It wasn't until the end of the day that some sort of mania came over me. I suggested to Max that we take a few turns on the diving board since this was our last visit to the pool for the season.
My first time down the diving board I did a decent dive, nothing fancy (how fancy can a potato be?), but as Max and I were talking about the back flips we wish we could do I found myself really itching to do a front flip.
I used to do all kinds of tricks off the diving board back in the day, and my body still thinks it can do them. My mind, however, knows I am much heavier than I was back then and that physics now play a more active role in my relationship with the diving board.
But I pressed on, I did a flip which was under rotated and resulted in my ham hock/buttocks area slapping the water painfully, but I was optimistic because I didn't die in the attempt!
My 2nd attempt was great, I got good rotation and was pain free. I think I probably lost points with the imaginary judges for plugging my nose, but so be it, I didn't want to clean out my sinuses in the pool.
Max and I were feeling increasingly confident about our flip prowess and decided to get Michelle to come document them for posterity (which means you). I realize that a girl of my size should not be eager to have photo and video evidence of her rotating corpulence, but my excitement blinded me and I just wanted to have proof that I did it.
Behold...I give you proof!
It wasn't until after Michelle went back to our base camp at the kiddie pool that the real trauma happened. I started thinking I could probably do a back flip. Sure I haven't done one for 20 years, but what the heck, it's like riding a bike right? Oh wait, I haven't done that for 20 years either!
I walked to the end of the diving board and turned around but then panicked and sort of slipped off and did a backward pencil-type entry. It was clearly a mistake, so Max, Landon, Lucas and I laughed (apparently Bella and Whitney witnessed this from a distance as well).
So when it was my turn again I thought I should go back to my proven front flip, no need to be a hero, I wanted to keep my spine in tact. So I did my approach to the end of the diving board and ended up sort of slipping/belly flopping into the water and felt my left Achilles tendon give some sort of rebellion.
I felt it instantly and was praying for it to be nothing serious before I even surfaced from under the water. All I could think was "oh crap, we don't have insurance, I can't be hurt, I can't be hurt, man it really hurts, what have I done, I'm an idiot, what was I thinking, how am I going to get out of the pool, good Hell what an idiot, please don't be hurt, please don't be hurt."
I paddled over to the side of the pool where Max greeted me by saying, "That looked like it hurt!" I asked him which part, and he said, "All of it." Oh dear.
I ended up gingerly making my way over to the shallow end of the pool rather than attempting to use the ladder to get out of the water. Max went over to Michelle and said, "Jill is damaged." So she came over to see if she could help me out. I just sat on the edge of the pool for awhile trying to move my ankle and assess the damage (as if I have any assessing skills!).
She ended up helping me over to a chair, then cleaned up our stuff and pulled my car around so I wouldn't have to hobble down the stairs to the parking lot. It seemed impossible to get out of there at that point so I really thought I might have to live there. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there!
I was able to hobble to the car and drive home (luckily it's my left ankle, not my right), but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to function now. I can get around slowly, but don't see any stretching, dancing, stair climbing, or any normal walking in my near future. What have I done?
**Am I a fun mom or stupid mom?
What you have wanted proof?
Do you plug your nose?
Does your body think it can do things it used to do?
What should I do to fix my ankle?
Do you remember this trauma from last summer?**
32 comments:
Oh, Jill! After such a fun day, full of adventure at the pool, this has to happen? So sorry to hear about that. I'm afriad I have zero advice on how to help your ankle, but I hope that it miraculously heals itself while you sleep tonight.
PS: I think that being a crazy mom is PART OF being a fun mom.
I was so impressed with your front flip prowess, I haven't done one since I was young, then so sorry to find you got hurt. Hope it feels better soon.
I really, really, really want to use "rotating corpulence" in my conversation sometime today.
My husband is pretty good about feeling young and hurting himself, hopefully you'll have his luck and not need to see a doctor.
So glad that Michelle got pictures!
FUN mom all the way, and you've got pics as proof!!
Well you certainly managed to make this incident into an entertaining read! I was cracking up all the way until you were hobbling and wanting to stay at the pool forever. You neglected to mention the part about you feeling faint, though. I was so worried about you driving home!
Proof positive that you are a fun mom. My body has no illusions that it can still do things like that, making me the definitively un-fun mom. If nothing else, the kids will forever remember you participating and having fun with them!
I really really hope that nothing is seriously wrong with your ankle.
wow! and ow!! i hope you are feeling better today. FUN mom for sure... another reminder to me that i need to work LESS and play MORE.
thank you, thank you, thank you for the photos! your recap of the day, accompanied with pictorial proof, is most inspirational :)
So glad you have proof that you are a FUN Mom. It really stinks that you hurt your ankle. I hope it is something that will heal on it's own...so there can be future flips!
I do remember this trauma from last year, but I don't remember if you wrote it as humorously as you did this year! I'm certain the imaginary judges docked you for plugging your nose, but I didn't dock you one bit. I gave you a bonus point for keeping the pool cleaner.
