Peppermint Place

We have just returned from the preschool field trip to The Peppermint Place candy factory. It went smoothly and quickly (about an hour and a half). Whitney's teacher is also our Relief Society President and she's the most energetic, thinnest, cutest 50 something woman I know. She rode with us so it was fun to talk to her all the way there and back.

In other news, I'm almost done with tonight's book club selection and am feeling motivated and normal again. (I shouldn't have posted last night when I was feeling so overwhelmed, because now I feel fine and kind of silly about all of that.) I'm not usually a worrier at all so it was a strange feeling to be concerned about the surgery and everything else this week. It's all doable and today I am at peace.

In another turn of events I am hosting book club tonight. This is a welcomed change because I never host it anymore (it's been almost 2 years) now that we go to Collette's. Don't get me wrong, it's a treat to go to her house and to be kid-free and to lounge on her very comfy book club-sized couch. I'm just enjoying this rare opportunity to have everyone over here.

**How is your week going? Is life crazy, boring, or just normal?**

Cluttered Life

Today has been a wasted day. I thought it started out well enough, but I let it get away from me and have actually wasted it. Yes, I did a load of laundry, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and talked to Michelle, Jenn, and Amie on the phone today but other than that I have nothing to show for it (no insult intended about the phone calls). What I mean is, that I am in such a muddle about Whitney's surgery (it's kind of freaking me out a bit, they're her eyes after all), that I'm not doing the other things I need to do (i.e., reading my book club book). I am reminded of a passage from Gift From The Sea (which I finished last night).

"My life in Connecticut, I begin to realize, lacks this quality of significance and therefore of beauty, because there is so little empty space. The space is scribbled on; the time has been filled. There are so few empty pages in my engagement pad, or empty hours in the day, or empty rooms in my life in which to stand alone and find myself. Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. We can have a surfeit of treasures--an excess of shells, where one or two would be significant." (page 115)

I may be feeling like this because the surgery this week is a "have to" and driving tomorrow for Whitney's field trip is also a "have to" because I said I would (last week before I realized how this week would be). Also, the Enrichment book club isn't stressful, but it does take energy and effort, and the invitations I have to make for another enrichment activity have to be done in a week, plus there will be a meeting to plan that event (and the overzealous leader wants us to do a skit! That's way out of my comfort zone.) Plus I have multiple family birthdays, friend birthdays and things to do. I want to do all of these things, and I want to do them thoughtfully and well. (That's probably why they're stressful to me.) So I'm starting to feel crushed by the weight of it--even though I am chosing most of these things. (Not to mention the obvious, which is that I'm taking time to blog multiple times a day. I see this as therapy and reaching out so I don't begrudge it, but it's still time spent.)

**Is this my problem because I'm not setting boundaries or choosing events wisely or is this something all women do?**

My Week

So I've been sitting here next to Landon while he does his school work for the day, and I decided to write a list of things I have to do this week because I'm feeling like I can't keep track of it all. My weeks usually aren't too crazy--mostly normal life stuff (laundry, cleaning, preschool, homeschool, reading, talking, etc.) but this week I have some deadlines so I'm feeling committed and a little anxious. (I don't usually have a surgery on the schedule.)

I have barely started reading Patty Jane's House of Curl (remember last month when I said I wouldn't leave it to the last minute again? I lied.) I had planned on starting the book this weekend, but ended up reading Gift From the Sea instead so that I would have time to loan it to someone else in my ward. It was quick reading, but still limited my reading time last night so my time-management skills are lacking right now.

So today, I have to register Whitney for kindergarten at the public school down the street (We think she needs the social aspects of kindergarten, and I really want her to learn how to read before I even consider homeschooling her.) But after that I'll be reading in-between loads of laundry, dishwasher emptying, and childcare. Sheesh, I'm tired already.

**Do you make lists for your week, use a planner, or just go with the flow?**

News from my notebook

Church was so good today (again), and it was cool the way all 3 meetings echoed each other with their topics. The meetings were mainly about being spiritually prepared to meet trials in our lives. I'd been thinking about this all week because when my visiting teacher came the other day she said something about a conversation with her husband about Joseph's (of Egypt) dream about 7 years of abundance and 7 years of famine. I was instantly panicked when she said this and felt that fear and dread I get when the topic of food storage and emergency preparedness comes up (which it does often), but then she said they were talking about a spiritual famine and how we prepare for that. It's silly because I felt relieved (as if being starved spiritually is easier than earthquakes and floods), but somehow it seemed less terrifying to me. I don't know if that means that I'm prepared, but I do feel like I have a strong desire to be spiritually prepared and that I am taking action to make that happen.

So some of today's church highlights regarding spiritual preparedness are:

1. When the time to perform arrives, the time to prepare has passed.
2. Every day we stand up for who we are as we represent Christ through our behavior.
3. When we prepare spiritually the Lord will help us the rest of the way. (This was particularly comforting to me as the thought of answering my kids' questions frightens me sometimes.)

