Better Than Expected

We survived the funeral better than we expected (though I still managed to get a killer headache.) Randy helped by being an Usher, so I was on my own. We got there 30 minutes early so I ended up sitting and reading my scriptures and listening to the prelude music. It was quite peaceful in the chapel, and so beautiful because it was filled with lots of brightly colored flowers. It seemed totally fitting that there were so many happy, yellow flowers.


There was a family with 3 little kids sitting in front of me, and they're 5 year old kept asking his mom questions. I cried more listening to him than I did from the rest of the funeral. At one point I leaned forward and said to his mother, "He's really not helping to make this any easier is he?" She laughed and said, "I know he has to talk about things, but this is rough."

Here is a sampling of his questions.

"Mom, why are you crying are you sad?"
"Did Matthew go to a new family?"
"Could this happen to me?"
"Mom, you would be so sad if I died. You would cry and cry and cry until I came back."

The hardest part for me was when they brought in Matthew's little coffin, with his parents crying as they walked behind it and then the huge procession of family members that followed behind.

The actual funeral was fairly dry eyed for me (shockingly so). I don't know if I had run out of tears or if this gave me more closure or what. Matthew was such a happy kid and so exceptional that he seemed too good for this world. They said his life was a series of miracles because they had had a really hard time conceiving him in the first place, and then when he was born he wasn't breathing and almost died. They have felt lucky every step of the way in his life, so even though he was only 5 years old, they are very grateful for those 5 years!

After the funeral, the huge family procession went to the cemetery while the people who stayed at the church made magic happen. It was just like the other night when we put the hygiene kits together, but this time it was taking down 100 folding chairs, then setting up 10 tables with 9 chairs around each of them, putting table clothes, centerpieces and place settings at each place and setting up a food serving area and multiple displays about Matthew. It happened so quickly because there was so much help, it was amazing to be a part of it. I absolutely love it when people pitch in and help and just get things done.

Another really cool thing was that all the 11 and 12 year boy scouts and leaders were there in their uniforms. Matthew's father serves in the Young Men's organization so he's a scout leader as well and would often take Matthew to their activities. So there were around 15 young men in uniform with red eyes setting the tables and arranging things because they were so happy to help and wanted to do something for Matthew and his family. It was the sweetest thing. I found myself thinking about what a huge impact Matthew's death has had on all of us, but especially on these young guys. I'm sure this experience has strengthened their testimonies of The Plan of Salvation and the importance of families. What a gift Matthew has given to them! Here's a link to his obituary.

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughtful comments this week!