Last day of the month

Today was one of those days that ends up feeling a bit pointless. I suppose I shouldn't feel that way, but I don't have anything substantial to show for the 14 hours I've been awake. This is what I did today.

• Talked to Amie on the phone
• Got showered and put on make-up
• Changed the sheets on our bed
• Watered a couple parts of the lawn
  
• Did 2 loads of laundry
• Made 2 picnic lunches (one for the girls and one of the boys)
• Had James, Jessica, Benjamin and Kira over to play
• Emptied the dishwasher
• Shredded some junk mail
• Read blogs
  
• Talked to Amie on the couch for a few hours
• Hung out with Lori a little bit tonight
• Stood on the porch in the rain with Randy

I think PMS is coming on because I feel inexplicably out of sorts. I hate that. It makes me feel very out of control and like I'm fighting against myself. I end up getting kind of negative and whiny. I can't stand this about myself, so it's hard to expect anyone else to stand me either.


Tomorrow is a crazy Saturday for us. Randy's going to the gym for the first time in years (he signed up today). I'm going to Jenn's daughter's baptism to take pictures before and after, Whitney's got a birthday party, Randy's got a friend's wedding to attend, then we have the reception in the evening. I'm tired just thinking about it and am not sure how we're going to juggle the morning's events.

**Do you ever wish you could just run away until you felt better?
Sometimes I don't feel like participating in my own life anymore.**

Disclaimer: The pointlessness of my day is in no way a reflection on my time spent with Amie or Lori. I'm merely saying that in contrast to most of my other days this one felt pointless. Most likely this is hormonal and has nothing to do with outside influences or company. It's all mental, because the events of today could be considered a good day any other time. Thank heaven Amie was here making me laugh, I hate to think how pissy I would have been without her.

Like a scavenger hunt, but different

Today the kids and I went to the mall to find some summer clothes for them. I realize it's been hot enough for summer clothes for over 2 months now, but they've been getting by pretty well. It took some convincing to get the kids to run errands happily today. I think they've been spoiled a bit because I run errands at night so often that they don't have to go with me that much. So even though I'd brought down the smack and told them they were going and would do so without complaint, I still wanted to make it more fun.

It turns out that we have this coupon book (which I got schnockered into buying for $40 last fall) from a very nice kid who lives down the street who was selling them to raise money for his mission (what's a girl to do?). The coupon book actually has a ton of great stuff in it, so I didn't feel irritated after I bought it. The only down side is that all the coupons expire on 6/30/06! That's tomorrow! So I've been trying to use these coupons like crazy. I gave Michelle a bunch of them a couple weeks ago, and have been trying to plan accordingly myself so that I can use them. So today my shopping adventure with the kids involved using coupons. Our first stop was Daylight Donuts because we had a coupon for buy one get one free and a coupon for a free donut. It didn't take the kids long to see the beauty of my plan. Within two bites of his donut Landon said, "I can play with Benjamin tomorrow because we've got stuff to do today."


After the delightful daylight donuts we went to the mall. Let me just say I hate going to the mall. I hardly ever do it, and every time I go I decide I'm not going to ever go again. Fortunately we got there around 10:30 so it wasn't too crowded yet. We found Whitney a bathing suit on clearance at Gap Kids, then scored at the big sale at Bath and Body Works (I have good body creams again, hooray). The kids were already slowing down and talking about lunch by the time we went into The Children's Place. I usually find lots of good stuff there, but this time I had the kids in the dressing room trying things on (not as easy as it sounds) and became rather flustered myself. Apparently they've both been cursed with my genetically thick middle because it's hard to find clothes that fit well. Landon needs jeans so badly yet we're having a hard time finding a good fit. I was sweating as I ran in and out of the dressing room trying to find the right size. We left there with only 2 pairs of shorts for Whitney.


We then went to the food court for lunch (also something we don't normally do) because I had Chick-fil-A coupons. We had a buy one get one free kids meal so they ate lunch for $3.20. I ended up giving a different coupon to a mother and daughter who were in line behind me because I just had to share the wealth of my good coupons before they expire tomorrow. To say these women were tickled would be an understatement...it's was funny and rather fulfilling because they shared my coupon euphoria.

