Are you ready for it?? I get to stay home today. No really, it's true. I'm a little shocked myself and my bottom right eyelid is still twitching with the stress of my crazy week, but I have looked at the calendar and found it empty for today! (Okay, technically we have the ward Christmas party tonight, but that's not mandatory so it has never been on my radar.)
{The photos of my cookie exchange contribution}
I was so giddy to sleep in until 8:00 this morning because I didn't have to be up and showered by 9:00 like I have been all week. Wouldn't you know that I woke up at 6:30 with a bizarre, suffocating-type tickle in my throat causing me to swallow repeatedly about 100 times and then sit up (oh the humanity) to get a drink of water. Upon doing that I realized I had to pee (aargh) so I got up and found that Randy was already "occupying" the bathroom (#$@!) so I had to tip toe into the kids' room to use their bathroom. As soon as I opened the door Landon sat up happily and started talking. (What???) Upon finishing my visit to the loo I came out and found Whitney awake too (for real?!), she can sleep through anything and usually doesn't surface until 8:00. Both kids skipped down the hall following me back to my bed so we could cuddle. It was endearing and somewhat amusing, but this was my day to sleep in and I wasn't about to get up early and start being busy when I didn't have to. I tried to shake them lose by reminding them that I brought home 9 dozen cookies from
Hannah's cookie exchange last night, but they ended up bounding to the kitchen to check out the loot and then came back to report it to me! (I was there, I brought the stuff home, I already know!) Anyway, Whitney and I ended up dozing in the cozy until 8:20, so at least it was something.
{My siblings--Lori, Adam, Me & Robyn}
Now for an update in the continuing saga of the extended-family Christmas party...My mom called yesterday and mentioned that rather than make all the food for this large group of people, she is going to purchase the food from Cafe Rio and charge everyone $5. No doubt we all would have spent that or more on the item we would normally be contributing, but still there's something wrong with having to pay to attend a party you don't even want to go to isn't there? Anyway, she said that she had told her sisters about this new plan and that they were trying to convince her to cancel the party!!! Alleluiah, sweet fancy Moses, the planets have aligned and my wish has been granted! But noooooo, she doesn't want to be a flake (oh please be a flake, please please please) so the party is on dang it. Plus Amy and I get the added bonus of still having to bring desserts. As you may imagine I completely pissed my mom off in the course of this conversation and have once again been demoted to my usual "sorry excuse for a daughter" status. Does anyone else think it's pathetic and sad that the people who like me the least are family members?? It's something I struggle with and can't seem to repair, so now it's just a matter of deciding whether I should just go with the title and skip the party or if I should go (as
Amie likes to remind me) "because it's my family" and try once again to make some sort of effort that will give me an ounce of credit in the dripping sieve that is my relationship with my mother. (Is it me or are my metaphors fabulous today? It must be
Alison's influence.)
{The cookies I came home with}
The following items are on my happily-chosen agenda for today.
Laundry
Reorganize scrapbook room AGAIN
Wrap some presents
Send good mail (I've already sent 3 things this week!)
Blogging
Meeting with myself about Christmas (focus woman focus)
Most likely some tv watching with Randy this evening
**Where do you rank in your family?
How do you deal with family drama?
I have 9 dozen cookies in the house, what should I do?**
27 comments:
Woo hoo first to comment!
ok i just wanted to ice my spot and didn't want to take the time to top and then miss the first posistion.
why do i always love being the first to comment on your blog.... crazy.
You want me on that wall.. You need me on that wall... such a great movie
i love how you packaged the cookies. so cute.
i want to call and chat with you being home today, but i really have nothing exciting to say. have fun being at home
second in my family
I have to admit, I'm excited you linked to my blog today. AND- our holiday law firm party was last night, and I was out until 3AM at the "after party," so feeling happy about the fact you linked to my site has been the ONLY emotion I have truly registered today. I feel like I am encased in Jello, and although normally I'd be all about that... no. Family drama sucks, I don't even want to get into it, but there are family members of mine who think I am less than savory, which surprises me, because I am obviously awesome. haha Great post.
I definitely have the "sorry excuse for a daughter" title. Luckily I live on the other end of the country so I don't really have to deal with family drama.
I also loved your packaging, so darling...and the cookies look delicious! Hmmm...what to do with all of those cookies? You can't possibly re-gift can you? Only kidding! Freeze them, save them for a rainy day.
I'm glad you get a day at home but does that mean Michelle's family is sick?
I was just answering your question about it being your famiy not trying to badger you into anything. I guess that's why treating your family the way you treat others is so much harder than it sounds and I think we all deal with it. I hate being charged to go to a party. I am a little grouchy this year about people telling me what to get them. Jimmy's family used to charge us to go to the party and now they all hate each other and we don't have the party so maybe that is the direction you are headed?
