It's All Mental

I used the word proactive in my Best Foot Forward post yesterday because it's something I'm thinking about. I worked at Covey Leadership for 2.5 years so I was exposed to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People quite often, and while I agree with the ideas I came to view them as idealistic because there were so many co-workers who weren't concerned with doing their best, but rather just getting through the day. I maintained an overly optimistic attitude (which is now somewhat embarrassing to recall) until I allowed cynicism to creep in and cloud my views a bit (then I quit when I was 2.5 months pregnant with Landon because I feared the stress and negativity would affect him in utero--for real).

Anyway, here I am 9 years later working on being proactive in my own life. This should be easier to do because it's solely up to me. Of course, I'm fully capable (and an expert really) at sabotaging my efforts to improve and change my life, but as of the beginning of 2007 I feel like I'm finally waking up and taking charge of my choices. (Hallelujah!)

Last weekend (while I was doing time on Timpview Drive) I watched Miracle, the movie about the 1980 US Olympic Gold Winning Hockey Team. As I watched that movie I had a repeated epiphany about how mental everything in life is. There are those that really succeed and push their limits because they believe the can and those of us who putz around feeling victimized because things don't seem to be happening for us. (I am definitely in the putz category.)

I'm ready to stop putzing around and start taking charge of my life. I'm tired of being fat, tired of wishing things in my life were different, tired of waiting for things to happen for me. (Granted I've been tired of these things for a long, long time I just haven't been tired enough to get moving and change things.)

Here are the key points of being Proactive:

1. Self-awareness - the understanding that you do have a choice between stimulus and response. If someone insults you, you can choose not to become angry. If you are offered a donut, you can choose not to eat it.
2. Conscience - the ability to consult your inner compass to decide what is right for you. You can make decisions based on unchanging principles, regardless of what is socially favored at the moment.
3. Creative Imagination - the ability to visualize alternative responses. By using your imagination, you can mentally generate and evaluate different options.
4. Independent Will - You have the freedom to choose your own unique response. You aren’t forced to conform to what others expect from you.

So basically I can choose how I will approach my day, whether I will workout or not, what food I will eat during the day, how I will talk to and treat my kids, what I will accomplish at home, who I will reach out to during the day, whether I will read my scriptures or not, and whether I view my life is enriching or not. Hmmm.


When I consider all of these options I see how much power and control I have and that is both exciting and frightening. I am aware of how much my choices affect Randy and the kids, but on the days that I give-in to the negative thoughts in my mind I find that I don't really care. Yikes.

**What do you think?
Which areas of your life are you proactive?
Do you feel like a victim sometimes?**

Check out Janae's awesome post.

My Best Foot Forward

Lelly's Self-Portrait assignment this week is to interpret the theme of putting our best foot forward. I often take pictures of my feet in various places (on the beach, my snow-covered porch, etc.) but the idea of putting my best foot forward just had to have something to do with my new life-altering habit of going to the gym.


Literally every time I step foot into the gym I get a surge of energy and satisfaction. I'm so proud of myself for going, and feel so much better already (it'll be 3 weeks tomorrow). I feel stronger, proactive, determined, and happy...and like I'm moving forward.

**Thoughts??
Will you take this challenge?**

Birthday Alley

It happens every year and yet I am NEVER ready for it. How can this be? It must because I'm terrible about planning ahead because I don't feel properly motivated until the deadline is in sight. The problem with this in regard to birthday alley is that then I get overwhelmed and stressed out about it.


You see, I have many family members and friends with birthdays starting February 16th and running through the end of April, so it makes for some crazy scheduling and mailing.

Brother-in-law Jared--February 16th
Niece Ashley--February 20th
Friend Betsy--February 24th
Randy's Dad--February 24th
Sister-in-law Amy M.--February 25th


Brother Adam--March 5th
Friend Michelle--March 14th


Dad--March 17th


Sister Robyn--April 24th


Niece Olivia--April 25th
Friend Claudia--April 30th
Michelle's daughter Eva--April 30th

Now, add in all the bloggers with birthdays coming up...