After a of couple hours at the mall I was wasted (I logged 6000 steps on my pedometer there alone) and foolishly decided to brave Costco. We didn't need a ton of stuff so it seemed like it would be a fairly quick trip, but since I always pick the wrong line to stand in that added another 10 minutes. I'm still not sure what was going on with the old people in front of me, but they seemed to have brought the Costco system to a screeching halt. I felt like someone should be spraying me with a fine mist of cool water and fanning me for waiting so patiently in line. Does it piss anyone else off that you have to stand in line in order to get out of the store at Costco? That makes me crazy, but what can I do?

By the time I got home I was officially irritable, tired and heat angry. I just hate being hot. I took a shower and put on some lounge clothes so that did the trick. After that I read blogs and then listened to my book on cd (still working on this, I'm only on disc 6 but I love it) and cut up fruit. We actually have watermelon, canteloup, strawberries, grapes and bananas at the moment. I decided this was the first time I've ever cut a watermelon by myself. I realized I didn't know what I was doing. When we lived with my parents my mom always had a huge bowl of perfectly cut watermelon in the fridge, and I never participated in the cutting process (no doubt because she did it at 6:00am after exercising and doing 3 loads of laundry).

Finally, I met Jenn and her kids at the park and took pictures of 3 of them. It was nice that the clouds had covered the sun a bit because it wasn't quite so hot, but I still managed to get uncomfortably warm. It was the first time I used my SLR camera since getting my new digital camera. I felt like I'd been cheating on it or something.

**How do you feel about the mall? Buying clothes for kids?
Cutting watermelon? Whatever?**

Good mail updates

I would be remiss if I didn't post about my recent good mail deliveries. It seems that comedy is creeping into the mail, and that's fine with me. (click on photos to enlarge)


I got this fantastic mix cd from Amy W. on Friday when I got home from camp. She included a very detailed list of the songs and why she and her husband like them or how they discovered them. It was so glorious to take a long shower and to be home alone listening to this new and wonderful cd. I don't know Amy, but I know I like her just from reading her blog and from her music choices. Thanks Amy!
On Saturday I got this darling thank you card from Jessie. I had given her a box of those cards (from Target) for her birthday the week before, and knew she would take them to the next level with her creative genius ways. She used rub-ons to spell out thanks. Why didn't I think of that? I'm also mighty impressed with her super fast thank-you note sending. I'm always behind and am blown away when someone is on top of it like that.

Lisa decided to add some humor to my Saturday by sending me 4 of the scary cards she's received from her card group (you quit right?). We used to be in a card exchange group together (with Amie and 6 other women) but eventually it fizzled because half of the cards were cute and half of them were stupid like these. We couldn't take it any longer. There's only so much you can do when faced with frights like that.

Today my camp director Toby (the one with the 2 year old triplets) showed up at my door with this darling handmade (and hand embroidered) bag that held freshly baked chocolate chip cookies (which were still warm, I ate 3!) and a very nice note. Of course, I intend to make fun gifts/thank you's for the other camp leaders, but I don't even have an idea yet. Here she is making these cute handmade items and delivering them within 5 days of returning from camp! I said, "Toby you've got triplets!" and she said, "They're good kids." I don't care if they're good kids or not, she's still the young mother of 3 very busy 2 year olds, how did she do this?

**Have you been sending or receiving much good mail lately?**

One with the tissues

I'm feeling a little bit better today, though I'm still one with the tissues. This is a sampling of the boxes I've got in every room of the house. That floral box of Puffs Plus was just started on Saturday afternoon! Of course, after using rough napkins and sandpaper-like toilet paper at camp last week any real tissue feels luxurious to me. Alison commented the other day and said she felt like every molecule of her body was trying to exit out her nose, and I feel the same way. I started taking a Claritan type allergy pill yesterday so I'm hoping that will kick in. Amie informed me that it takes awhile for it to build up in your system so I should be consistent about taking it. I'm glad for her allergy expertise because all day yesterday I kept wondering when it would kick in and start working.

Yesterday was a rough day for me because I just wanted to go to bed. The neighbor kids were here playing in the water and running in and out all day with my kids. I can't even believe that I'm now the mom who's always yelling "shut the door, the air conditioning is on!" Apparently that's my favorite thing to say.

