Emotional Mess

I'm not sure if it's because of the anesthesia, the pain pills, the stress of the pain from the last week or what, but I'm officially a wreck. I haven't cried this much in years! I never cry really, even when it would be appropriate or helpful, I just can't squeeze out a tear and yet now I have absolutely no control and seem to be sobbing over nothing. It's a nuisance. I suppose it's a good release and perhaps more accurately indicates my true feelings, but I feel like I'm no longer myself.


I've been struggling a bit with my expectations of family and the humiliation of having to ask for help. I guess I'm usually the one offering to help other people and am not really keen on being on this side of things, especially since I feel like I need so much right now. I've been particularly touched and grateful for the goodness that has come my way in the past couple of days, it has helped take the edge off my raw emotions.

Natasha sent me these darling, colorful personalized cards . What a delight. Thanks Natasha! (Her daughter Luci sent some cute ones to Whitney as well.)

Elizabeth sent me this beautiful card congratulating me on catching the travel bug. I love the word possibility and love the images of the globe and the books. Thanks Elizabeth!

Anna sent me this thoughtful package yesterday, with a sweet note thanking me for hosting the Sistas' breakfast. She also sent some handmade holiday magnets, cute ribbon, and some chipboard letters with my initials. I love it all. Thanks Anna!

Cute Hannah showed up at my door with this nice basket full of soft foods for me to eat while recovering from having my surgery. She is always so thoughtful and this visit was particularly touching. I was in tears while trying to thank her and just felt like such a schmuck because she just had a baby, has her own health problems going on yet was still at my house taking care of me! Thanks Hannah.

This is a close-up of the basket of soft goodies Hannah brought me. There's pudding, jello, Popsicles, Gatorade and a nice little note. Thanks so much Hannah! I'm such a sucker for cute things in a basket, why is that?

Jana went to Barnes & Noble to pick us each up a copy of our book club book (which has to be finished in 5 days) and delivered it to my house with this tasty strawberry slushy drink from Sonic. We both thought we had already bought a copy of it (early onset senility perhaps) so were quite panicked when we realized we didn't have it yet. Thanks Jana!

Amie has been so helpful with my wisdom-teeth issues this week and has shuttled my kids, had them over to her house, has listened to me complain and moan A LOT, and then today brought me 2 pints of KFC potatoes and gravy and a chocolate shake (which was in the fridge, I didn't even realize she'd gotten me that until much later) and hung out and visited for awhile too. Thanks Amie!!


My visiting teaching partner and co-primary teacher Lori brought over this pizza, soda and pie within an hour of talking to me and finding out that I was recovering from my wisdom-teeth surgery. She's got her own crap going on and is even teaching for me tomorrow, but still went out of her way to get these things and bring them over. So nice! Her visit and delivery were so unexpected and I was in tears yet again as she hugged me and told me she loved me. It makes me want to do better at taking care of others.

I've also gotten some quality therapy from concerned friends like Kristi, Michelle and Collette on the phone from far away. It has definitely helped me not to feel so alone or out of sorts.

**How do you handle times like this?
Do you have to ask for help or do people just step in?
Do little gifts and acts of service help you
feel loved the way they help me?
Am I crazy?**

Chipmunk Cheeks

I made it through and am now 4 teeth lighter! Hooray, what an ordeal, and to think that last week at this time I had no idea these pesky teeth were going to take over my life (or my blog...the opposite of riveting).

This is a foxy photo of me in the chair waiting for things to get underway. I hadn't felt very anxious until I was sitting there looking at the instruments in the room (I'm prone to passing out) and wasn't feeling too keen on any of that. I actually said to Randy "I wish I could sleep through this part." My wish was soon granted.

Here's my lovely panoramic x-ray taken by my dentist. I had to call her office at 4:00 on Tuesday to see if I could have a copy of it to take to the surgeon's office. Her husband answered and said they were just getting ready to leave for the day but he would set it outside for me (very nice). When I told him my name he said "Oh, yours is the blog my sister reads all the time." (How funny is that?) I pretty much broke down and began telling him what a wreck I was and how much it hurt and he said "Yeah, she told us, is there anything we can do?" That was mighty nice and kind of funny, especially because his sister *Natalie* doesn't comment very often so I didn't think she read anymore (come out, come out wherever you are). I felt like a celebrity, but different.

Apparently the surgery went great. Once they hooked me up to the I.V. I was OUT! When I started to wake up I could hear them talking and didn't realize they were already done. (What a relief!) I had a hard time waking up and felt super groggy and kind of silly. Randy kept laughing at me (he really should add to this post because his perspective would probably be more accurate and hilarious). This is a picture he took of me in the car on the way home, my chipmunk cheeks were already in bloom.

Here's another foxy photo of me on the bed when I first got home. I was so out of it. I slept for a couple of hours while Randy ran around picking up my prescriptions for me. He took very good care of me and made sure I didn't get out of bed or do anything foolish. I got up around 9:00pm and felt good enough to eat some mashed potatoes (gotta love KFC) and watch some tv. I'm still up and it's 2:12am right now. I'm feeling strangely good.


Fortunately Amie came had picked up the kids today at 2:00pm and shuttled them out to freakin Eagle Mountain so they could stay at my parents' house overnight and for tomorrow. This was tremendously helpful. The house was pretty clean when they left and now it will stay that way (that's good for my mental health, especially under these circumstances). It will be nice to be able to rest and have the house clean and quiet tomorrow (no neighbor kids) so I can deal with my chipmunk cheeks, any pain that comes my way, and my pressing need to rest at odd hours. Now if only they could stay gone until next week...

By the way, thanks for all the support and comments. Tasha even called to check on me and wish me well today, that was super nice. She's going in to be induced at 7:00am Eastern Time, how exciting, what was she doing thinking of me?!