4.What is the greatest calamity that could happen in our lives? (For me that would be if Randy and I lost our kids to the world, if they pursued a dark path in life and forgot why they are here in the first place.) So a follow-up to that question is, what are we doing to prepare ourselves against that calamity?

5.Do our actions take us closer to our goals or do we keep doing what we've always done and end up sliding backwards?

6. Am I doing better than I was 5 years ago? (Church attendance, Temple attendance, Fulfilling callings, reading scriptures, saying prayers, etc.)

7. Knowledge is not enough, we must apply that knowledge if we are to truly succeed in life.

8. Trials in life are for our benefit. They are the way we prove ourselves faithful to the Lord. He already knows what we will do, but the trial allows us to see what we will do.

9. For anything to be a test there has to be a sense of irony or unfairness.

10. Henry B. Eyrings Octoboer 2005 Conference Talk "Spiritual Preparedness, Start Early and Be Steady" (This is where the Relief Society lesson came from today, if you haven't read it do so, it's definitely worth the time.)

11. Start early means = as soon as you hear the command.

12. If we could truly grasp the idea of a being a daughter of God we would want to live in a way that wouldn't make our Heavenly parents ashamed of us.

13. Satan is a liar, he is quick to jump in and confirm our negative thoughts and fears, he wants us to fail. (I know this, but forget this, it would be nice to remember that when I'm spiralling down some path of negative thinking. It helps to pull out of that if we know the source from which it comes.)

14. If you are discouraged go to the temple to do initiatories, they will help you remember who you really are and the blessings you are entitled to receive.

15. Great faith has a short shelf life, it must be replenished often.

16. Tithing is a form of gratitude. We are acknowledging the Lord's hand in all things. Everything we have comes from Him, so to give 10% is a small price to pay.

I hope these thoughts weren't too overwhelming. I couldn't edit them down much because they were all so good. Plus, this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal so I don't want to leave too much out of it. I hope your Sunday experiences were good too. I love to read what you all write, and think we're lucky to have a forum like this to share our insights and struggles.

**Which of these thoughts hits home with you?**

Insights Galore

I just have to write to exclaim my surprise and delight with this book. This is the first selection for our Enrichment Book Club at church. I knew nothing about it and know that it's something I wouldn't have been drawn to otherwise, so imagine my surprise to find that I'm highlighting almost every page. It's remarkable. I can't get over the fact that it was published 50 years ago, because her insights are so applicable to today. It's only a 138 page book, but she packs a whole lot of goodness into those pages. Here is an interesting passage...

"The problem is not merely one of Woman and Career, Woman and the Home, Woman and Independence. It is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to the hub of the wheel.

What is the answer? There is no easy answer, no complete answer. I have only clues, shells from the sea. The bare beauty of the channelled whelk tells me that one answer, and perhaps a first step, is in simplification of life, in cutting out some fo the distractions." (page 29 and 30)

This is just a tiny snippet of her writing, but it sounds current doesn't it? Imagine that back in 1955 when it was first published. Apparently the world changes, but the craziness of our lives does not--it's just relative. Hmm. It makes me think I have done a disservice to people in the past by thinking that things were simpler back then (choices mainly, not the work). That's most likely an indication of my immaturity and lack of understanding, so hopefully this book will help remedy that.

**Do you have any thoughts about simplifying your life?**

Spring

Today feels like spring! It's gorgeous, it's 50 degrees, and the tulips are poking out of the ground, and some of the trees have buds on them. I love it! I'm always amazed at how each season takes me by surprise. It's so silly, but I feel like that with every season. They all have their pros and cons, and ultimately I love fall and spring the best, but I'm thinking how amusing it is (to me at least) that I feel so child-like in my amazement each time the seasons change. Today I feel like skipping (but I won't because I don't want to frighten others). We've got the windows open, music playing (Colin Hay of course), and we're cleaning. It's delightful.

This morning I went to a visiting teaching conference at the church. It was a breakfast and we had a speaker. It was the perfect amount of time and was really a good meeting. There were about 40 women there, and I found myself sitting there thinking about the other 60 women in our ward who weren't there. I know it's Saturday, I know some people are sick or have sick kids, and that everyone is busy and tired and doesn't want to get up and get ready for an early Saturday church function, but I think that's a big mistake. I've talked myself out of meetings like that before because I've felt justified in how crazy my week was or how tired I felt, but it occured to me today that we're just cheating ourselves when we skip those things. It was so nice to be there with all those women. We have a lot of older women in our ward and they are so sweet, so friendly, and so welcoming. They hug you when they meet you and just beam as they talk to you. It's remarkable. It made me think that as younger women we are foolish to let our insecurities or prejudices guide our behavior. Why not be glad to see everyone? (even people we don't know), why not hug them? (I'm not really one to initiate hugs, but still), why not introduce ourselves to everyone?, even if they should already know who we are? I sometimes look forward to getting older because I want to be wise, and I desperately want to shed my insecurities and just love everybody (I have a long way to go). Meetings like this one today just reminded me of these things.