Our Enrichment Activity last night was up in American Fork Canyon at the Mutual Dell Lodge. We had a great turn out. It was on the Top Ten Tips for a Great Family Reunion. They had 10 different people talk for 5 minutes each about different aspects of planning a reunion, we had dutch over dinner, and lots of great salads. I feel like I'm really getting to know everybody thanks to my many callings. I sat with the young women's leaders and a couple of the girls, but definitely felt comfortable talking to people at all the different tables. I felt like I really fit in for the first time since we've lived here (two and half years). It was great.

As I was driving home and had a couple of women in my car one of them said, "I wish I knew more people and I wish they knew me." It's interesting because I've always thought she was really offish. I've tried to talk to her before and she doesn't really participate much in the conversation. She was a labor and delivery nurse during Jenn's delivery a couple years ago (which I was there for) and she didn't even acknowledge me at all. I still don't know if she did, but it would be weird if she didn't because I'd talked to her a few times at that point. Anyway, I was so glad that she rode with me and that I got to talk to her and get to know her a little bit. I really felt like that Enrichment Activity wasn't the purpose of the night, it's the sisterhood we feel when we participate that's so important. I've felt that before but tend to forget about it, because I often talk myself out of going to certain activities. Apparently that's why I always get called to be on the Enrichment Committee...it forces me to go. I guess I'm a slow learner, but I feel like I'm starting to "get it."

Whitney finally lost her other front tooth yesterday! Thank heaven. She's been walking around with a dangling snaggle tooth for 8 days and it was not pretty. She looked like a hill billy ragamuffin from the back woods or something. Monday night Randy and I were trying to convince her to pull it out. It was so loose that it was spinning around in her mouth. It finally came out yesterday while she was eating. Now she looks goofy, but cute.

So that's my update. Amie told me this morning that "if she clicked on my blog and saw that toilet one more time she was going to scream." Kind of funny.

**Do I need to post a question or can you
just comment based on what you read?**

Now they've gone too far!

This is most likely in very poor taste, but since I just woke up from this horrific dream I'm going to share.

In my dream I was at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries when I realized I had to pee immediately. I saw my neighbor in a long line and asked her if she'd watch my cart. I then ran to the bathroom, where they had remodeled (I seemed to be familiar with the grocery store bathrooms) so that there were no stalls. The toilets were next to each other like regular chairs. There were women on all of the toilets except one and they were having a lesson! I hurried and sat down (which in real life I NEVER would have done), but then I couldn't go to the bathroom.

A woman was leading the meeting/lesson and all the other women were sitting happily on their toilets. A couple of the women got up to leave when they were done, even though the lesson wasn't over. Apparently I didn't want to be rude because the lesson wasn't over, but I remembered that my neighbor had my cart so I hurried up and got out of there (without washing my hands because their were no sinks! Very disturbing to me). As I ran out of the bathroom (still feeling like I had to pee) the women that had been in there earlier were sitting in chairs filling out surveys about the new bathroom experience.

They wrangled me into answering the questions, but I told them how mad I was that I was in there for so long and that it was so hard for me to go to the bathroom that I still felt like I needed to pee, and that if I got a bladder infection I was going to be furious! Then I told them I had to go find my neighbor with my cart because it had been so long, I was afraid she'd left. They didn't believe me that my neighbor had my cart and told me to go to customer service. I ran over there and saw a huge line of people with their carts, but didn't see my neighbor. Next thing I know there's another line of people with luggage (like the airport) and one of the men turns around and it's my dad. He came over to say something to me, but I couldn't understand what he said. Then my alarm went off and I woke up!! What the #$%@?

All of this because I have Relief Society tonight, Randy went to the grocery store for ingredients last night, and because I really had to pee when I woke up. (I have no idea where my dad fits into this.)

**Do you incorporate going to the bathroom into your dreams when you really have to go?**

Summer

I didn't take pictures at Seven Peaks today because I don't like to leave my camera unattended and because Michelle and her kids weren't there, so we really weren't at full capacity. But if I had taken pictures they would have been of the kids with their swim goggles on (that always cracks me up). Amie and I didn't even get wet today! That's the first time ever. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It was nice that the kids could go do things then come back and check-in with us, but it was kind of weird to just sit the whole time. Amie and I never run out of things to talk about so it's enjoyable to sit and chat, but it was a little odd not to be part of the action. This also means I could have brought my camera today and not had to leave it. Dang.

