February Book Club in August

Remember back in February when my computer and my iron levels both crashed hard in the same week and left me despondent and suicidal? The week before those two things happened we met for book club at Amy's house to discuss Ride the Wind and to celebrate Collette's 40th birthday. I didn't get a chance to blog about it until now because the photos were on my computer that crashed and weren't available until this week when Randy was able to retrieve them and put them on our new, fabulous, wonderful, speedy computer.

Amy had cute Valentine treats out. Is it weird that gummy candies have almost no appeal to me other than aesthetically? I guess I don't like things that stick in my teeth.

The ding dong cake looked so beautiful under glass.

They were doing (and still are!) major construction around Amy's neighborhood so Michelle and I were late that night because of a detour and then Collette called and needed directions too.

Amy's iPad, she's an early adopter when it comes to technology...I am a better late than never adopter.

This cake is a thing of beauty.

A funny pose by Collette.

Collette brought us all a bag of Valentine candy.

We went downstairs to Amy's theater room and got cozy in the recliners and under blankets and we did some talking and laughing.

For some reason it's Collette's laugh that always cracks us up the most.

**Do you like gummy candies?

Have you ever had Ding Dong cake?

Have you read Ride the Wind?**

Comment Window Tidbit: I may have just pulled a muscle in my back when I twisted and flew out of my office chair because a black spider skittered out from under the papers I was just working with at my computer!

Sunday Thoughts

Wasn't General Conference fantastic? Of course, it always is, but I am currently enjoying the broadened perspective and increased spirituality that come following a life trial (iron woes, questioning mortality, etc.,) so I feel more connected to all things spiritual (a great feeling) lately and watched conference with a strong desire to hear what I needed to hear.

I loved Elder Holland's closing talk about how each speaker was inspired by the Lord to choose their own topic, and that not every talk will speak to every person but that there is a talk (or 2 or 10) that will speak to each of us!

I enjoyed several talks this time, but the image that keeps coming to mind for me is from Elder Bednar's talk about revelation. He said...


"I invite you to consider two experiences most of us have had with light.The first experience occurred as we entered a dark room and turned on a light switch. Remember how in an instant a bright flood of illumination filled the room and caused the darkness to disappear. What previously had been unseen and uncertain became clear and recognizable. This experience was characterized by immediate and intense recognition of light.

The second experience took place as we watched night turn into morning. Do you recall the slow and almost imperceptible increase in light on the horizon? In contrast to turning on a light in a dark room, the light from the rising sun did not immediately burst forth. Rather, gradually and steadily the intensity of the light increased, and the darkness of night was replaced by the radiance of morning. Eventually, the sun did dawn over the skyline. But the visual evidence of the sun’s impending arrival was apparent hours before the sun actually appeared over the horizon. This experience was characterized by subtle and gradual discernment of light.

From these two ordinary experiences with light, we can learn much about the spirit of revelation."

After he said these things I realized that I think of revelation in a light-switch, instant illumination kind of way so I have always thought that I don't receive much revelation. But now I see that that kind of revelation is the exception for me while my norm is the so subtly gradual kind of illumination that I don't usually realize it's happening. Maybe this should have been obvious to me, but it wasn't until he described it this way (what can I say, metaphors work for me).

As I have been reading No Doubt About It (please tell me you're going to read it), I've been experiencing increased understanding about my life, what is important and why I am here. I have always been taught the answers to these questions, but recent life experiences (of mine and others) have changed my perspective such that upon reading the words in the book I feel like I finally get it and want to live it. This feels transformatively huge to me and worth going through the horrendous month of iron-related woes (though I definitely prefer this side of the experience).

**Thoughts??**

Comment Window Tidbit: Few things are a delicious as a pending Sunday Nap.

Wordless Wednesday

Comment Window Tidbit: Both the kids woke up sick this morning (very rare) so I ended up staying home with them and spent most of the day dozing on the couch. I guess we all needed to rest.

Book Clubbing

We gathered at Amy's house last Tuesday evening to have our March book club discussion and to to celebrate both Collette and Michelle's 40th birthday.


Amy had a fit of creativity in her freshly-cleaned (and awesome) studio, so she made the tissue paper flowers for a centerpiece, the birthday banner for the dining room wall and cute gift certificate holders for both girls.

Cute eh?

Jenn made a beautiful trifle for dessert and had to get creative in order to transport it safely.


Amy, Jenn and Jana handled all the food for this occasion since we never assign anything to the birthday girl(s) and because they wanted to give me a break since my iron-situation has kicked my butt so badly. I really appreciated having the night off, especially because I'd had my 2nd IV treatment that day and was feeling anxious and exhausted.

As the night went on and I heard the updates on their lives I felt some guilt for letting them double up on food assignments...they've all got big stuff going on in their lives too.


After dinner we retired to the basement to Amy's theater room to continue talking and to eventually discuss the book. We recently moved our starting time to 6:30 in an effort not to get home so late, but Collette and I didn't pack it in until 11:00 (the other girls stayed a bit later).


We all loved this month's book and would highly recommend it. I fell in love with it early on and found myself continually thinking "this is charming". I loved the writing style and the characters, it was a fun book to read (and has a great cover).

**Have you read this book?
Have you ever made trifle?
Does everyone you know have
major stuff going on in their lives right now?**

Comment Window Tidbit: I tried to sleep without taking an Ambien last night and ended up having a terrible night of drifting off into a fitful sleep of bizarre dreams only to wake up in a panic an hour or so later and then would repeat the cycle. I don't know if I'm trying to resume normal sleep too early or what, but I can't have another night of that kind of stressful, nonsleeping.