The lady who spoke was talking about visiting teaching and how it's a gift to be a woman. She said that the average man says only 3000 words a day, but that the average woman says 23,000! She said, "we know how to visit" and that we have the spirit of compassion. These things are gifts and we need to use them. I totally agree with her and felt so inspired and grateful to be a woman who has the opportunity and ability to reach out and to lift others.

**What do you think?**

P.S. This is a photo I took of a bush in our backyard last spring. This spring hasn't sprung that far yet, but I needed a photo for today.

{Happy 30th Birthday Amy!!}

Book Orders

Eagle Mountain Amie brought over the book order forms yesterday so they're on my mind. It's so nice that even though we home school we can still do this (thanks Amie). She was in charge of the book orders at the school the kids went to last year, so after some communicating with the Scholastic people she was able to continue doing the book orders for us. It's such a delight every month to pour over the listings. If it were up to me we'd be over $100 every month, but we usually stick to $25. I'm always telling the kids how lucky they are to be surrounded by books at home (plus we go to the library weekly). I'm sure they don't understand why they're lucky, but at least I do. Book Club Amy posted yesterday about the importance of reading, especially having your kids see you read. That makes me feel like at least I'm doing one thing right.

"The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination."
--Elizabeth Hardwick

**When did you discover your passion for reading? If you don't have one, why do you think that is?**

{Happy 35th Birthday to Betsy!! You are getting so old--ha.}

Good stuff from Jenn

It has only been 9 days since Jenn surprised me with the wonderful Valentine box of Krispy Kremes, and now she gives me these things. I had two of her kids here to play today for a couple hours and she brought me lunch from Cafe Rio as thanks! It wasn't necessary, but it was so greatly appreciated. I snarfed it down happily and loved it (thank you so much Jenn). Then an hour or so later I went to get the mail and had not one, but two cute, homemade thank you cards from her. How about that? I love days like this (not that I have many), and love that I can share the joy with all of you.

**What's your favorite menu item from Cafe Rio? Or if you don't have that restaurant, your favorite Mexican meal?**

Interesting

I was just checking my hotmail, so when I finished it went back to the MSN home page and this line about real life vignettes caught my eye so I clicked on it. It turns out it's run by VISA and it's all these real life short video clips of random things, then it has a tag line like Real Life Takes Trust, or Real Life Takes Strategy. I watched about 10 of them, but it looks like there are tons. It's kind of a cool concept and I like things like that that humanize people and give regular life moments credibility. If you check it out, let me know what you think.

Just bloggin

This is a weak post, but I have a few things to say.

1. My sister Robyn had her sweet baby girl and I was too technically challenged to post the photos so if you're interested go to Lori's blog.

2. My sister-in-law Amy Maher is sort of back online and is in the middle of a major life adjustment with their move and because she turns 30 on Saturday. (At least she can blog about it, that's therapeutic right?)

3. My fun friend Claudia just started a blog last week. I met her 11 years ago working at Franklin Covey (back then it was Covey Leadership). She's one of the most interesting people I've ever met. She grew up in Mexico but has travelled all over the world. She speaks Spanish, English, French and Italian (possibly more that I don't know of). She is thoughtful, funny, insightful, and smart so I always like to hear what she has to say. (Long story short, you might want to check out her blog and comment if you do.)

4. I'm unclear as to why some posts get lots of comments (i.e., Valentine's Day, Bella's vomit story, cleaning product confessional), but others do not. I realize we don't always have a lot to say about things, but does that mean there's absolutely nothing to say? Just wondering/complaining.

5. Michelle's most recent post was highly disturbing for me and I'm wondering how it will be for you. If you check it out make sure you comment on hers so we can see if I'm in the minority or not. (If you haven't read it yet, then this is quite a mystery to you no?)

6. Does anyone else feel that during their days there is a swirling vortex of time that is largely unaccounted for? Perhaps it's just me, but even when I'm up and ready very early in the morning (like I was today) I still feel like I have little to show for it or perhaps the same amount that I do even when I sleep in, so I'm wondering what happened to me between 10:30 and 2:30 today because it's gone.

7. I spotted the first 3 inches of tulip and crocus leaves poking out of the ground today!

That's about it. Hopefully no one will respond at all and I can just send this out into a sort of cyber abyss. (That's sarcasm people.)

The beauty of clothespins

That's right, clothespins. They're a beautiful thing, so helpful, such great design, so versatile, and so cheap. I have a fondness for them, and have them all over the house. My mom turned me onto these. She uses them to close bags of chips, cereal, bread, etc. they're the best thing for that. You can get a bag of 100 for like $2. I'm not kidding about their greatness. I don't know about you, but stale cereal is the worst. If you use clothespins you won't have that problem ever again. We have them on every bag of food in our house. I especially like them on the loaves of bread because those little twist-tie things are a pain.

Another use in our house is for creative play by Whitney. She swipes the clothespins constantly and takes them apart to invent things. She's made boats and all sorts of contraptions, I take pictures of some of her crazy set-ups because I'm always so impressed with the randomness and creativity of it. Here are a few examples.