So my photo is of the Black-eyed Susans in my front yard today right after I watered them. My flower beds are looking pretty out of control. I like the wild flower look, but at some point I have crossed over into unkempt. This makes it even harder for me to want to get in there and weed because I fear all the creatures that are hiding in there. The other night something moved when I walked by and then I saw it was a little black snake! Now I'm very cautious when I climb in there to turn on the hose, and certainly don't want to be down on my knees reaching into the dense growth going on. It's ridiculous, but I find myself thinking "oh, I'll do better next year" what's up with that?

Apparently I don't have much to say. I'm blaming my clogged head and weariness. I'm going to try some allergy medicine and see if I can tell a difference. I feel like I keep saying "what?" because my ears are clogged too.

Post-camp Fatigue

I'm sorry to be Missing In Action after just returning from my 5-day break. I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything because I'm so tired. (It's hard to miss 5 days of reading everyone's blogs because I want to go back and read them all and comment, but there's really a lot of them.) I couldn't sleep on Friday night because I was coughing so much (and possibly because of my 3 hour nap) so I stayed up until 3:00am and then slept on the couch so as not to disturb Randy with my coughing fits. So then I was tired on Saturday, and when I say tired, I mean tired with a capital "T". It was hard for me to muster the strength and motivation to do much of anything, but we had to go shopping for a belated Father's Day present for my dad (movie passes) and belated birthday presents for my mom (some shirts, lounge pants, and salad knives) before heading out to my parents' house to celebrate these events.


We had an excellent barbeque and hung out together (though napping kept creeping into my mind). We stayed until 6:00, then Lori talked me into going to a movie with her (not that it took much convincing, I just feared a bit since I was weary and coughing). So Randy and the kids drove home, and Lori and I went to see "Click". I'd give it 6.5 out of 10.


I then came home and had a message from one of the YW counselors who wanted me to print 20 photos from camp so she could put them on a poster for Sunday. I did that for awhile, then watched Last Comic Standing with Randy. I was delirious by the end of that because it was midnight, so I finally went to bed and slept great.

Today I had to get up at 8:00 to work on my Primary Lesson, then go to church at 10:30 for a teacher development meeting, then be at church until 2:30. My lesson went great so I was happy. I had been feeling sick and tired this morning (this cold is really doing a number on me) and was trying to think of alternatives because I didn't feel like teaching. Fortunately my great desire not to be a flake didn't allow for any excuses and I went and had a good lesson and good day at church. It was fun to see all of the young women and to have them be so friendly to me now that they know who I am. It turns out that Randy teaches 4 of them in his Sunday School class so he said he thinks my going to camp has increased their comfort level and camaraderie in class with him because they feel like they know me. (Another blessing no?)

So hopefully it's now back to life as usual. Tomorrow my visiting teachers are coming, then we're going to 7 Peaks with Amie and the kids, then FHE, then Tuesday I actually get to be home during the day and can clean and get back to normal life (my scrap room is a disaster again). Of course, Tuesday night I have an Enrichment Activity up in the canyon that I'm helping with, but after that I'm clear for a few days. Hooray.

A week in review

Whew...I made it home. This has been the most time-warped week of all time. It seems like that month of camp preparations took forever, so it's weird to be on the other side of it harking back (even if that harking was just this morning).


I am sun-kissed and mosquito bit, but other than that I'm in a good way. I can't believe how physically draining this week was. I wore my pedometer (thanks Amie) and this is what it looked like when I got home today (just from last night and today). I logged some serious steps this week, but came through it blister-free and only a little bit sore. (Hooray, my hill walking before camp must have helped.)

