For example, I rarely make a big, official dinner. I make sure the kids get something to eat at regular meal times, but our house definitely isn't a "Hi honey you're home, here's your hot meal and your slippers" kind of house. But some of the husbands in the class commented that they appreciate that their wife always has dinner ready for them. I cringed a little bit when I heard this, but know that that's just not my way.
Randy spoke up and said that he appreciated the fact that our house is always clean, because he likes that a lot (this was news to me). He said he appreciated the fact that the laundry was always done, that he always has clean socks and underwear, and that he doesn't mind ironing his shirts because he always has plenty of clean ones to chose from. (It was a little bit surreal to sit in a room of about 40 people and hear Randy complimenting me.)
It was also cool to listen to the different things everyone had to say. The beauty of it is that we're all different and can do the things that work for us. This got me thinking about blogging and the things we all post about. I know we all have a tendency to bristle at the posts that strike a nerve with us, whether it's because it's a pet peeve, a weakness, a strength or a desire, because as women we have a tendency to feel threatened by other women's victories.
I think this is sad and it's something that I've been working on and have definitely gotten better about over the past couple years of blogging. So I had sort of an epiphany about this yesterday as I checked my comments on my Sunday post about visiting teaching. Obviously visiting teaching is something I feel strongly about, so it comes easily for me and is something I write about. But there are plenty of things I'm not good at that I don't end up writing about, and I'm guessing this is true of everyone. So rather than reading blogs and feeling threatened or like we're somehow less, why not just take the good from each others' experiences and remember we have other strengths?
I could list strengths from every blog I read, and most of them would be very different from my own. Our blogs are reflections of who we are and who we want to be...not who we're not.
Photos examples are...
Claudia's gorgeous living room
Michelle's beautiful angel food cake
Kristi's marathon finish
Amy M.'s amazing studio and talents
Amie's family focus and marriage
{These are just a few examples
of people I know well.}
Claudia's gorgeous living room
Michelle's beautiful angel food cake
Kristi's marathon finish
Amy M.'s amazing studio and talents
Amie's family focus and marriage
{These are just a few examples
of people I know well.}
**What do you think???**
41 comments:
if i had time to comment i would be the first. but i don't so i will be back.
Jill! I love this post!!! I really enjoyed your uplifting thoughts. Instead of feeling diminished by the strengths and achievements of other friends and women, celebrating each others' different skills is the way to go!
I also loved how you said our blogs reveal who we are and want to be, rather than who we aren't. What a good reminder that life is to be lived in that exact way. :)
Jill, you are amazing. You said this so perfectly. Thank you!
One more thing. This post needs a picture of you making everyone feel so loved and helping us all to be happy being exactly who we are!
Yes, Yes. We do need to rejoice in other people's talents, and be happy about ours too. It isn't a competition, and there isn't any reason to feel like someone else's strength means we are weak. We've all got something great to share, and that is wonderful.
Thanks!
Our ward is on the 2nd rotation of the marriage and family class, and my DH and I have yet to be included in the shift (we're both in Primary and the other members of the Presidency have been in the class). Anyway, reading your "teasers" just makes me SOOO excited to take this class and gain knowledge from it.
Thanks for sharing with us.
What great thoughts!! And so true!! I remember when Brandon and I were first married and would hang out with other married couples, we would be so SHOCKED by some of their relationships. What was "normal"to them seemed wrong to me and we often wondered if some of our friends had bad marriages. After a few years (and some growing up time) we realised that everyone is different, everyone parents differently, everyone loves differently....and aren't we all just thankful that there is someone out there that compliments us and that we can have a good relationship with (despite what others see as good or normal)!
I love your blogging comments too...I think it is so great to read about other woman and their stregnths. It makes me want to be better at a lot of things but also to see that we really are all just so different! Thanks for great thoughts!
Well Jill, you know this is perfect timimg for me, given the post I gathered the courage to post over the weekend. I finally decided that, like you said, my blog needs to be a reflection of who I am and not who other people THINK I am. Or who they think I should be. After all, it is my blog. As I said on my blog, I would rather be loved for who I am than hated for who I am not!
I have learned so much about other people since I started blogging - their strengths, the way they parent, and interests that I have in common with them. I also have grown more comfortable with my own "differentness." If we weren't so different life would be boring.
I meant hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. This whole topic has gotten me worked up!
There are a few blogs that I read specifically because I gain so much from that persons' strengths and talents, things that I admire and want to emulate in my own life. I think that, in part, is what has kept me blogging this long.