**What's your favorite helpful household item?**

Saying "Thank You"

I was at Michelle's again today to watch Eva and also so I was close to the doctor for Whitney's 2nd eye doctor's appointment (this one went much better, no bad vibes, the bow tie was undone, and his pants and shirt matched, and he wasn't condescending), so she's supposed to have surgery in a few weeks. I finished making Betsy's birthday present and am so excited about it (though I can't share it until next week). It's such a relief when something turns out well enough not to be discouraged, and it's a huge bonus when I actually love it. Woohoo.

Anyway, when I got home, the mail today was good for me because I got a darling thank you post card from Kristi, and a cute hand-stamped thank you from Collette. (Perhaps the benefit of having no mail yesterday is double good mail today!). Anyway, thanks to both of them for their kind words and thoughtfulness. I enjoy writing and sending thank you notes, but tend to want to make them really creative and often let a long time lapse. It hangs over me and makes me want to call the "thankees" to say "yes, it's coming, but you know how I work and the idea hasn't been formulated or designed yet, and then you know it will take me a least a day to put them together and then another day to compose my message and get it in the mail" is that so wrong? Yes. I think one of my goals for this year (starting now) is to be more prompt with my thank you notes (this can go on my list of intentions which will be turned into art at some point).

**How do you feel about thank you notes?**

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

These are the words to my favorite Colin Hay song. I know I keep mentioning it, but I'm seriously in love with this cd. I like all the songs, but this is my favorite. You know how when you listen to a song, you can hear it a million times and then one day you hear the words clearly? Well that's happening to me over and over and I finally got it with this song. It's fantastic. (Apparently this is my real life.)

**What songs resonate with you?**

Great Day!

I hope you all had a good President's Day. I had a great day (except that I hate it when the mail doesn't come) working at Michelle's. We were so productive. I can't say specifically what I was working on because they are for a couple birthday-blog readers of mine, but I feel good about what I got done, and that's a rarity for me. Today was nice and mellow because Whitney stayed home with Randy (he didn't have to work, and was in lounging mode) and Max had gone to the movies with a friend, so it was just Landon and Lucas playing Game Cube all day and then sweet Eva. I love this girl! She is so cute, sweet, funny, smart, etc. I have to get a weekly (or more) dose of her or I get twitchy. I got a good dose today so that should hold me (at least until tomorrow when I go back to watch her while Michelle takes Lucas to the dentist). Good times.

**What in the world did you do today?**

Monday with Michelle

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
~Arnold H. Glasgow

I usually go to Michelle's house on Fridays, but we didn't get to do that last week so we're going today all day (what with the holiday and all). I'm psyched, I have several birthdays this week (Betsy, Amy, Roger) and have stuff in the works for them. It's so nice to have someone to be creative with. We bounce ideas off each other, fill in the gaps, have the supplies the other one is missing, and basically share the passion for creating things so even if we said nothing we'd be happy (though we actually say much). We also love a lot of the same music and have that playing the whole day (along with the sometimes obnoxious kid noises, but what can we do?) so it's like we have our own soundtrack or something. I will be bringing her a Colin Hay cd today so I can share the goodness. I was listening to it again yesterday and Landon said, "I like this song, I guess after 3 days you get used to it." Ha, I've converted the kids, hooray!

The photo above is a picture of Michelle's table about 3 weeks ago when she was making those gorgeous shadow boxes for Eva's room and I was making a set of cards for Kristi. I love how crazy the table gets because it's all stuff we love (including the bag of chips from Los Hermanos at the bottom). Surprisingly our usual stash of chocolate seems to be missing from the middle of the table (perhaps we'd eaten it all already).

**Who fills in the gaps for you?**

No Doubt About It

I'm home from church today with Whitney who isn't feeling good at all. It's always a shock to me when she's under the weather because instead of the twirling bundle of energy who never stops talking I have a mellow girl who lies on the couch. This is a nice contrast sometimes, but it's sad too. So for my spiritual nourishment today I grabbed No Doubt About It by Sheri Dew off my book shelf. (Remember, I'd gotten it from the library to take to my ill-attended ward bookclub 11 days ago but thought I'd give it a whirl.) It's kind of silly that I haven't read any of her books before because I like her so much. So just reading for a half hour I have tons of great thoughts and quotes already (I'm going to have to buy this book). But here is the one I decided to share today.

"It is in moments of disappointment, heartache, and loneliness that we often make the decisions that forge our faith, mold our character, and fortify our convictions about the only source of strength and solace that satisfies. And that is Jesus Christ. How do we know if we are honest, unless our honesty is put to the test? How do we know if we are filled with virtue, unless there are opportunities to choose a nonvirtuous path that we then resist? How do we know if we can bear up under challenge and trial, unless we have challenge and trial? And how can we expect to feel and taste the pure sweetness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, meaning specifically the power and peace of the atonement of Jesus Christ, unless there are times in our lives when we desperately need and seek that peace and power?" (page 11)

She has a way doesn't she? It all seems so logical when you put it that way. I know these things already and yet I get distracted by the world so easily. I will read the rest of the book and let you know what I think.