Camp was a great experience. I am so in love with all of those girls. It's weird to feel that way (it seems so adult-like), but it's true. I think I'm old enough now to be in-between being a young woman and a seasoned-mother so I can see both sides of this journey, and can appreciate the importance of the camp experience. I don't remember valuing camp much back when I went. I know I had fun, but going there as a leader is a whole other experience. I felt responsible (lucky I shared that responsibility with several other leaders) for their safety, their spiritual growth, their fun, and their camp experience. They all seemed to love it, so I think it went well, but man that's a lot of work and effort to make provide them the experience. In one of our planning meetings before camp the YW President was reviewing all the devotionals and spiritual aspects of camp and said, "If they don't have a spiritual experience it will be because of them, not because they lacked any opportunities." I thought that was a cool thing to say (she said it seriously) because though we don't try to manipulate anyone into having a spiritual experience, the main purpose of camp is to provide an atmosphere that fosters spiritual experiences while having fun.

{All of us just before the hike,
I'm the 2nd from the left}

Here are some highlights from the week...

• The girls being very sweet to me and calling me "Sister Jill"
• Finding out how funny and individual they all are
• Smores every night
• Sleeping well on my air mattress (though I snored)
  
• I survived an all-day hike from hell. I was red-faced and sweaty (and often thinking ill of the very peppy camp director who planned it and led the way), but I made it without humiliating myself too badly.
  
• Blissful showers after being filthy
• Great food that seemed like fuel instead of just food
• The sky so filled with stars they seemed like they were high voltage
• The sound of the leaves rustling on the trees
  
• The girls loving the gratitude journals I made for them (and the devotional going great)
• Almost tipping the canoe and feeling like a total canoe spazz
• Being one with the bug spray (everyone used it so the Costco pack did me proud)
• The mountains had the most wonderful cool breeze that felt like such a reward while hiking
• Testimony meeting was great
• Missing my home and family

Sister Julie Beck of the General YW Presidency is our bishop's sister and came to our camp yesterday after the camp dedication. She gave an impromptu devotional and let the girls ask her questions. It was very cool.


So I've been wondering all week about my reason for being there, and I'm still not 100% sure why, but I have a few theories.

1. I feel motivated to exercise more and train so that my body can do the things I want it to do (especially since they're already talking about me going next year).
2. I want to be a better mother after being around those amazing girls and seeing several of them (6) with their mothers (who were leaders). They are so strong, confident, and spiritually sound that it made me want to be the kind of mother that raises children like that.
3. I took 512 photos! I documented the crap out of camp, and everyone is so excited about the pictures. I'm hoping they will prove to be valuable for the girls. (Maybe to see themselves a certain way or to remember moments they wouldn't have been able to document otherwise.) Click here to see some of the photos.
   

The only unfortunate thing for me was that my cold seemed to shift into high gear and tormented me. I was coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose all week. I went through 6 mini packs of tissues, used a lot of the box of tissues we had at camp, then moved on to very rough napkins. My nose is raw. I don't know if something up there was aggravating me or what, but good grief it was rough. I literally had a tissue or napkin in my hand the entire time. By yesterday my nose hurt so badly that I was wetting napkins and just blotting. Grim indeed.

It's good to be home. I took a very long and productive shower, ate a little something, then napped for 3 hours until Randy and Landon came home. Thanks so much to my mom, Michelle, and Amy for watching the kids this week!

Heber Valley Camp or Bust...

The time has arrived (it came quickly didn't it) for me to head off into the great forest of Aspens to be one with nature and one with hyperventilating as I try to keep up with these 100 pound girls. I am all packed and have everything on the check list. I am still missing an ice axe and sherpa but am feeling confident that I'll be fine.

{I'm up at 1:46am mod podging the gratitude journals}

The kids helped me pack (it actually DID help). Landon read off the check list item by item, and Whitney ran to get the things I didn't have. They were pretty funny and mighty happy to be involved. I'm hoping it was just their good natures wanting to help and not their eagerness to have me gone. This is going to be a great week for them, as they get 2 days with my parents (Thanks Mom!!) and then Whitney gets 3 days with Bella, Tess and Megan (Thanks Amy!!) while Landon gets 3 days with Max and Lucas (Thanks Michelle!!). They're beyond excited about all of this.


Randy saved me tonight by making my tin foil dinner for tomorrow. He grilled a hamburger and boiled potatoes so that it would be pretty much cooked, and I will just have to heat it up tomorrow night on the fire. I was asking him how we're supposed to tell our foil dinners apart until he showed me how he folded mine. He's anal retentive and known for his famous "tuck tuck fold" method of securing things for fridge storage. I don't think anybody else's will look just like mine. Pretty funny but very helpful.