Five for Friday

1. Whitney art-directed Randy again this week and suggested he draw her name as a thought bubble.


2. Our block calendar stayed like this for over a day before I even remembered that there was no February 29th this year! I was feeling so out of it I didn't even notice.


3. Spring is coming and our tulips are starting to poke out of the ground; for me this is both a sign of spring AND a sign that Women's Conference is coming!


4. We're trying to help Whitney get ready for soccer season so as to avoid seeing her jog her way through the season (I'm not coaching this year). Landon has been helping her (complete with a whistle) by leading her in stretches and various drills; she is a willing participant but is definitely not in hustle mode right now.


5. Landon recently joined the track team at the junior high and has been training with the distance runners. We finally got him some real running shoes (as opposed to the Skater Boy shoes he ran in for the first week) and he is really loving it. I'm amazed by what he can do and am so happy that he gets to be a part of this. He is going to be in the best shape of his life when soccer season starts in a few weeks.

Comment Window Tidbit: I have felt pretty good today, woohoo and thank heaven for that.

Sweet Fancy Moses

This afternoon I experienced my first burst of energy in 23 days! (Which have been the longest 23 days I've ever experienced.) With this new sense of well-being I was able to get some groceries and gas, unload them (this is no small thing when you've been without energy for a long time), did some laundry, documented my recent good mail, dusted, called Lori just to talk (I've been anti-phone through all of this), called my dad for his birthday, vacuumed the house, AND went for a walk with Landon! What in the world?!! I am so excited! I'm starting to remember that I like to do things after all. It feels miraculous!

Side note: While on our half hour long walk Landon and I saw at least 6 cats, a huge pheasant, 4 deer, numerous horses, several dogs and two goats.

Comment Window Tidbit: I really hope this burst of energy is going to be a permanent thing!

So Here's The Thing

As euphoric as I am to be reconnected to email, blogging and the outside world through the laptop, I'm still not feeling great and am still lacking the desire to do much (this makes for riveting blogging).

I had my 2nd IV treatment yesterday, which I assume went well because I didn't experience any pain or sickness as a result. Though I did have some serious anxiety and antsyness at book club last night and felt extremely tired today at school. I feel like I literally pray myself through every day since this started (even more than I used to already) and seriously feel like I'm taking everything I have to do one step at a time until I get through it.

I was so tired during the first two classes at school today that I didn't know if I'd be able to make it through the last two classes. I ended up lying down in the back seat of my car for 15 minutes of my lunch break (thank heaven today was my early lunch day!) so I could be horizontal for a little while and regroup.

I fully expect to feel fantastic some day soon and then perhaps my sense of humor and desire to do more than the bare minimum will return, because this really sucks. It's very disconcerting not to feel like myself. Serenity now.

**What are you reading?
What do you wish you didn't have to do?
Is your sense of humor in tact?**

Comment Window Tidbit: It's very weird not to want to do anything.

Baby Stepping

One of Randy's co-workers was able to get our laptop working, so as of now I am online once again! This feels like a miracle in many ways and I am looking forward to reconnecting with the outside world again. I still have limited creative abilities since all of our big programs are on our main computer, which is still in a coma, so I don't know when I will be able to create my 12 on the 12th collage, a new blog banner, cards or good mail labels.

As for the iron-deficiency situation, I am on the mend but oh so slowly. I had my first IV treatment last Tuesday and really wanted it to work like Spinach does for Popeye, but instead they told me it could take up to two weeks for my body to make new red blood cells. Apparently iron helps create new red blood cells and those cells are crucial for carrying oxygen to the heart, hence my constant state of feeling exhausted and like I can't get a deep enough breath! It has been awful. This whole experience has made me feel so empathetic for those who suffer with major health problems regularly and has really made me feel vulnerable (not my favorite feeling).

I'm definitely NOT back to my normal self, but am feeling like resuming normal life is in my future (that feels huge right now).

**So how have you been?**

Life on Hold

Once again, I'm at a borrowed computer (this time Lori's) in order to check my email (94 since Saturday, most of which were crap) and do a quick blog post.

Computers Viruses 2: Stuarts 0

We're still technologically challenged and it's driving me crazy. I did NOT need a break from the computer, am NOT enjoying being cut off from things, and am disturbed by how many times a day I think "Oh, I need to look that up on the computer." Aargh!

Iron IV Update

I had my first (of at least 4) Iron IV treatments yesterday and all went well. I sat in a recliner in a little room in the IV Therapy Center at the hospital close to my home for an hour as a Iron dripped from a bag through a needle into my arm. I was relieved it didn't hurt, didn't taste bad and didn't give me a headache (they said that was a possibility). I ended up going to a Relief Society activity (I'm on the committee) from 5:30-9:50 and felt fine, so that was a huge blessing. While at the activity my cute Sunday School teaching partner (an 80ish year old widow) informed me that she and the other "Golden Girls" (the widows in our ward) prayed for me Monday night while they had Family Home Evening together (after she told them what was going on with me). This bit of information brought me to tears and comforted me greatly. It has been a hard thing to feel so anxious, tired and unwell these past two weeks (it feels like it has been months!); it is humbling to feel so out of control.

Thanks for all the kind comments, thoughts, prayers and cards, they are hugely appreciated!