I could not control it. Maybe if you got bruises you were doing it right? Yikes!

Bond Girl 007 said...

missy you are sooooo funny...remember what I said it is sooooo easy to be complacent in these situations...but hooray for you. I think you will do well. Sometimes it takes a beating to do well and/or to remember to kick butt

Crystalyn said...

the weighted hoola-hoop has me giggling. as far as the personal "trainer" goes...hmmm...i would wait until she actually has that title before letting her give me more bruises. two women light-headed on the floor? i'm most impressed at your sticking-to-itness with they gym. congrats!

j said...

weighted hula hoops?! what the crap?! on second that, with the right group of people, that could be a seriously fun party. :)
getting out o' bed these days is a HUGE victory for me- given the choice, i'd sleep ALL DAY.
good luck with the trainer!

Robyn said...

Oh this is so funny, what the heck was the girl doing? Trying to kill someone? I hope she's not there next time for your sake!

Laurie said...

I've never known about weighted hula hoops. I can't believe the bruising part, really. That's a different kind of pain! I love regular hula hooping.

You're completely right about getting up and out being a victory in and of itself. Cheers!!