I hope this week goes well. If you think about it I would appreciate any extra prayers for inspiration and stamina for me at camp. I'm not stressed, I'm feeling confident and willing, but I still could use some Divine Intervention to see me through this week. Thanks.

{Whitney lost her tooth today}

Also, if you find yourself checking in on my blog this week because you've forgotten that I'm gone, feel free to randomly comment. I'd love to come back and find greetings and thoughts rather than nothing.

Until Friday afternoon, be well, blog often, and don't laugh too hard when you think of me on the hike at camp.

Father's Day

I must say I like Father's Day more than I like Mother's Day. I think it's easier to make the day special for someone else, than it is to be the personal being celebrated. (This could be because there's disappointment involved in being celebrated, but that's neither here nor there.)

Today we made Randy breakfast and then gave him his Father's Day gifts. The kids thought it was hilarious that I put Randy's gifts in a princess gift bag, but it was the only bag I had big enough for his gifts; it's a mark of his easygoing personality and good sense of humor that he thought it was funny too.

We gave him an incredibly soft blanket for his Sunday naps. He usually has to borrow Landon's soft blanket so I knew he'd be psyched to get one of his very own. We also gave his a huge box of Powerbars and a huge box of Swedish Fish to keep at work. Nothing major, but successful gifts nonetheless.

Top Ten Reasons why Randy is a Great Father

1. He still likes to play.
2. He is very hands-on with everything kid-related, so he can make dinner, do their hair, pull teeth, watch cartoons, take them to the wood park, go for walks, ride scooters and more.
   
3. He makes the best grilled-cheese sandwiches in the world.
4. He held both of them all night the nights they were born.
5. He cleans up throw-up and is good when they're sick.
6. He doesn't consider it babysitting when he takes care of his own kids.
7. He can draw anything they ask him to draw.
8. He is a human heater and warms them up if they're cold.
9. He tells them stories of Conan and makes it up as he goes along, they beg for this every night.
10. He loves them and they know it!

**What do you think about Father's Day?**

Happy 25th Birthday Jessie!!

Loaded for bear

Well it's pretty much the last minute and I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't packed, finished the gratitude journals, finalized my devotional or have any clue about the things I have to know to certify the girls, BUT I have bandanas, an air mattress, a sleeping bag, bug spray, sunblock, and granola bars so that's something right?

I went to Costco and got this big pack of bug spray because it was the easiest thing to do and I don't want to run out. (Costco was insane today, blasted samples on a Saturday, why do they torture me so?) As we were unloading the car Randy said, "you're loaded for bear aren't you?" I didn't know what he was talking about. Every now and then he comes out with ridiculous idioms that make him sound like he's 60 years old (not that there's anything wrong that) and it takes me by surprise (which is amazing after knowing him almost 14 years). He explained that I was overpreparing (as is my way) and that I wouldn't need everything I'm getting for camp. I decided it was a compliment. I would rather be way overprepared than even a tiny bit underprepared. He pulled the clipboard I bought from Family Dollar (my second visit this week) out of the bag and said "is this your water proof clipboard?" Very funny. As he was heading out the door to Walmart to get me a compass, squirt bottle with fan, and possibly a whistle he said "should I pick up a Sherpa while I'm out." I said, "that would be great." Ha.
I know I'm being a little crazy, but tomorrow is Sunday so I need to finish all my shopping today (or get up really early Monday morning, I just barely thought of that possibility) to make sure I have everything. Camping is a stretch for me, especially since I don't like to be too hot or too cold, chaffed, uncomfortable, or dirty. I'm pretty much hosed aren't I? I'm doing my best to avoid any of these things, so I'm trying to prepare wisely.

**Do you load for bear or just wing it?**

Motivation Issues

I got this very cute card from Jessie today. I don't know how she made this so well, but it's perfectly made and mighty cute. She sent me her Macey's punch card too (for film developing), that's so nice. Thanks Jessie! I can't believe tomorrow is the Lola's Legacy scrapbook day already, I'll be there.