**What do you think about this quote?**

Carrots and Toast

After a long 42 hours of crazy cousins and childcare everyone was ready to go back to their lives. Poor Megan went to the front door this morning saying, "mommy?" and Tess (a.k.a. Teth) said she was "ready to go to her new houth." I was ready too, I was so tired, the house was so messy, and the fun of playing together had almost worn off. So I headed up to Salt Lake with the girls around 1:00. Adam and Amy wanted to meet for lunch so we went to The Training Table (pictured left). Tess had fallen asleep in the car, Megan was pretty mellow (though she dropped her binky and thought if she reminded me enough I'd be able to find it while driving), and Bella was super quiet in the car. (I figured they'd had the life sucked out of them just like I'd had done to me.)

So we found a place to sit (it wasn't crowded) and ordered lunch, then Adam and Amy and I were talking about the past couple days and catching up on things. Within 10 minutes or so Adam went to pick up the food, Amy went to the bathroom to wash her hands, so I sat with the girls (Bella just to my right). Adam came back with the food and we had just taken everything off the tray and placed them in front of everyone when Bella makes a coughing sound and spews all over the place! It was surreal, like it was happening in slow motion. Adam held up one of the laminated menus to shield the food from the vomit, but that just sent it back down onto Bella's pants and all over the floor. She was crying, Tess was standing there covering her ears, and Megan started crying too. Meanwhile, Amy was walking back from the bathroom totally unaware that anything had happened; except that everyone else in the restaurant was looking at the scene we created. Adam and I both started laughing as we surveyed the vast radius of Bella's projectiles. Adam and Amy grabbed her and took her outside, (leaving a trail of chunks), while I tried to clean up as best as I could using napkins and a vacant tray. Eventually an employee (poor guy) came to help clean it up, then another guy came to watch/help clean it up. He said, "what did she eat?" I said, "carrots and toast." Both guys were like, "ahhhh gross." By this time Adam and Amy had brushed off Bella and gotten her in their car to go home. Adam came back in so we moved down a couple tables and tried to eat the food that hadn't been contaminated. We were laughing so hard. We both had orange stains on our clothes, Tess had some residual spray on the side of her face, and the guys cleaning up the mess just kept talking about it. Adam and I were in tears laughing as we listened to them saying, "Dude, it's everywhere" and "What is that? Dude it's carrots and toast." The funniest part was when yet another guy came to help clean up and said, "what's with all the carrots?" and the other guys said, "a little girl spewed" then the first guy said, "you mean this is vomit?!" Perhaps you had to be there, but it was so funny. I couldn't really eat much after that, and Megan and Tess were bouncing off the walls by then so we finally left. Poor Amy hadn't even had a bite of her Turkey sandwich yet so we took it home to her. It was a hilarious and crazy end to a chaotic 42 hours.

It had started snowing by the time I left their house and was bad enough that the freeway was down to 35 mph. I was white-knuckling it big time and was just grateful that it wasn't dark outside. I finally made it home but was so wasted by then and had a killer headache so I took a shower (vomit removal) and went to bed until 8:45 tonight. I'm still weary, but have a little distance from the situation and the ibuprofen is working. Good times.

Comfort

Well good morning--how was your sleep? I've been up since 6:15 with Megan (nothing like Blue's Clues on a Saturday morning). I fear my sleep stages got messed up last night because I was up at 3:33am for a binky replacement moment and bathroom break, and then brought Megan to bed with us at 6:15 hoping she'd go back to sleep. She led me to believe she would by being quiet for 2 or 3 minutes but then she started thrashing in the way babies do where they kick and squirm and seem to take over the entire bed. I got the message, so early morning cartoons bundled up on the couch seemed like the next best option. I got her all cozy with pillows, blankets, her binky, her soft blankie and stuffed animal so that kept her quiet for a half hour but then she was UP for the day (and 20 minutes later so were the rest of the kids).

So I'm pretty tired today and I'm fearing that Megan's patience with being here is wearing thin. She's asking for "mommy" in such a pathetic way that I don't think even a toy-filled day with cousins will placate her--we'll see. She's walking around carrying her soft, pink stuffed kitty and really working her binky so today my question is...

**What are your comfort items for sleep or just reassurance?**

Productive

Hey Friends, thanks for all the well wishes. I really wish I had a digital camera so I could really show the mess that's going on here, but the pictures I've posted of the girls playing are pretty accurate, just not what they're wearing today (jammies still). Megan took a 3 hour nap!!! So that was fantastic. I have been in my scrapbook room scanning hundreds of photos and have put like 8 new galleries on my smugmug site (mostly family birthdays nothing too exciting for nonfamily to see), but I'm so excited to be getting this done. I'm loving my scanner and feel so stupid that I didn't even think (until Michelle mentioned something yesterday) about scanning more than one photo at a time--duh. So now I'm scanning 3 at a time and it's going so fast. My only complaint is that the chair I sit on is hurting my butt, so it's only a minor complaint. Let's hope the kid cooperation continues and my productivity as well. I hope your days are going great as well.