Diana--March 5th
Stacy--March 6th
Amy W.--March 18th
Becca--March 23rd
Liz--March 19th
Denise--March 26th


Katie--April 2nd
Crystalyn--April 4th

You can see why I might be feeling slightly overwhelmed, especially with my self-imposed need/desire to be thoughtful. (It's a challenge sometimes.) So this is what's on my mind today along with the Excel sheet of good mail addresses and birthdays that I'm working on. Apparently I have very remedial Excel skills so it's harder than it has to be. I'll be passing it along once I get it all figured out and updated.

**How do you stay on top of birthdays?
Does your family give gifts to everyone, just cards or gift certificates?
How can I make myself be better prepared for birthday alley?**

Sunday Thoughts

Church was so fantastic today that I felt completely energized and full of great blog thoughts so I've got stuff to share for weeks to come.

One of the speakers was talking about Man's time versus God's time, which is a super interesting topic to me. It's very challenging to see things in God's time because we never really know when that is, so we have a lifetime of learning patience and having faith enough to believe that things will work out for our benefit if we do everything we can to make it so.

The man speaking today shared these famous scriptures from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 today and reduced me to a blubbering mess. I've heard these many times before, but for some reason in this context I finally felt a glimmer of real understanding.

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

How beautiful is this? As the speaker was reading these verses and I was following along my eyes filled with tears as images of people I know came to mind. There have been births, miscarriages, accidents, health scares, moves, raises, setbacks, fights, injuries, forgiveness, celebrating, loneliness, closeness, etc. It all seemed so clear to me and so beautiful and somehow so much more manageable when viewed as part of the natural circle of life. It was a tender experience.

**What do you think??**

Happy 31st Birthday Amy M.!!!

Clenched with Palpitations

You're not going to believe this, but if you need confirmation just look down at the time I started posting this...that's right 5:03 in the freaking a.m.! Why am I wide awake and blogging so early on a Saturday morning you ask? Let me tell you.

I was dead asleep and dreaming (thanks to Lori stopping by my house to pick up my beloved blanket) when the fire alarm high above the bed went off. I flew out of bed and ran out of the room fearing I would find the house on fire as ALL the fire alarms (which are many) in the house were going off at the same time (piercing and deafening are the words that come to mind). Can you even believe that? Fortunately I remembered my mom telling me about a time when this happened before so I knew I didn't need to panic, it is just the system reminding us to check to make sure they work (shouldn't there be some courtesy feature suggesting noon would be a better time for such a test?).


One problem...the ceilings are very high and the smoke detectors are on them. Andrew stayed in bed (I can't call it the cozy because of the scratchy blankets in this place) for 5 minutes of the blaring alarms (no doubt a veteran of such a nightmare) so it wasn't until he came out of his room covering his ears that I saw that the smoke detector in his room could be reached if I stood on a bar stool (nothing like climbing and balancing at 4:07am). I pressed the button on his alarm and it stopped all the other alarms!! He got back in bed and then Lori and I went back to our beds too. I actually got right back out of bed and dropped to my knees to say a prayer of thanks that there wasn't really a fire and that I was able to get the alarms to stop.


Of course, going back to sleep after such a literal rude-awakening was optimistic. My heart was still racing, every muscle in my body was clenched and ready to flee, and the stupid, little green light of the smoke detector over the bed was so bright that I felt like I had a mocking glare shining down on me. %$#@ I also feared that I had only activated some sort of smoke detector snooze feature, but thought that was crazy so was trying to will myself back to sleep.


Alas, the damn things went off again!! This time I ran (so much running at this hour) to get the bar stool (which will now be a permanent feature in Andrew's room) and stood on it again and pressed the button. This time it wasn't working! I had to think fast (at 4:44am!) and removed the 9-volt battery, this made them stop. So then my hunt (in this massive house) for 9-volt batteries began. My mom is generally well stocked on batteries & such so once I located the drawer with the Costco-sized packs of batteries I was able to exhale...until I saw there were only AA, AAAs and C sized batteries $#@%!



By the time I looked all over the rest of the house trying to find a toy or remote or something to steal a 9 volt battery from I was awake, Andrew was awake and watching Sleeping Beauty and now the smoke detectors (or one of them) is just chirping every minute or so. Good grief!! Apparently I'm not meant to sleep. Freakin Eagle Mountain! (Apparently "Don't Be Cruel" is going to be my theme song, I can't get it out of my head it's just too appropriate.)

