Thursday, November 04, 2010

D-D-Definitely Wednesday

The first couple of days of work and post-work busyness have gone well; I even managed to make dinner on Tuesday afternoon before heading off to the Ward Service Project and had programmed the timed-bake feature on the oven so that it would be done when we returned. This gave us 30 minutes to eat and get ready for Landon's band concert. I was feeling rather pleased with myself and had the "Enjoli" commercial from the 70's in my head the whole time (do you remember it?).

Then came Wednesday. Work went great (only 3-10 minor panic attacks about 7th grade math no biggie) , and I even got to leave 15 minutes early which meant a less-hurried trip at Costco. I was feeling good that I could get a decent amount of groceries this time and that I didn't have to be to our Relief Society dinner until 6:00pm. I even had thoughts of reading in the cozy...foolish girl.


So remember that cream pie I mentioned the other day? Well, I didn't have time to make it Monday or Tuesday (I suppose if I had stayed up late I could have done it but I'm trying to be responsible and proactive about getting enough sleep, also we don't have a Marie Calendars near us) so I switched my plan to Pecan Pie instead. The thing is, Pecan Pie takes like an hour and 10 minutes to bake so I had to scramble to get it made and in the oven BEFORE putting my Costco goodies away. This was no small thing for me because I like things to be clean and orderly before I begin another project. I felt positively Rainmanesque about it..."must put the food away, definitely put food away now, have to do it now, d-d-definitely now".


Also causing me distress were the dishes in the sink. I know that most normal people have dishes in their sink a good portion of the time, but I do not! I can't stand them in there unless they're soaking, and even then those should only be in the left side of the sink so that the disposal side is free and clear. (I'm not crazy, that's perfectly logical and good planning right?)


But today there was a pan soaking on the left side which was leftover from last night (and which really should have been washed by Randy (aka The House Husband) this morning. And to make matters worse there was a pan in the right side of the sink (supposedly soaking) with utensils in it and a few cups as well. (You see, when people in this house see dishes in the sink they think they can put their dishes there too, when really they should be loading them into the dishwasher.) Aargh!


So all of this clutter was driving me crazy as I was hurrying to make my pecan pie. Plus Whitney was next to me making "ants on a log" for the first time and managed to get her hands and the jar covered in peanut butter. I also discovered that the left side of the sink was clogged by rice kernels that had fallen in there during my hasty measuring for the previous night's dinner. You know what happens to rice kernels when they get wet? They blow up! I tried sticking a knife down there to help them along, but that didn't work. I can't believe how stupid I was to have measured the rice over that side of the sink AND then to have thought they would rinse down easily. Add to this the chaos (which bugs me on a good day) of our very loud washing machine spinning out a load (which shakes the whole house and makes hearing anything else almost impossible) at the same time, and I was thinking "see, if I wasn't gone all day at work then this laundry would be done and these dishes would be done and the pie would be made and I would be happily helping Whitney...but noooooo!"

At this point I was ready to start screaming expletives. Really and truly that's what I wanted to do more than anything else. I wanted to give in to my frustrations, because at times like these it's like tapping into a cumulative grudge. Every frustration I've got is bubbling under the surface ready to come out ala Vesuvius. I was so close, seriously like an 1/8 of an lava emotion away from losing it.

But since I'm all about "The Power" these days and since my kids were nearby, I reigned it in and talked myself through it. I had a truly grown-up moment where I saw what I needed to do, saw what I was working with and recognized that giving into those frustrations was beneath me (Holy Epiphany Batman!) because if I'm all about being positive and Christ-like until things get ugly then what am I really about? At least I think that's what I realized while standing next to the oven with gooey pie batter all over me, and really no one will be more surprised by this than me (or except maybe Randy, or Michelle, or Amie or my family) but I really and truly didn't freak out. I baked the pie, put the groceries away, washed the dishes, poured Drano down the sink, and then remembered to breathe. Not too shabby.







Or is it? Randy came home while I was finishing this up and the first thing I said to him was, "You've got to do the dishes in the morning. If this set-up is going to work you have to do the morning shift better." And as I recounted this incident to him (which seemed comical as I wrote it) I got all teary and emotional. Maybe I am crazy or maybe I'm only 3 days into my new normal and am having growing pains...the jury is out.


**What would you have done?
At which point would you have lost it?
Do you remember the Enjoli ad?
Are you fine until you talk about something
and then end up being surprised by the emotions?**

Comment Window Tidbit: Dang it, I accidentally set this post to publish at 8:09PM instead of AM, so now instead of having a bunch of comments to read I got a whole lot a nothin.

Also, the only reason I thought to take any pictures was because Whitney showed me her peanut-butter covered hands. So I took a picture of those and then snapped the other two.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you are amazing! Really. Going back to work has got to be such a juggling act. I tip my hat to you!

Bravo for handling everything as well as you are & it's OK to have some lava flows occasionally! :)

michelle said...

The thing I'm most impressed by about all of this is that you stopped and took time to document it all with photos! If I was ready to lose it, I don't think I could have managed that.

But I'm also impressed that you didn't freak out and did everything when you could do it.

I d-d-definitely think you're having growing pains, of course! And having Randy take care of the dishes in the morning seems a small price to pay for you getting a job.

At what point would I have lost it? When the pie filling boiled over and made a huge mess on the stove. That brings out the profanity in me.

"I can bring home the bacon – fry it up in a pan..." I used to act out that commercial when I was growing up!

Andy said...

"I can bring home the bacon..buh..buh...buh..buh..bwahhh!" Thank you for that memory!