Have a good day.
**Where do you rank in your family? im the peacemaker-so im good!
How do you deal with family drama?again im the peacemaker-we STILL have issues were working out-but thats the point..we're willing to work it out!
I have 9 dozen cookies in the house, what should I do?** send them to school!
Oh how I wish I weren't the one to be in family drama most of the times. I have one brother so duh, I am usually the one to stir the pot and then regret what my mouth has said. Why can't I think first? A lesson I doubt I learn.
I would eat all those cookies if they were in my house. I have limited self control when it comes to cookies. Weak, I know. I would definitely have to find people to give them too.
Oh, don't get me started on family drama! I'm the fifth of six children, but there is an 11 year gap between me and the youngest. You would think that I would get to be spoiled or something, but actually my parents hold me responsible whenever they need something done. When my sister died, about a year and a half ago, I was the one that made sure the funeral was all arranged with her husband, made sure that her ward was taking care of the family, made sure all of my family knew the times of all the different meetings. I was like, what is up with this! I'm suppose to be the spoiled rotten one! On a different rant, (I shouldn't have gotten started!) I hate it when we are "summoned" by my family, to go to a party, a church meeting, a play, a birthday party, anything! I so just want to say, excuse me, I have a life here! Really! Now I have a question for all of you. My brother and I really don't get along. Last year, we had a blow up at our Christmas family party and he requested that I never speak to him again, unless spoken to directly. So I have abided by that. The problem is that no one else in the family, except my husband, heard him say this, so now they all think I'm being a baby and have held a grudge for this long. What do I do? It makes it hard to go to any family function! (Sorry for the epistle comment) (I'm a regular lurker on your blog.)
I completely understand your need for a quiet day. All those cookies look so good-- I could kill for some good cookies right now.
Since I am the only child married, and I live very far away, I think I currently tie my missionary brother (the funniest guy in the family-- everyone's fav) as number 1. I will be the solid winner when I get around to giving them a grandchild!
I don't deal with family drama well at all-- especially with the in-laws. I love them, but I feel like I don't know them well at all. I have been really bugged lately because I feel like my mother-in-law is much closer to my brother-in-law's girlfriend then she is to me. I have worked so hard to have a relationship with her, then this girl comes in, and she loves her immediately. Help! I want to be okay with this.
The family drama is such a drain. It does seem strange to me that you are so beloved, but not by your family. Family relationships can be so weird. I would definitely be bugged about being charged to go to a party that I didn't even want to attend, but what can you do?
As far as the ranking goes, Ryan is my dad's favorite, Jessie is my mom's favorite -- I guess that leaves me 3rd and dead last. Oh well.
I can't keep the cookies around or I will eat them all myself, no joke. I am packaging them up today for my neighbor gifts.
Family strife--who needs it, especially during the holidays. It's too bad that you have no desire to go to your family party. I can understand the sentiment because I do not deal with family drama well at all. As far as my family ranking. I seriously think I'm first in my family, but who really knows? I know I'm first with my mom. I may be second with my dad, but really, he's the kind of parent who can really love all of his children equally, so maybe we're all first with him.
Mmmm. . .all those cookies! I think this would be a good time to invite the neighbors over and pump them full of sugar. Then send some home with them to continue the sugar fest. Then divide them up and give some to the ladies you visit teach or donate some to the ward Christmas party. Or you could eat them all yourself. Most cookies freeze really well, so you could make them last. Ok, that's an oxymoron. Cookies don't last! They're jsut so good.
let's just get the cookie thing out of the way first...i would have to do just that: get them out of the way or i would eat them all. and that's all i'm going to say about that. (i had to weigh in at my ob appt today and i am trying not to freak out so much about my jump that i come down to your house and eat all 9 dozen of your cookies to rebel!).
as far as family drama goes, our saga continues. i don't really know where i fall in my family. i think i used to be up there with my mom but my problem is that now i don't try to please her as i did when i was younger and so there is such a HUGE disconnect and i don't feel much of a relationship. i don't know if she knows this or not. interesting. annalisa is my dad's #1. i feel lucky that i feel closer to my sisters than i ever did growing up and that's pretty fun. my brothers...hmmm...well, i'm on good terms with one but that can always change in a nanosecond and go from ok to total disaster. another is on a mission (very excited about his return in less than a month) and the other is well, let's say he's "struggling" and is creating some family drama of his own.
not to create a post on your comment page, but i am grateful to be in a place (no i don't read dr. phil) where i'm comfortable doing what i feel is right for me and my own family (dave and my kids) and let the chips fall where they may.
i won't even attempt explaining my in-laws...
by the way jill, you had me laughing so hard i was afraid i was going to wake my daughter up from her nap in the other room! thank you!
and one more thing...the everyone paying $5 for cafe rio totally cracks me up. don't know why just does. our mothers sounds very similar.