**Does anyone know how to stop this?

Are the fates conspiring to make me an early riser?

Can you believe my parents set their

thermostat to 55 degrees at night?**

Edited to add: I'm home and can finally post the photos. I didn't take them while I was in the middle of the crisis, I took them after it was over. Also, the thermostat thing was a fluke my dad said they don't lower it at night.

Like a Zombie, But Different

Whitney and I made it out to Eagle Mountain after an annoying 36 minute drive. My sister Robyn commented that it's only 20 minutes from my house, but she must be suffering from a fever Down Under because it's 30 minutes on a good day to get out here. Plus, there's only one 2-lane road for most of the way and there is tons of traffic, sod trucks, cement trucks and all manner of large construction vehicles to have to drive slowly behind because there's a lot of new development out here (heaven help us all).

Our evening was uneventful, Andrew stayed in his room a lot. Randy brought Landon out (he had his Scout Blue & Gold Banquet) here around 9:00pm and Lori got home from work around then too. After we got the kids to bed Lori and I watched Grey's Anatomy (oh my) and the boy's night of American Idol (frightening really).

Lori went to be around midnight, but I couldn't sleep. I forgot my wonderful blanket and though my parents have a good mattress their blankets and pillows aren't soft and cushy like mine at home. I guess I always have a hard time sleeping in a different place, but it's frustrating when it's 1:30am and the alarm is set for 5:30!! I hate waking up early, it's my Achille's heel, but that's when Andrew needs to be woken up because his bus comes at 6:45am. Good grief.

I went back to bed at 7:00am and as I laid down I realized I was singing "Don't Be Cruel" (Bobby Brown) in my head. This cracked me up. I'm sure it's because I kept thinking how cruel it was to be getting up so early, so my brain did a song search and came up with that. (I've been listening to a great station that plays lots of 80's dance music so I've been hearing this song a lot.) I will leave you will his words...

"Hey yo cutie, what's up with this attitude?

I thought I was being real good to you.

I treat you sweet, take you out at night

but you never say thanks, girl that ain't right."

"Don't be cruel, cause I would never be that cruel to you

(no oh oh)

Don't be cruel, girl you've got to change your attitude.

(no oh oh)

Don't be cruel"

Ahhh, the beauty of the subconscious mind, helping me laugh even though I am freakishly tired.

**Do you have a hard time sleeping away from home?

How many hours of sleep do you need to get by well?

Did you love Bobby Brown's music in the 80's too?**

Doing Time on Timpview Drive

The countdown is on--T minus 1 hr 31 minutes until I need to leave to stop by the post office (must send good mail of course) and then head out West to good ole Eagle Mountain to stay at my parents' house for the next 2 days and 3 nights to take care of my 19 year old brother Andrew. He'll be at school during the day tomorrow, but Eagle Mountain is so far out there that I'm not really keen on running back and forth to come home.


I feel like I have to pack for a week-long trip because I need to have clothes for me and the kids, projects to work on, music to listen, books to read, etc. That's a whole lot of stuff but if I don't bring it then I'll end up feeling like a girl without a country to call her own.


They have "high speed" internet, but it's slower than what I'm used to using and they have a moody laptop so blogging isn't as convenient as it is for me at home. I don't mean to sound like such a whiner, but it takes some mental preparations to be ready for such a stint.


The only perk to Eagle Mountain is that Amie lives there. I can actually see her house from the back of my parents' house so she's only 1/2 mile away. We're going to get together for Creative Friday (Michelle may schlep out to join us) and possibly Creative Saturday as well. It has the potential to be a decent weekend, it just depends on how well all of our kids cooperate and whether the creative juices are flowing or not.


The other good thing about their house is that they have a huge, jetted tub. I've only tried it a couple of times before. It's gynormous (though not like Amie's tub which fits a family of 4) so coverage of my girth isn't a problem (like it is at my house in my standard-sized tub) so I may end up getting to soak and read for awhile. We shall see.

So I must run (not really because I'm not wearing a sports bra) and hurry to gather all my gear. Wish me luck...