Also... you are NOT crazy!

And lastly, that you even agreed to bake a pie and go to ANYTHING on your first few days of work is stellar. Cut yourself some slack and learn say NO. Easier said than done, I know.

This is also coming from a woman with a stack of dishes NOT soaking in her sink right now. And most times!

Amie said...

I wondered how you were having a post each day before work. I thought you were against altering the time so I hadn't thought of you doing it the night before. Duh and relief because I was feeling even more loser-ish if you were getting up earlier to get in all the things you want to do.

I would have lost it or left the mess. Probably the latter. The house is always a mess because I am a run in make the pie and leave both messes. It's dumb really. Especially when your post seems so logical and when I do just work my way through I am always surprised when I come out on the other side how "easy" it felt. That never sticks though. I'm impressed.

You had so many words/references that I don't know. I have no idea what Enjoli is... it reminds me of Jumanji but I doubt they are related. Ya, I could google. But I'm not.

crystal said...

"Maybe I am crazy or maybe I'm only 3 days into my new normal and am having growing pains...the jury is out."

Sister, you're crazy BECAUSE you're having growing pains! It won't last long--I have such faith in your household management skills. And in your coping skills. And also in your adaptability skills.

crystal said...

I just posted on facebook last night that I've decided I completely identify with the mother in Mommy Dearest & have decided she's completely normal. All mothers I know have meltdowns now & then.

And at least you are spared the screaming, tired toddler during these pm hours. Seriously--it's a blessing. Count it.

crystal said...

I just posted on facebook last night that I've decided I completely identify with the mother in Mommy Dearest & have decided she's completely normal. All mothers I know have meltdowns now & then.

And at least you are spared the screaming, tired toddler during these pm hours. Seriously--it's a blessing. Count it.

crystal said...

I have no idea why that comment posted twice. Would you like me to bring dinner tomorrow night? I was supposed to bring it to someone in my ward, but there was a mix-up. Beef barley mushroom soup. Let me know if mushrooms repulse your kids. Or beef. Or barley.

Natasha said...

I totally feel your pain. The afternoons are crazy for me after work. I don't like dishes in my sink either. Waiting until the last minute to make a pie would have put me over the edge though.

everything pink! said...

that commercial was a classic!!

An-joe-lei!

'
Girl change is hard! Cut your self lots and lots of slack. I agree with mMichelle, you would never been able to document if you had truly lost it. And that may keep us all on top in life by being photography mode.

You can do this. And I would have lost it and started crying probably when I walked in the door.

I always have dishes in my sink and wish I didn't.

Charlotte said...

I'm sure you're just experiencing growing pains. I can relate with all the changes my life has taken recently. My emotions often take me by surprise. Bah.

You can do this! It's just something new. Something that's helped me adjust to change before is framing things in this way: it doesn't have to be better or worse--it's just different.

Courtney said...

You're doing awesome!

I'd have flipped out. I can be incredibly productive while totally freaking out. Whitney would have been pushed with her peanut butter to the other side of counter in a, "Get Out Of My Kitchen!" maneuver. How the heck did she get the peanut butter everywhere anyhow? lol

Um, I was born in 1985.

Sometimes. Guess it always depends on the situation.

Amber said...

The lava-rage, I am so feeling it! My sink is constantly filled with dishes these days because it is black and huge, so things get lost in there and you don't see them until you peer over the sink.

It is so, so hard to start an entirely new life and routine. But to add your schedule to it? Band, relief society, etc. etc. was making me want to swear. Sheesh!!

Robyn said...

Wow, this is total recipe for meltdown. I'm impressed that you handled it so well. I think it takes so much control to stay calm in these situations and not blame everyone else- sometimes they just happen.

Working definitely minimizes the time you have to do things- those you want to do and those you have to do. I am sure you'll get used to your new schedule in no time... but for the first week I think you're doing quite well. Still taking photos, blogging, etc. No, this is not a crisis.

Yes, I remember the ad!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

I agree with the above: documenting the meltdown must certainly have helped to circumvent it. Unless you were doing that for proof and to strengthen your case!

Rebekah said...

You know, it is what it is. If you can embrace that thought, life will be much better.

jenn said...

I would have lost it with the "ants on a log" and almost did just reading your post. Kids have such a way for trying new and messy things at the most inopportune times!!

Way to "keep it together man!"

becca said...

Oh Jill! I am proud of you....that was very grown up. I would have lost it for sure, and I might have taken that dirty pan out of the sink and thrown it at the comment about "the morning shift" :)

I manage to lose track of time and end up with huge messes and baking that I am trying to rush...and I am home all day. Cut yourself some slack. You are doing great!!

Heidi said...

I wanted to introduce myself to you as I have been a blog lurker of yours for a long time. My name is Heidi and I live in Arizona. I love your blog, how often you post and your refreshing honesty! I am inspired to finally leave a comment after reading about your first few days of going back to work. I went back to work in August of 2009 after being home with my daughter for almost 10 years. It was really, REALLY hard but it was necessary for our family. I got a job at my daughter's elementary school (all the years of volunteering was super helpful to getting my job). While the beginning was hard (lots of growing pains) I can honestly say that getting the job was the best thing for me and our family! I really do love working at her school and because I get to still take her to school, pick her up and be off when she is off, I still feel like a "stay-at-home" Mom. Hang in there. It will get better and you will settle into your new normal. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and wondeful blog. I enjoy it immensly! If anyone inspires me to write a blog it is you and Kristi at Everything Pink. Someday. I hope you have a super fabulous first weekend off!