Update

Things are going surpringly well. Megan just went down (without incident) for a nap--woohoo. She's done well this morning except that she's been harassing the girls a bit, had a poopy diaper (I haven't had to change diapers for 2 years), colored on the walls, and has made some serious messes. I vacuumed the messes and the girls cleaned the walls before I even saw the coloring (gotta love washable markers). So other than a mess the likes of which my house has never seen before, we're doing great! I'm not even twitching about the mess because I'm so happy that the girls are playing well together I'm just accepting it for now. It's also allowing me time to scan photos and update my photo galleries (I love doing that). Randy took off work half-day because this morning we thought he was going to have to take Whitney to the doctor for her stinging rash, but she's doing okay now so he went up to Salt Lake to help Adam and Amy some more (he's a good guy for sure). I think we'll end up keeping the girls until tomorrow evening if they continue to do so well. I'm amazed and thankful that I'm not feeling mental and that they're having so much fun.

**What's on your agenda today?**

Megan!

I survived the night! Megan (above) went to bed like a champ at 7:20 with no fuss. I set up the port-a-crib (thanks Michelle) in our bedroom, made it comfy and took Megan, her soft kitty stuffed animal (freshly dried from the tub incident), and her blankie gave her a hug and put her into the crib. She didn't make a sound. I held my breath as I shut the door, fearing the delay of tears, but they never came. She slept through the night until 7:33 this morning! Amy had prepared me for a 6:30 wake-up from Megan, but fortunately she held on for another hour. (Foolishly I stayed up until 12:30 watching the Olympics so I'm still tired, but that's my fault.)

So all the kids are up and watching cartoons. I fear it will be a long day, but I'm so grateful that the sleeping went well. I haven't made any other plans today (even for here at home) because I don't want to set myself for disappointment. The only thing that sounds doable right now is more tidying of my scrapbook room and possibly scanning more photos to add to my photo galleries. I'm kind of hurting for a question today so I'm going to ask...

**Have you checked out my photo galleries?** Kristi's blog is about the gallery provider today, we both have accounts with Smugmug and love it. I added a Good Mail Category the other day and will put the fun stuff we get in there.

I'm in over my head

I don't know how to put this any other way except that "I'm in way over my head" so perhaps I should be saying "S.O.S, gurgle, gurgle, mayday, mayday" or something. Adam and Amy are moving today and tomorrow so they're super busy trying to clean up the construction at their new house, move their things from their old house, and then set things up in the new house as well. So I've got their 3 girls along with my 2 kids in my tiny house. Of course, the girls are used to being here because they come to game night every Friday night, so that's good, and I'm familiar with them and their ways so that's good too. I'm just not used to 5 kids under the age of 7 being in my house with me in charge.

That whole thing about me hating chaos, loud noises, and spiders really gets aggravated on days like these (not that we have more spiders but the possibility remains). It literally took 15 minutes to get all the car seats put in the car and every situated. Fortunately skinny Amy was the one manuevering in those tight quarters, but it was exhausting just watching that. The drive home was loud and long (40 minutes) but otherwise without incident (I just kept turning up the Colin Hay cd louder and louder to cover them up).

I made pancakes for dinner, but my 2 foot griddle couldn't keep up with the vultures. They were like, "um Jill do you have a pancake ready for me?, Um Jill I need syrup and this cutted, Jill you made a big meth [mess said by Tess with a lisp]." So that was fun. Then they had to take a bath because my kids know I hate the smell of syrup on people after they've eaten it so the girls all got into the tub, flooded the bathroom, called to me at least 35 times for different things, and Megan dropped her stuffed animal in as well. Landon has been helping me and that has saved me so far. He's the other set of hands and legs I need to wrangle this many demanding girls. (Randy went up to help them move.) I'll now say for the millioneth time to those of you with more than two kids "I don't know how you do it!"

**I need words of comfort and advice because I'm only 4 hours into what could be a 36 hour shift.**

Competition

Have you guys been watching the Olympics? We've been recording them each night so we just watched Sunday's competition last night. I don't mind being behind because I'm not familiar enough with any of the competitors to fear the results being spoiled ahead of time. Anyway, last night we were watching the Men's Cross Country Skiiing Event and it was so good. The race takes over an hour (grueling) and was very exciting. This guy (above) from the Netherlands fell at the start of the race. He won the Gold in the 2002 Olympics so he started at the front of the pack of 77 other skiers but got tripped up immediately and all these other guys crashing on him and passing him. He is such a fierce competitor that he ended up passing over 60 other skiers to win the Silver Medal! I was a wreck with the emotion. The Olympics always make me cry (no matter who it is or what event), I can't handle the pressure of it all and thinking of all the years of training and expectations rolled into that moment. It's too much. Michelle Kwan's story does me in as well--but good for her for dropping out if she can't be her best (so sad though).