**What are you doing today?
Do mind staying at your parents' house?
What's the tub situation at your house?**

Take 10 Blogs and Call Me In The Morning

Some words about self-portraits. Many of you seemed concerned about your appearance for Self-Portrait Tuesdays, one of the very cool things about this project is that it is an opportunity to document the real you. My portrait yesterday certainly wasn't a beauty, but it was definitely real. You don't even have to take pictures of your face, you can get creative with it. It will be more fun and meaningful if we can throw our inhibitions and self-consciousness aside and just have fun with it. We all know that we have our frightening-looking moments so why are we so afraid of letting people see them? It will be liberating. (Need I remind you of some of the frightening photos I've posted of myself?)


It feels like spring today and I've been cleaning all morning (after returning from the gym). I've got music blasting, laundry going, dusting, vacuuming (with the edging tool--my favorite), bathrooms scrubbed etc. It's wonderful. The kids' bathroom was so frightening I can only compare it to a busy truck-stop bathroom. I have no idea how it's possible for it to get that bad, especially when I ask Landon (almost daily) "How's your bathroom looking?" He's in charge of using the Clorox wipes to keep the counter clean, but apparently I've been assuming too much. I'm horrified by the things I've seen today and will spare you the details, but it was foul. (In my house!!!?)


Last night I went to bed at 8:45. I had a slight headache and was tired so I thought I'd read for awhile and then sack out. I woke up at 1:30am with my head still hurting. I took some ibuprofen and decided to blog for a bit. After reading and commenting on about 10 blogs I made myself go to bed. It was kind of a bizarre, middle-of-the-night activity but it did the trick and I woke up feeling good.

I got this cute card from Claudia yesterday. Her cards and letters are always a treat. Thanks Missy!


Carlo sent me this very nice thank you note and used one of her new good mail labels. Thanks Carlo!


I also got this lovely bracelet from Dana as payment for the many good mail labels I make for her jewelry business. It's a great trade. Thanks Dana!

**What are your thoughts about self-portraits?
Do you have spring-cleaning fever?
Are your kids so filthy sometimes
that you wonder how you're related?
Any good mail in the works?**

Self-Portrait Tuesday

I saw Michelle's great response to Lelly's invitation for us all to participate in Self-Portrait Tuesday. You can click here to read more about it.


This is how I look most days. I rarely ever wear my hair up when I'm out and about, but when I'm home it's pretty much always pulled back. Here I am sitting at my computer (looking at Lelly's blog), printing good mail labels, and listening to a tv show in the background. This really couldn't be more me.

**Will you post a self-portrait today?**

P.S. Here's a link to an official Self-Portrait Tuesday site just to give you an idea of all different ways to do take pictures of yourself.

My Word for the Year

After 6 weeks of trying to decide which word I would like to focus on this year I have finally chosen the word LOVE. It was a tough decision for me because there are so many great words that fit well with my goals for this year, but the word love encompasses all of them.

First of all, I want to more fully understand what love is.
I want to give and receive love.

I want to more fully:
Love my choices.
Love my body.
Love my strengths.
Love my family.
Love my friends.
Love my callings.
Love my flaws enough to change them.
Love my chances.
Love my testimony of the gospel.
Love my passions.
Love my talents.
Love my quirks.
Love my marriage.
Love my children.
Love my surroundings.
Love my travels.
Love my blessings.
Love my challenges.
Love my motives.
Love my character.
Love the things I say.
Love the things I do.
Love this year.
Love this phase of life.
Love my future.

I want to think, act and be more full of love. I want to become a hugger (not easy for me). I want to reach beyond my comfort zones, and believe I can become the person I see in my mind. I want to be a more active participant in my own life, rather than a bystander. I would like there to be NO DOUBT that I feel this way about all aspects of my life.

**Are you choosing a word for the year?
What's your word and how has it affected you so far?**

Where to start??

Once again I'm totally overwhelmed by the thought of trying to recover from 3 days without posting. I've got Shmalentine's Day pictures, Creative Friday, Gym Status Report, Whitneyisms, Good Mail, Updates to my wall of frames, etc. You can see my dilemma.

These are the goodies Randy gave me for Shmalentine's Day. I enjoyed everything, but my favorite part was his funny explanations for each item.


Randy's amusing card (I cropped out the personal part).

The load of stuff I worked on Creative Friday at Michelle's house. Very satisfying.

I'm loving the gym and have gone Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the past 2 weeks! I actually want to go and haven't tried to talk myself out of going, even when my schedule has gotten complicated. This is huge for me!