I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm not using my time wisely and not focusing well. I feel extremely inclined to nap (definitely felt this while driving today), and am not preparing for camp the way I should be. I have always admired people who know what they need to do, and then just do it. I'm usually scrambling at the last minute and feel frenzied and flustered. You'd think after repeating this cycle so many thousands of times in my life that I'd change my ways, but it's not looking like that's going to happen. Dr. Phil would say that I'm getting some sort of payoff for behaving this way...hmmm, perhaps I am. Maybe I like the feel of the looming deadline that forces me to do everything I need to do instead of lolly gagging around. I don't like the feel of staying up really late the night before a trip or a big event, yet that seems to be what I do.
So today Amie and I had planned to take our kids to Seven Peaks even though the weather is much cooler than normal. We were set to go, but talked on the phone this morning and decided we were freezing and that it wasn't a good day to go. The kids were crushed, but could kind of understand the cold factor. I thought we'd made peace with the situation, but Whitney must have been late to register the news because she just burst into tears after confirming the info with me (Landon must have updated her). So I decided that we'd pack our suits and towels and go there because we had to get our pictures taken for our season passes anyway and today wouldn't be crowded in the office because of the weather. We agreed to just go there to get our passes, then go to the dollar movies to see Ice Age 2. Of course, once we got there and saw all the people playing in the water Whitney was full-steam ahead with her skilled negotiator persona. She convinced me and Landon to give up the movie and to play in the water until we were too cold to take it any more. (That didn't take long for me.)

We went in the lazy river 3 times, then Landon went down the slides while Whitney and I stayed in the kiddie pool. I was fricken freezing and just sat against the side while she played. I kept looking at all the cute, smart moms who were all decked out for the day sitting on the side of the pool just watching their kids. I had actually put on make-up and everything today after Amie and I had decided not to go swimming, so it was rough to be sitting in a pool of cool water with the wind blowing and me soaking wet. Not good.

When Landon came back we all got out and went to dry off. I was sooo ready to go, but Whitney was campaigning for more lazy river time. Landon took her one more time (I love it that they're tall enough to go alone) while I got us some fries (we also didn't bring food and hadn't eaten yet). We sat in the sun eating our fries and were happy for a bit. The sun felt good and the fries were oh so tasty. I just couldn't believe how cold it was. All the tiny kids in the water were smiling through chattering teeth.

So long story short--that's all we've done today and now I'm wasted. Apparently I can't make good choices. I need to go grocery shopping, pick up a few more camp-related items, finish the gratitude journals, pack, get Father's Day stuff ready, and write about 100 thank you notes. Aargh, what's wrong with me?

**Are you a last-minute type of girl or do you
plan everything out and then wonder why
everyone else is crazy all the time?**

Generosity

"Generosity consists not the sum given,
but the manner in which it is bestowed."
--Anonymous

Call me crazy, but I think my cup runneth over. Today I got a check from the mother of the bride from the cowboy wedding photos, this absolutely darling, personalized reading notebook from Denise (dpw), and this cute thank-you card with an Impress gift certificate from my sister-in-law Amy. You guys are too good to me (I love it).

{Visit my good mail gallery here}

Slow and easy

I'm so happy to be home today,
and even happier that it's breezy, gray and cool.
The windows are open.
The Weepies are on the cd player.
The kids are playing well with friends.
I'm working on stuff for camp.
I took these photos just minutes ago.
I feel like I'd could nap, but don't think I should.
Gotta love a day like today.

**What are you doing today?**

Digital Day

Today was a crazy, but productive day. I didn't set out to take pictures of my day, but now that I have this handy, new digital technology that fits in my purse, I just happened to have my camera with me everywhere I went. Delightful (at least I think so).

I had to scramble to get me and the kids to my 9:00am eyebrow waxing appointment. It's always nice when that gets done. I was talking to the stylist and commenting on how I should have made an appointment for Whitney's hair, then she said she had time to do it. So Whitney got an unexpected hair cut. I think she likes sitting in that spinning chair and staring at herself in the mirror. It must be sort of surreal for a 5 year old (it's surreal for me now, but I know better than to look at myself for that long, otherwise there are tears and apologies and an embarrasing therapy session with the stylist).