Another thing the Olympics always makes me think about is how much of a wuss I am. I am so NOT a competitor. Sure I like to win at board games and other various benign life events, but when it comes down to going head-to-head with someone I bow out completely. I like to tell myself it's because I don't really care about it, but the truth is I don't have the intestinal fortitude to compete. I don't like this about myself, but I guess it's okay because I was never a contender in the first place.

**Are a no guts no glory type person or a wuss like me?**

Just can't get enough

Lori and Adam are the music finders in our family and one of them (sorry I can't remember who) discovered Colin Hay. He was in the band Men at Work but this cd is an acoustic outpouring of goodness. His voice is like butter. I listened to it over and over again today; every time I'd start it over Whitney would say, "not again!" But she couldn't fight it because it's good stuff. I haven't been this absorbed in a new cd in such a long time that I can't even remember when it was...possibly back to 2001 with John Mayer.

**What music are you loving these days?**

Wisdom from Little Women

I have just barely finished listening to the 17th cd of Little Women. It was so good. I haven't ever read it, but loved the movie when it came out several years ago. I always struggle with the character of Amy because she's so worldly and shallow, but I think I've made my peace with her after listening to the book on cd and seeing the full development of her character. I found myself writing down quotes here and there that stood out to me, so I'm sharing them with you now.

"Love casts out fear, and gratitude can conquer pride."

"The great charm of all power is modesty."

"Never think it is impossible to conquer your fault."

"Remember this day and resolve with all your soul you'll never know another like it."

"I'm a crotchety old thing and always shall be. Only it's easier for me to risk my life for a person than to be nice to them when I don't feel like it. It's a great misfortune to have such strong likes and dislikes isn't it?" (Jo says this and I can relate so much it's scary.)

For the parents who had taught one child to accept death without fear, were trying now to get another to accept life without despondency or distrust, and to use its beautiful opportunities with gratitude and power."

"I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship." (Surprisingly said by Amy)

--Now I have no books on tape waiting for (I usually do) and must venture out in the snow to the library to get more.

**How do you save/remember the great things you read? Do you have an opinion of Little Women?**

My Benefactor

Jenn standing in a shadow (apparently I have no photography skills whatsoever.)


Jenn's daughter Emily with Whitney

Landon taking a bite is better than the goofy grin I'd get otherwise.

If you read my blog regularly then you know that Jenn is creative, generous, and thoughtful as evidenced by the many projects, cards, and gifts she gives all of us lucky book club friends. I have been blessed by her for several years now and have taken to calling her my benefactor because she hires me to take pictures of her family and kids often enough that I can buy fun things with the money she pays me. Well, today she showed up at my house with a dozen Valentine Krispy Kreme Donuts. Oh the joy. I had posted a brief blog this morning asking if anyone had been thinking about Kristi's Krispy Kreme post from yesterday because I was having a hard time getting it out of my mind. I later deleted the post because no one responded and then I felt foolish that I was thinking about donuts so much. Apparently Jenn read the post and even though she has a sick baby and plenty to do she drove all the way from Lehi to Orem to get donuts, and then delivered them to me in American Fork. Such a treat! It's funny too, because I had called Krispy Kremes earlier today to see if they had the Valentine donuts and how much they cost. After hearing that they were $7.99 a dozen I decided not to use the quarter tank of gas to get there or to spend the money to buy them. So that's my story, and I must say thanks again to Jenn for her spontaneous gift, effort and friendship.

**Do you love Krispy Kreme's too?**

Valentine's

I just brought in the mail and we had Valentine's! One from Michelle (top) one for each of the kids (purple and pink) from my parents and one for me and Randy from my parents along with $20 for dinner. How nice is that? Totally unexpected and fun. Thanks you guys. I'm feeling like such a chump because here I am the good-mail advocate and I didn't get any Valentine's made or sent. I spent so long making and composing the thank you cards for my printer from Christmas that I just barely got those sent a week ago, and felt drained after that. I'm sorry everyone, because I would have liked to have sent Valentine's.

**Did you send Valentine's?**

Happy Valentine's Day

Happpy Valentine's Day! I awoke this morning and headed for the computer and found this envelope and box from Randy waiting for me. Delightful. A box full of milk chocolate truffles and an envelope holding a gift certificate to Roberts--he knows what he's doing.

I have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I like holidays and think it's fun to have something to celebrate and enjoy (i.e., all the cute candy), but I don't like all the last-minute buying of crap given just for the sake of not getting in trouble. Gifts should be thoughtful and a Valentine should be too (according to me). The sight of men scrambling around the stores after work on Valentine's Day buying whatever red and pink junk they can find makes me sad/mad.

**How do you feel about Valentine's Day?**

Look at what I found

At Collette's birthday dinner last Thursday both Michelle and Collette lamented the fact that they'd gone to DI to score a load of books (after envying my successes), but were disappointed when they didn't find anything worth buying. I was surprised by this and had to go see for myself. These are the books I found during my 15 minute visit to DI last Friday Night (a good time to go because it wasn't busy). So now I'm wondering if they think the stuff I'm finding is crap or if they just didn't spend enough time looking--either way it was more for me. I also found several duplicates of books I have but that were good ones to buy.