What? When you confront your mom or express your conflicting opinion, you get a guilt for it? My mom would never do that! :) We usually get "I know. I'm a horrible mother and I ruined your life." And her feelings are hurt and you feel bad for bringing it up. Is it just that generation? Can they not take criticism?
That's the thing about family drama. You can't win. If it were me with the party, I would throw a big fuss to my husband and say I'm not going, then feel stupid, and go to the party feeling guilty and bitter. Maybe you should all gang up on your mom. Sometimes numbers can be a strong influence.
I just hate it when people are inflexible and don't take into account other people's suggestions, schedules, feelings, what not. They get their way with guilt trips, anger, and manipulation. But nobody's happy, so is it really worth it?
I get more of that with my mother-in-law though and the frustrating thing is she complains about it to my husband or when we're not around so I can't stick up for myself. I'm always in trouble because I have a family too (with 7 kids mind you) and can't always revolved around their schedule. So why is it that I get some sick pleasure in not being able to conform to their rigid plans?
Since I just unpacked my mom's kitchen in her new house I'm on the top of her list (not that I want to be!) and I always am with my dad.
Good luck with your party, and have fun tasting all those cookies!
Yes, your metaphors are fabulous! I'm still laughing as I clean and I found it necessary to come back and comment again! So sorry about the stress but...So funny!!
My personal favorite... 'an ounce of credit in the dripping sieve that is my relationship with my mother'
I was dead last in my family until I provided the grandkid and my younger sister moved in with her boyfriend. Now I am 3rd...so hacking my way up the totem pole. But at the same time I am comfy with my place and don't feel like I need to change who I am for them.
Sounds like your mom is a manipulator- passive aggressive anyway. You have to do what is right for you and your husband and kids. This time of year is about family, but it is not worth the emotional sacrifice to give into manipulation. The said manipulator just keeps on doing what they are doing and everyone else suffers. Can you tell I am not the peace maker in my family? My mom would love for all of us to go to the Nutcracker this year with my Grandpa- something I am stoked to go to but would never dream of making Linc suffer through. Mom just can't understand this and thinks I should badger him into going. That sounds fun...make us both miserable. Sorry you have to deal with it- but you are already at the bottom with your mom, so you can't possibly go down the pole more, right? Have fun this year.
I am taking my cookies to a few friends, neighbors, and then Linc has begged me to leave a bunch for the weekend. I took your advice and had one of yours this morning with my Orange Spice tea and it was so good. Your dad knows what he is talking about.
I didn't realize so many families had "drama" and that I'm not the only one that has a lot to work on. Looks like we all do. I've seen the very damaged relationships in my parents' families, and I feel a need to reach out to family members that I don't even like just so that I am not one of the weakest links. I've seen people in the family in different situations who are treated like trash but continue to give and be loving. They are the heroes. Then I see people in the family who step away and retreat and they have caused so much damage. Based on my own experiences, I'd go to the party and suffer through for the good of the relationship. Every good deed, kind word or act you drop into the difficult relationships will combat the downward spiral even if it doesn't appear to help -- that's what I tell myself and I think it's true.
I find family relationships to be difficult, but I somehow need to be able to not contribute to the craziness. I contribute too much as it is. I'm the outspoken one among my siblings - but certainly not among my in laws - complete opposite. I'm often a planner and organizer in my family, and a sit back and watch the action person in my in laws' home.
I don't know if I should let Lara tell of our family ummm fight with our Aunt this year, or if I should because really it is a good one. We come from a very traditional family. My uncle took the "patriarch role" when my grandparents died. Every Christmas we had to go to his home for Christmas and as we all got married half the time his own children were not even there. So when the "Watson Girls" decided to have minds of their own and to say NOOOOOOOOOOO. We can no longer split time with our children our parents our inlaws and our crazy extended family, well that was just not right. But, heck we did not care. So we are all horrible children that my parents just need to tell how and when and we should shut our mouths and show up. This year it got ugly seeing that my parents are moving, and we have an aunt who thought that we girls would love to wear silly hats and tell a fun story of our parents to wish them off (never discussing this with us). And this is where I will leave it and allow Lara (the troublemaker once the peacemaker) tell if she would like.
Woo that felt good to get off. I think all of us are independent and my parents are kicking themselves for doing it to us/them. We refuse to do things and honestly I would refuse to go, I don't care how mad my mom was, this is about my family now.
I am sorry that you feel unloved, but you make up for it with all of us. I think I fall 4th just where I was born, but if I need anything I rise to the top.
