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I went to a Parent/Teacher conference for Whitney last week and was surprised by a couple things her teacher had to say.
- Whitney spends so much time drawing that she sometimes misses instruction and has to come ask me for help later. She also distracts others around her because they want to see what she is drawing.
- She was assigned a partner to work with for a Revolutionary War project involving text and illustration. When Whitney's partner was asked what he contributed to the project he said, "Nothing, she wouldn't let me help!" (I was horrified by this until the teacher clarified that he is the kind of kid who is more than happy to let the other person do all of the work...but still.)
Also expressed during this conference was that Whitney prefers to work by herself than in groups even if the assignment is specifically for the sake of learning to work in groups (uh-oh). This was the first time I have ever come away from one of these feeling panicked. This girl has a stubborn streak that makes me nervous. I know that often there are personality traits that don't jive well in childhood but can serve us well as adults, but I'm at a loss as to how to help her.
**Thoughts??**
Comment Window Tidbit: I am battling some attitude problems these days and am feeling rather unsatisfied with life right now. I think I have issues with repetition. It's hard to get up and go to work AGAIN every day, even though it's not bad when I'm there. I feel like I can't do all the things I want to do at home and I have been getting headaches which shut me down so the afternoon hours are useless. Wah!!
17 comments:
Warning...not a parent-
I'm not sure this is an issue worth fretting over. While acknowledgement is important she surely displays a creative side that is worth nurturing.
All's I know is that is SOME picture (think Charlotte's web in Wilbur's pen).
I was fascinated looking at it. I loved the shoe flying off.
I agree with Ann. Whitney is clearly talented in other ways and we can't expect our kids to be perfect in every aspect of their lives (I am reminding myself of this constantly as well). Definitely acknowledge but don't fret.
I am finally getting over a slump myself. I just can't seem to function in January. I am like a lizard. :)
Schools try to fit every shape of peg into the same round hole. Currently the idea of group projects somehow preparing children for the working world is all the rage. Unfortunately, this does not work well for everyone. It is just my opinion, but I think creative people in particular don't necessarily work well in groups. (I know it is true for me.) I also think the group thing promotes mediocrity in that it brings everyone down to the lowest common denominator. Either that, or the smart/talented do all the work and the othes get a free ride. HOwever, drawing when she should be listening to the instructions is something to be concerned about. Parenting is hard. Good luck and the drawing is awesome.
This is one of the reasons I moved Luci to another school. They didn't appreciate how her individual traits could be strengths.
These things will serve Whitney well in adulthood-- being a go-getter is a good thing!
And you are already doing things to foster her love of art at home-- I know you have done art lessons etc which is what I would suggest....allow plenty of time for creativity at home WHICH YOU DO!
If this is the worst thing said about Whitney, her worst "fault," etc then I say it's all good.
Just my perspective from another mom with an 11 y.o. girl.
I'm whiny with you today. Thinking about life long term is shutting me down and making me panic.
I like Gail's comment about your post.
Just so you know, Jeremy (who has employed 100's of people) thinks that the idea of having to work in a group is laughable. It so rarely apples to the workplace, or real life at all. Now, if they were learning how to delegate, and each kid had a different part and were graded for their part individually, that might be a different story. But, really, when have you ever had to work as a group?
Oh Jill, I am sorry you are feeling unsatisfied with life...but I understand. I think we all go through that from time to time...and headaches!! Ahh...they make every single aspect of life harder! Hang in there
You got some great and true comments. I would not worry about WHitney. The girl has talent and her own learning style. As long as she is doing her work and learning what does it matter if she can work in groups. I have read a TON about hte new "project based learning schools" that are popping up everywhere...mainly back east. They focus on massive projects that the kids work together to achieve, all along learning everything they would normally learn. They are just learning in an applied way and it is supposed to be fantastic. It works great for kids that learn this way, but they are finding that kids that do better alone are not learning enough this way. Not to mention that I still believe certain kids will do it all, while others sit back and coast (just like in the work force ha!!) MODERATION. THis should be my motto for life. Everything in moderation, even learning. I think you are going to find that Whitney follows her own path, and that is FINE. Artists really do use different parts of their brain...and studies have shown that often the way they perceive things is different. For example, when their eyes see something and tell the brain, it goes through different neuron paths than non artistic people. So interesting! I just hope she has teachers who can recognize this and use it to her advantage.
Well, at least you know she is a fabulous artist! I don't really have any advice, parenting is hard, teaching our kids to work well with others is hard too. Hang in there!
january blues have been getting me down lately-- (I hope that's it?)
NOw that it's february- it's going to all get better! right?
Whitney rocks- good advice here in these comments.
ditto
I think the drawing is not the problem--I think that is a total asset!
It may be the teacher, the personalities of kids in the class, or the project that she doesn't want to be involved with the group--I don't think it means anything to lose sleep over. Sometimes kids just don't gel with each other.
She kind of has some of the same introverted,that's not the right word, tendencies as you do, and you do just fine. She will find her way. I hated group projects, all the way through grad school, unless I was doing them with Natasha, because I was doing all the work. Her art work is AMAZING. Focus on her strengths, let her know that in school there is some dumb stuff you have to do just because they make you do it (think Algebra through calculus) maybe if she knows you know its hoop jumping she will be more inclined to try?
"This is really difficult right now but it will serve them well in adulthood" is really my parenting motto. I don't really like working with groups, either!
I like Tasha's idea of talking it out with her, telling her there are just some things we have to do that we would prefer not to. Don't think of her as stubborn, think of her as persistent! What a great trait!
Man, that girl can draw.
I think that it is amazing that Whitney has something she loves to do. I mean she is an awesome artist. How many kids really have something that they LOVE to do. This is a gift. At times you might have to guide her with it (like maybe not drawing during her school lessons) but she is awesome and it is just so cool.
Scott bought be Cafe Rio on Friday night when I called him from my Dr.'s appointment to tell him that all the kids had diarrhea and that I was turning the car around and driving 3 hours all over again to get back to Idaho. He had it waiting for me and boy did I need it after all the poop I had to deal with. (literally)
PS. share cafe rio? As if!
Honestly, I hated group projects in school all the way through my sophomore year of college. I only liked group projects once I got into my editing minor!
And that is one seriously impressive and detailed drawing!
I hated group work, and I'm still not sure how they benefited me. I rarely work in groups as an adult, and when I do, it's the same horrible dynamics as when I was in school. I think some people just don't like group work, especially someone like Whitney who has such a strong imagination and clear ideas about what she likes.
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