I think it was Michelle who posted once about the one thing everyone likes is water and I thought, yeah, I don't want to be water. I want to be me and if you don't like it, then move on. I don't want to waste time fretting about everyone liking me or what I have to say. Kinda like, "this is who I am- take it or leave it."
I loved what you said about Randy...how thoughtful and loving...even sans dine^...but serioulsy if Alf ever did that I would just DIE...and I probably won't since I know he will never say such things in comments...in private? I am still hoping--this reminds me, I am part words of affirmation, I so truly desire them...When you said "Our blogs are a reflection of who we are and who we want to be...not who we're not"--I love this last part...it is soo true, your own blog is not who you are not, how could it be? at least not for long...although that struck a cord with me...because there are plenty of girls out there...that I would love to emulate, blog wise and what not...but the only thing I can do is practice or learn to incorporate it to my life as best I can.
You're very right. This is a good forum for this point.
I love that Randy made those comments in Sunday School!
What a great way to say this, Jill. The pictures speak volumes. I'm so glad Randy validated all your work--what a great guy.
Well said, Jill. I often wish I was more witty or well-written. I am what I am. My blog is what it is. It has been a good thing for me so I will just continue on with that.
You're also right that we need to celebrate each other's victories a little more. I try to remember and practice the law of abundance.
I think each couple has their ways of making each other happy and what works best for them in their home.
How sweet of Randy to say all of those things in a big group. I think that shows what kind of guy he is.
I agree that we all have strengths and weaknesses. I personally think that is why I enjoy blogging so much. I love all the inspiration and things I learn from so many woman and their families.
Beautiful post. Though, I don't find myself so much bristling as realizing -- Wow, I need to be a lot better. That is why I love reading blogs. I am drawn to those that inspire me. Entertainment is good too, though.
this is full of great insight, jill! i often feel like who i am isn't good enough, especially when i read other women's blogs who seem to have lives i would LOVE to live and qualities i would love to have. but i don't know their whole story- and i am learning i need to appreciate my own life and how it is. i love seeing what other people are doing and how they are getting to the place they want to be.
i really appreciate your honesty and the posts and comments you write. it makes me think a lot more about things that are really important. :)
Great post!
It has always bothered me that us women compare ourselves & don't always cheer for each other- me included- forever.
You have really hit the nail on the head with this post.
I love that blogging give me & others a chance to express ourselves.
Thanks Jill!
I absolutely love this blog. Very well put and something that I needed to hear and to definitely ponder. Thanks!
this was a great post and so very true. It's very easy for me to feel threatened by all of the very talented people I blog with every day, but it's also very easy to be inspired. We all have so many talents and are lucky we can share them with each other daily. Great post!
Such great thoughts Jill (as always). I think we all do the best we can and usually the things we are good at. I think we need to occasionally do a Life Check and re-evaluate and challenge ourselves to grow in new areas, at least a little. Blogging is such a wonderful way to connect, share, inspire and cheer one another on to be just a little bit better.
What sweet words from Randy.
Lovely post, and point well made. How wonderful to hear Randy say those great things about you. I love when that happens--and when we are a little surprised:)
That is what I love about blogs. The good uplifting things others share. And the way I can post about the positive in my life and how it all uplifts me.
Great post Jill. I love what blogging has done for me in the last couple years. I would have never thought it would be so positive and how many life lessons I could learn.
Love the comment from Randy. Appreciation and recognition are always a good thing.
What do I think? So true. And you are amazing to voice what we all can so readily Amen!
Thanks for the epiphany. I always think when I get down that everyone else seems perfect and I feel so full of imperfections that they have weaknesses too they are trying not to show. But why can't I put a positive spin on it? Remembering my own strengths when I am cheering others is the key ingredient I usually lack.
Love the thoughts. I wish I knew how to not compare myself to others. I know it's not helpful, or even accurate most of the time. I just haven't been able to figure out how to stop myself from doing it yet.
I believe without any doubt that is Satan's most successful tool right now. He take a group of women, beautiful, diligent, caring, talented mothers, and make them all feel like they are failures by whispering in their ears that they are not doing good enough. It's certainly not true, but it plants a seed of doubt and makes us insecure.
Thanks for the beautiful words. You spread so much good on your blog. I really enjoy reading it.
I love your notes from this class. Jimmy and I need to take it...
I feel like I say "everyone has their thing" a lot... but I wonder if I act like I believe that all the time. I do know that no one really does it all, we can't... thanks for the reminder to appreciate the things we are good at... in ourselves and others.