Whitney made shoes out of empty candy boxes. I had taken the boxes off the table in her room (foolishly thinking they were trash) and the next thing I knew she had transformed them into shoes! Creative genius, I think yes!

This is the awesome, McDreamy Valentine Alison sent me (along with cute stickers for Whitney). Thanks Alison! I have it hanging on my fridge for long-time viewing pleasure.

Jana did a Valentine's Good Mail Express Delivery and gave me this very cute little mailbox, fantastic cookies (I ate 4 of the 6) and some fun Making Memories items. Thanks Jana!

Jenn mailed this great Valentine's package. I love everything! Thanks Jenn.

Penny (one of the sweet ladies I visit teach) dropped off this cute garland for Valentine's day. It doesn't go with my house at all, but I am so touched by her thoughtfulness that I want to find a place for it.

Amy M. sent me this creative genius Valentine and wrote a sweet note. Thanks Amy!


Hannah sent me one of her great Valentine's items. This is such a good idea. I hung it on my bulletin and will be reading it multiple times a day. Thanks Hannah!

I was with Michelle when she was making her darling Valentine's, but it was still a total treat getting one in the mail. Thanks Michelle!

I got this cute thank you note from Amie. It was pleasing on all levels. Thanks Amie!


I got this darling thank-you note from Lisa. Thanks for your kind words!

Crystalyn sent me this great magnetic definition of what it means to be a happiness maker. I love this thing and have it hanging on my fridge. Thanks Crystalyn!

Melinda sent me this cute package and thank you note. Thanks Melinda! (Notice that they stamped the postmark on her good mail label, I think it looks very cool.)

I got this cute card from Natasha. I love her hand-written good mail stamp on the envelope. Thanks Natasha!


I got this cute thank you from Sista #2 (Janae), so nice. Thanks Janae!

Chanel sent me this very cute thank you note on Saturday. This envelope is so pretty.

I finally switched out a few of the photos on my photo wall and added a couple new frames. This delights me to no end. It's one of those little projects I always think I'm going to do, but somehow don't make time to do. I finally did on Friday morning and was giddy about it.

Today is President's Day and Randy has taken the kids to Logan to visit a friend of his (who happens to have 7 kids for ours to play with) so I am having a glorious day of solitude at home, bliss.

**How do you recover from multiple days of not blogging?
What home projects are you wanting to get busy with?
Did you send anything Valentine's Day? I'm bummed
out that I didn't manage my time well enough to do that.**

Note to the Amys--Could you please put your last initial next to your name when commenting? Because if your picture doesn't show up it's hard to figure out who is who. Thanks!

Sunday Thoughts

It's crazy, but this feels like my very first post because I've had 4 days without the internet. What a grim state of affairs. I hope that doesn't happen again. So take a lesson from my experience and remember to be thankful for your functioning internet. (You may even want to give you keyboard a little hug.)

Last Sunday in church we sang hymn #223 Have I Done Any Good? (click link to hear the music) and I couldn't help but think what a wonderfully simple song it is, how beautifully it articulates the way I want to live my life and what the spirit of good mail embodies. Here are the words.

"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed in-deed.

Has anyone's burden been lighter today,
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help help was I there?

{Hannah & Mya bringing us Strawberry Shortcakes
when I was neck-deep in babysitting my nieces.}

Then wake up and do something more
than dream of mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy
beyond measure, a blessing of duty and love.

{Whitney's sweet friend Madison bringing her
a homemade card, cupcakes and a balloon after her surgery.}

There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying "Some time I'll try"
But go and do something to-day.

Tis noble of man to work and to give,
Love's labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.

{Jenn bringing me my favorite lunch, just
to brighten my day!}

Then wake up and do something more
than dream of mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy
beyond measure, a blessing of duty and love.

I love the simplicity of these words, there are no metaphors to interpret. It's straightforward--do something good for those around you, opportunities present themselves, don't put it off for another day, stop thinking about yourself and just do something! Beautiful no?

**What do you think?
Do you put off doing nice things for others?
Have you become more aware of opportunities
to serve in your life?**

P.S. While clicking through my good mail gallery for photos for this post, I was once again filled with gratitude and love for all of you who have been so generous with me. It's inspiring. Thanks!