After our grooming session we went to the Family Dollar store to pick up some mini-composition books so I could make the gratitude journals for Girl's Camp. I ended up finding a ton more stuff in there and actually used a cart! I rarely go to stores like that and have certainly never needed a cart before, but they had tons of stuff for camp for great deals. I got clothespins, a clothesline, citrus Clorox (thanks for the recommendation Kristi), Pringles, bandanas, watercolor paints, photo albums, citronella candles (complete with dead bugs in them), paint brushes, pecan sandies, foam paint brushes, lighters, pipe cleaners, 6 pairs of scissors and body butter (only $1.50). I was stoked. (Am I allowed to use that word?)

We finally got to Michelle's house around 11:30pm. She was reading Tasha's blog and told me it made her laugh out loud so I had to sit down and read it too. It did not disappoint, you might want to check it out. I made 15 gratitude journals today! They're not finished yet, but they are well on their way. Michelle was kind enough to let me raid her huge stack of old patterned papers and I ended up with lots of choices for the books (I'll post them when they're done). Eva was very cute today and didn't pinch anyone. It was glorious today because it was only 71 degrees and breezy. I suppose that's not glorious for anyone wishing for toasty summer weather, but it was great for Michelle and I.

I barely had time to unload the car and snarf down some Little Caesar's Pizza (slutty pizza, but cheap and fast) then I had to run over to the church for our pre-camp certification night. I felt so much better tonight and am definitely on the mend from my cold. I still brought tissues, but I only needed one. The girls were learning how to give breaths to someone who is unconscious from choking, so they had one of those creepy Annie dolls for them to use (I'm so glad I didn't have to do it). I thought it was funny so I took pictures. I can't believe camp is only 5 days away.

I feel like my life is not my own these days. I've hardly been on the computer at all, my house smells strangely like old people when I come home after being gone all day, and I haven't talked on the phone at all (Jenn I need to call you back). It's crazy. I don't even want to think about not blogging next week while I'm at camp.

**Do you have days that feel like they're not your own?
How do you keep going and going?**

Busy

{Landon, James & Jessica at my mom's house}

• I've spent the past 2 days out in Eagle Mountain babysitting my brother Andrew while my mom visits Utah tourist sites with her friend Sherrie (who is visiting from Missouri).

• While at my mom's house Amie and her kids came over to hang out with us, which was nice. Amie made cute jewelry while I put the cowboy wedding photos in an album and got them ready to give to the bride and groom. I finally dropped them off last night. It's nice to be done with that. I just barely (2 minutes ago) got a call from the mother of the bride who called to tell me that they loved the pictures and that I couldn't have made a dime on them so she's sending me more money! Can you believe that? I had bid kind of low $350 because I hadn't factored my developing cost (duh), but I was still okay with it. I seriously feel like we're being blessed right now, and I'm in absolute shock that she was so nice. She just raved about the photos and said she can't stop thinking about it and won't feel better until she sends me more money. (What???!! Who does that?) They also want me to take their family photos in the fall.
  
• I had my last camp planning meeting yesterday, and I have precamp certification tonight. I decided to do botanical-related cards for the craft I'm in charge of (thanks to Michelle's genius idea). The girls can paint leaves and stamp them onto cardstock, do leave rubbings, and leave/flower pounding with hammers (squeezes out the color and impression onto the paper). It should be cool. I'm going to bring a sheet full of nature quotes along with some of my rubber stamps so they can do whatever they like with those.
• I'm off to get my eyebrows waxed this morning. They've been holding steady since 6 weeks ago when I had them done, and I've been maintaining them fairly well with my stoplight grooming program of tweezing in the car, but I think being home sick last week and not going out much led to no tweezing so suddenly I'm a mess.

• I'm off to Michelle's house today to work on mini-gratitude journals for Girl's Camp. I got a really cute stamp from Impress Rubber Stamps that I'm just itching to use, plus the devotional I'm giving at camp next Tuesday is on gratitude.

Landon is now a bike-riding machine, so that's cute. He needs a bigger bike and new helmet because his is laughable. Lori tried it out the other night which was cause for much laughing.

**Any good ideas for me to add to my gratitude devotional?**
Any thoughts?