Very nice of Randy to appreciate the good. I think that is the perfect example of realizing what you do have instead of sitting there thinking "I wish she would do that" very cool that he spoke up... I bet he made some other men's train of thought change and start thinking of good things too. (PS - I think this is a pro acts of service comment.)
I'm with Hannah and Melanie and I like your point Jill - I gain so much from seeing the strengths and ideas of other bloggers. I love that I'm inspired to do better through it instead of the other way around.
Amen, Sista!
I find when I read blogs that I am inspired to do better. This is what I love about blogging. Instantly, I find myself trying something new or looking at something in a different perspective. I have found some amazing women out there.
I LOVE that Randy spoke up just when you were having that thought about not making a hot meal each night. What timing! Great compliments from Randy!!
I suppose the reason why I enjoy reading YOUR blog for this past year is just for the fact that you throw things out there... Makes me think. I love that! We are all here to learn from each other.
Thanks for this post Jill--it is a freeing feeling to recognize and joy in others' accomplishments while still feeling secure and confident in yourself. I love it that we all have different strengths and we can grow from others'.
what a great sunday lesson to hear such kind words from your husband. what a pick-me-up that must have been.
i love that highlighted different people you know. being inspired by others is one of the main reasons i started blogging in the first place. i've found that how i feel about others' accomplishments depends completely on where "i'm at." sometimes i feel completely inspired. other times, i'm embarrassed to admit, i have felt maybe a little jealous or threatened. again, totally a reflection of where i'm at. i think in the recent past i've found so much that inspires me on others' blogs, that i wonder what i have to offer on my blog.
as always, good thoughts to ponder. why as women do we tend to be threatened by others' greatness? we ALL are great!
Okay, Jill, so I've been lurking around your blog ever since the Witch Switch, afraid to comment (even after all that Wendi said on her blog!), but now I have to! Ever since I first checked out your blog, YOU were the one who has kept inspiring ME w/ so many of your wonderful insights and thoughts! I kept finding myself checking your blog for something new that would motivate me to be better. I think your thoughts are so very well spoken (or written?), and I always want to shout AMEN, too! Especially this time! Sometimes I do read blogs and wish it were me, but for the most part, I find myself wishing I lived closer to someone so I could draw on their strengths more often. Thanks to blogging, I still feel like that need is met. What wonderful women are out there! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! :o) - Deanna
i think in the class i would have said, "if jon just emptied the dishwasher-he'd get more serious loving!" hahah--
i feel the same as the other bloggers, it has helped tremendously to see how other women live their righteous lives and how we learn and grow and take their examples into our own lives..that has certainly happened with me anyway..
Jill-
Fantastic post. I know I've tried to make my blog a truer representation of the person I am, not the person I wish I was, which is hard, especially since it would be easy to create this "other person".
I do enjoy this post. I have said this before, but in most things, I feel like a mutt. I am constantly aware of people that can do anything that I do, better. But...there are things I do well, too, and that's all I can focus on and worry about. And instead of feeling threatened or jealous, I can enjoy other's talents and perhaps aspire.
'I know we all have a tendency to bristle at the posts that strike a nerve with us, whether it's because it's a pet peeve, a weakness, a strength or a desire, because as women we have a tendency to feel threatened by other women's victories.'
i feel that way WAY more than I wasnt to lately and I really hate it. It makes me mad at myself and feel bad that I must be really failing if it affects me so... I am in a low point and know that at higher points I do not feel this way, so I will try to heed your words and change my attitude.
Jill this is an excellent post. Something I have been thinking about a lot lately as well. I often wonder why we are so hard on each other when really all we are trying to do is our best. I get it though, I feel that ping of jealousy at times; however, lately I've been trying really hard to understand, like you said, that we are all different and all fabulous in our own way. I know I wrote this in a post once, but how boring would the world be if we were all the same? I'm glad we each have different strengths because then I know I can lean on others for help when I need it or get inspired. I know you have certainly done that for me many times.
I feel like my last sentence didn't make much sense, but what I was trying to say was you have certainly been an inspiration to me and helped me with many things that I've struggled with. Thank you Jill.
Very well-said, Jill. It is not easy to stop comparing ourselves to others, and I do often feel like I don't measure up. I am actively working on rejoicing over others' successes and talents, because I know that is the way I want to be. But why is it so difficult sometimes to find my own strengths? Good food for thought.
I loved all the comments on this as much as your words. So true!
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