**Do you buy books, get them from the library or have nothing to do with them at all?**

I'm feeling it...

I'm so glad it's Monday. This weekend felt long (and not in the good way) so I'm happy that it's Monday again and I get to stay home and regroup. I will do school with Landon, get ready for the day, do laundry, and then hopefully make it into my scrapbook room to sort through the pile that has grown on my desk (it's a little scary), and then create something because I'm feeling it today (the need, the desire, and most importantly an idea).

**What are you doing on this glorious Monday?**

{This photo is a close-up of some of the items on my scrapbook shelf, and they make me oh so happy. P.S. Has anybody started to work on the art challenge illustrated list?}

Oh yeah, if you want to see something funny check out Kristi's blog today.

Great Lesson

"There are a great many things at our door, a great many changes to take place in the earth, and the kingdom is growing; and I would here exhort all the Latter-day Saints who hear me this day to study well the position you are in, and search your hearts and see if we are in favor of the Lord our God, and then let us increase continually in faith, in hope, in righteousness, and in every virtuous principle which is necessary for us to have to sustain us in every trial through which we may be called to pass in order to prove us as the friends of God, whether we will abide in the covenant or not; we will be tried from this time until the coming of the Messiah or while we live on the earth." --Wilford Woodruff (manual page 33)


I think this quote is fantastic. Our lesson in Relief Society today was so good (especially because of the great comments everyone made), and this quote was part of it. It was cool that even though we're always told how much we have to do (read scriptures, say prayers, visit teach, fulfil callings, spread the gospel, etc.), that we are still able to do the best WE can at each phase of our lives. One lady in our ward said that the lesson made her think, "How can we be just plain better moms and wives? Women do great things in the world but we do great things in the walls of our own homes." I was so comforted by this thought because life can seem overwhelming so quickly--and even if all I ever had to do was take care of those within the walls of my own home it would still be overwhelming, at least I left feeling motivated and recommitted to being a better mother and wife (I need to recommit daily).

**What did you learn today?**

Prayer

"We learn to pray by praying. One can devote countless hours to examining the experiences of others, but nothing penetrates the human heart as does a personal, fervent prayer and its heaven-sent response." --Thomas S. Monson

fervent
adj 1: characterized by intense emotion; "ardent love"; "an ardent lover"; "a burning enthusiasm"; "a fervent desire to change society"; "a fervent admirer"; "fiery oratory"; "an impassioned appeal"

"Daily fervent prayers seeking forgiveness and special help and direction are essential to our lives and the nourishment of our testimonies. When we become hurried, repetitive, casual, or forgetful in our prayers, we tend to lose the closeness of the Spirit, which is so essential in the continual direction we need to successfully manage the challenges of our everyday lives. Family prayer every morning and night adds additional blessings and power to our individual prayers and to our testimonies." --Donald L. Staheli

These are a couple thoughts I've saved from LDS Gems. I get a spiritual thought in my email account every day. I've been doing this for a couple months and find it quite helpful.

**Where do you find your favorite spiritual thoughts and quotes?**

Temperment Test

Idealist (eNFj)
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

The Four types of Idealists are:

Healers (INFP) | Counselors (INFJ) | Champions (ENFP) | Teachers (ENFJ)

**This is an interesting test to take. I have the book for this and every time I retake it I get the same result, but still feel like I learn something new about myself. Give it a whirl and tell me what you are.**

It's the Keirsey Temperment Test.

Home

I'm back. That was a record of 37 hours without blogging, I don't know how you felt about that but it was weird for me. We've had a busy couple of days so I wasn't really home and on the computer all the time like usual. I get out of sorts when I haven't been home much (which is funny because that can mean 10 hours away) but I'm such a homebody that I just like to be here. I like going shopping and I like spending time at friends' houses, but I always like coming home and taking care of household stuff, spending time on the computer, and watching movies at night with Randy. I feel like I've always been this way because even as a little kid I loved to be in my room and was always rearranging, cleaning, and organizing it. I'm not sure what this means, but I'm old enough now that it's pretty much how I am (and I don't mind being that way really). So I have nothing profound to offer in this post, but I'm glad I'm home even though I wasn't really even gone for long.

**Are you a homebody or do you like to be out and about all the time?**

Roller Skating Day

Today we're going to a roller skating party with kids from k12. It's a chance to socialize with other home school kids and to exchange Valentines as well. It should be funny, but I'm not feeling too keen on going because I woke up with a bad headache (left over from last night). That's never a good sign for me. I think I'm seriously behind schedule at the moment (just realized this) and must go.

**When was the last time you went roller skating?**

Good mail day surprise!

How delightful to come home from running errands to find a package in the mail from Michelle. Look at all this goodness. The flowers are in tiny glass containers (which clanged in the envelope most suspiciously), so enjoyable. The ribbon (oh the love), the cutest tiny note, the J key chain so marvelous. Thanks Michelle! (It's even better that she sent it just because she knew I'd be giddy about it, no holiday or anything.)

**How do you feel about good mail?**
I love to send it as much as I love to get it.