Tis the season I say
I'm sorry to say that I am the peacemaker/favorite. I have my share of family drama though. Just go and enjoy it for what you can and then leave and do something fun with your husband and kids. I am sure your Mom likes you more then you think she does and just can't express it. Oh no, here I go again trying to be the peacemaker. At least you know your everyone's favorite blogger!
Okay this is a weird comment, but are we allowed to link Amie now?? I noticed that you did and about fell off my seat. I know wierd.
My sister says that she is going to deliver her cookies to neighbors. I laughed and called her an indian giver. Is that considered recyling? But it really sounds good since you probably won't be able to eat them all. I could eat one right now!
I am the "goodie two shoes" in my family since I am the only LDS one.(I am far from that) I am also the oldest.. And the one with all the DANG kids#@$%# I am my grandma's favorite in the family though....she tells everyone kinda embarrasing.
You should go to the ward party. j/k I am only saying that because that is my job :)
Big fat bummer your sleep in morning was interrupted! That tends to make me very very mad!
I think I am probably dubbed the "over reactor" or melodramatic one in my family...
I am the sorry excuse for a daughter in my family too. For my Mom, I think I rank #8 out of 8. I fell out of graces with her a couple of months ago for nothing too significant and far too long and detailed to mention here...but I know I rank dead last in her mind as she even threatened to never speak to me again.
Before that falling out, I probably ranked about 3rd or 4th. I can painfully relate, Jill. I just keep trying even though it takes TONS of effort on my part.
I loved the way you packaged your cookies for the exchange!!
To comment about Susan's comment...I don't know if I would honor that request. If the brother does not want to speak to you that is one thing, but I think I would still put forth effort to speak to him. Sounds really painful and frustrating, I'm sorry!
Come on over and bring your cookies, I'll help get rid of them!
What a can of worms family drama opens. I am the oldest (although in Jan. I will become a twin with the youngest because I will be forever 29) and the peacemaker in the family. I thankfully have a great relationship with my family, my brothers and I (with my sister) have an on going playful discussion on who will get all of dad's guns. I think that my sister, by far, has the most patience and I am the voice of reason, funny if you know me, but I think I bring an element of humor during a crisis.
Drama is just that, drama, sometimes you just need to get out of the rat race for a little while and sit on the side lines, good luck with your drama.
Anybody want to go to IKEA tomorrow? I hate shopping alone.
Pam count me in! So sad to hear your sleep time got cut! What happend with Michelle didn't you go to crative friday...I should have asked you the favor! I rank number 3 in birth right...however I go up and down the ladder quite often, being the only girl out of 5 boys it is kind of hard...since I usually create/vanish the drama. My mom is the Queen but I don't think I even get to princess rank. All those cookies, I would give them away and only keep a couple of each--and just go to the party eat tasty and get it over with.
So glad you got a day at home, even if it did start early (that is just always the way!)
Well, I have to say I was shocked to read that you are not beloved by family. How can that be? It does suck to feel like that. It is just not fair.
I was "informed" that I was not what my inlaws wanted for a daughter in law before we got married. My MIL even tried to convinced Jason to call off the wedding. I have had to live with this crap for the last 12 years yet I am at every family gathering whether or not Jason is there and I try to suffocate then with kindness. I did not want to be held accountable for any bad actions toward them. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that I was a good daughter in law and if they still chose not to be nice then they are the one who will be in the wrong. It has helped a ton for me personally and most of the time they are still jerks and don't want much to do with me or the kids but it is their choice and I won't be judged for not trying. It still hurts a lot because I think I am a good person and I have been trying for all these years. But it is their loss. I just feel the worst for Jason. We are the ones who are trying our best in the church, I am home with he kids (which they do not value.) and we try to be there for the family and they only call when they need help or want something. Sometimes I wish I could shake them and tell them they are a bunch of idiots for treating their son so badly.
So personaly I think you should go to the party. It is lame that you are being charged for luch and have to bring deserts on top of it. But there will problibly be more probelms if you don't go. Sorry.
If I had that many cookies in my house they would be gone so fast! Between me and the kids they wouldn't last.
Good luck!!
I just wanted to add...
I got me a BLOG!!! Although, it is more for all you who have blogs that I comment on to see who I am and not some atrocious voyeur!!
I don't know how to get my picture to post with my response but it does show up on my profile page.
Thanks for the little nudge, Jill!!
Lurker alert! Lucky for me my family is the most important part of my life. It's not that we all get along fabulously all the time - we are all incredibly stubborn, opinionated and have horrible tempers - we don't even like each other half the time. However, we stick together because we all know that family is the most important thing in the world. We need each other - that's why we are sent to families in the first place. I wish we would all remember that - what's more important than loving and supporting those we were sent here to help take care of?
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