I do hope your ankle heals quickly and isn't too badly "damaged". Have fun convalescing today . . . movies? Bloggging? Good mailing? Reading? So many choices to do with an ailment that won't let you move.
I forgot to say thank you for giving us a picture. Now that is a keeper.
I LOVE IT!
(except for the owies...)
YOu totally win fun mom for sure!!!
If that ankle is bad today you must go to instacare- seriously. You could do more damage not going. Sorry to say- but remember I broke my ankle last year. At least YOU have a GREAT story to go along with it!
I loved every bit of this post. I wish I could be ruled by such physical spontaneity, but I'm pretty much a wimp. I'm sure your kids loved every bit of it!
you are a totally fun mom! that was so fun to read... and see the "proof"
the "Jill is damaged" comment cracks.me.up!
hope your ankle gets better soon..
ice it?
Can you be both?
I really, really hope your ankle gets better with a little rest!! Did you have to get kids off this morning while hobbling?! Oh dear. Rest it well!!
That Max is a funny guy- smart funny, like his mom. Glad she was there to help!
Oh heavens! I hope you feel better soon. Lots of ice and resting your foot might hopefully be the ticket. And I definitely say you are a fun mom for trying out your skills.
I vote for fun mom, but mostly I'm just hoping your are recuperating quickly!
Best line ever: "physics now play a more active role in my relationship with the diving board."
This is glorious. I love it when moms do crazy ridiculous things for their kids and also bc we still feel young. Your kids will totally remember this forever and love you for it. I hope you recover quickly too--how's the ankle today? Swollen and bruised? Do you have a brace and lots of Ibuprofen? Report back soon. The pictures are priceless!
Sorry about the injury but I am AMAZED at your bravery! Way to go!
You are a fun mom! Fun to beat the band! I'd stay off it, take ibuprophen, ice it or heat it, whichever feels better, call Jenny and have her ask Doug. He will know exactally what to do. Seriously, he won't mind a bit.
Jill, if I ever wondered a bit (and I didn't) this confirms that YOU ROCK!
OUch...sorry about the mishap! But man, do you ever get the fun mom prize for this one!
It was great to see actual documentation of some of your moves! :) I love it!
I ALWAYS plug my nose...I don't know how people jump into a pool without doing it!
Hang in there with healing, my friend...
Definitely fun mom. I'm so sorry you got hurt but enjoyed your humor about the situation.
Ouch about your ankle! I totally understand the not havin insurance. At the very least, ice it. Have Randy go to the store, and look for some type of wrap in the first aid department. Think ugly brown elastic band type wrap. Wrap your in ankle in the criss-cross fashion that involves crossing under the arch of your foot near the heel. Not sure how to explain that better, so hopefully you have an idea. Take soem ibuprofen to keep the swelling down. This will alleviate some pain, but also help your ankle heal. Stay off your foot for a few days. Not kidding about this. If somebody you know has some crutches that they could loan you, take advantage of that. You really need to not put any weight on it for at least a few days. Hopefully it'll start feeling better. Foregoing a visit to the clinic, this is probably the best you can do.
Jill! You poor thing! I hope your ankle/achilles is feeling better by now! At least you can console yourself with the knowledge that you probably will go down in the childrens' memory as the coolest mom. I would never even attempt a flip off the diving board--ever. Of course I can't dive. Anyway, I'm so far from a cool mom compared to you.
Man are you ok?! I was so impressed reading how adventurous you were. I often think of the old days when I see a diving board but I am not as courageous as you! I hope that you can walk. Please tell me you iced it and kept it elevated all night. I hope you're not walking on it too much. Sometimes fun requires sacrifice I guess...
Sorry you got hurt, but you are a FUN mom!!! You made a memory for your kids today. Can't you just hear them in 20 years..."remember the time when mom showed us how she could do flips off the diving board?"
A word of advice - never, never, never prove to your kids that you can do a cartwheel. I showed mine a couple of years ago and thought I had broken both of my wrists!
missy i hope it was just a strain and that it will be back to normal in no time.
hooooooooorrrraaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy for you, it is when we stop doing things like this, that make us old and unflexible.
You absolutely are the fun mom...just a little "damaged" right now.
Ice your ankle and try to keep it elevated.
You are kinda my hero with this post...that flip :)
Oh no!! That sounds absolutely horrible! I've never been able to dive, but I am a clumsy walker on the whole and have twisted my ankle more than once. I hope you start to feeling better real soon!
Yeah, that is flipping awesome. I think you should frame those photos and be darn proud about it. Rock on!
fun mom
i could never in a million years done anything like that.
awesome
i look forward to reading more to see how the ankle is doing.
fun mom
i could never in a million years done anything like that.
awesome
i look forward to reading more to see how the ankle is doing.
I was going to say the same thing as Kristi. I would never in a million years jump off a diving board ... let alone do flips off one. You are fun and brave, and I'm sure your kids will have such fun memories of that.
I'm really traumatized by your ankle, and I know I said this above, but I really hope it's healing quickly!
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