SPT--Holiday Peace

I didn't do this SPT yesterday because I was feeling so inexplicably grumpy and that just didn't jive with the topic of peace. Well today I'm not feeling much better and I'm pretty bugged about it. I have no reason for feeling irritable, yet I seem to be snippy with the kids (particularly Whitney and her many messes) and am not feeling excited and joyful about our Christmas festivities (which start today at my parents' house).


So I had to turn where I always turn when I need real peace and not something masquerading as peace. I closed my bedroom door, knelt down beside my bed and prayed. I'm sure just the act of praying is restorative, but something about turning over my irrational feelings and asking to be filled with love is instantly beneficial and makes me want to try harder. I feel more at peace and ready to enjoy the blessing of Christmas.

**Do you ever pray for peace?
Are you full of holiday cheer or
are you inexplicably irritable?**

Survival of the Fittest

I'm 30 hours in to Cousin Camp and am doing alright. I was Mary Poppins on Tuesday night with all the kids at the baseball games (though my mom came to help and thankfully took over the port-o-potty duties). I had a bag of tricks (many water bottles, fishy crackers and Tootsie Pops) so they girls had a great time playing in the dirt with Whitney (during Landon's game--he did great by the way) and just running around being crazy. They were filthy when we got home at 9:00pm so that meant 5 separate showers for all the kids.

I was like a seasoned professional, feeding kids in the kitchen, supervising shower techniques (Tess didn't use soap until I triple checked with her?!), slicing strawberries (they couldn't eat them fast enough), providing towels, directing jammie dressing, setting up the beds for the night, and pouring more cereal. I did all of this without feeling flustered or fatigued, woohoo.


But today I woke up feeling grumpy...that's just not right. I just couldn't shake my irritability, though there was no reason for feeling that way. If anything I should be rejoicing because Randy is the groove buster no more! He started two different jobs this week (a strange, but good set up with part-time design work at two places, plus free lancing from home) so I'm on my own again.


Annoyance number two (the first being the unexplained grumpiness) this morning was that the little blow-up pool we bought last night would NOT inflate! It has 4 separate layers, so if there is a hole in one of them the rest should still inflate, but nooooo, I couldn't get any of them to blow up. The girls were in their bathing suits by 8:45am and were watching me and offering their "helpful" suggestions. Landon even tried to take over for me as if I didn't know what I was doing (aargh!). It never did inflate.


Later in the day the girls were so desperate to make it work they propped up the sides of the pool with chairs and put water in it anyway. They stayed outside all day, so at least it was good for something but I was very bugged. Randy actually went and bought a slightly bigger pool at Big Lots tonight and it inflated in about 5 minutes.


After spending 8 hours outside today (with only 1000 visits inside the house, leaving the door open every single time!) the girls then wanted to cram themselves into the bathtub. (Whatever floats your boat eh?) They stayed in there for over an hour until it was time to get jammies on and have a pizza picnic in the family room.


I was so irritated with the fact that I felt irritable (is there a term for that condition?) that I ended up talking to myself saying "I want to feel better, I want to feel better" and took 2 Excedrin. I then put a "Friday Night Lights" dvd in the computer and started cleaning up my scrap room (it's so long overdue it's ridiculous). Look a clear surface!!! Probably only people who have actually been in this room will be able to appreciate the magnitude of this accomplishment.


I framed the Women's Conference photo grid I made a couple weeks ago. I had it printed at Costco and it turned out great. It's only $2.99 for a 12x12 print.


I finally made room for the cool, red storage container thing Kristi sent me for my birthday almost 1 year ago! I moved all my scrapbooking idea books (which I no longer use and want to sell) to make room for it. I love the burst of color and am happy to have a home for it at last! I also did some serious cleaning up on this table, though the untrained eye may not be able to detect my progress.


So my day was salvaged, my irritability left around 3:30 this afternoon, I love Friday Night Lights, I can actually walk in my scrap room, and tonight was So You Think You Can Dance, woohoo! Wish me luck tomorrow.

**What do you do when you wake up grumpy?
Why wouldn't that pool inflate?
Do your kids ever remember
to shut the door in the summer?
Who do you like on SYTYCD?
Is anyone reading blogs and
actually commenting this week?**

Today's Forecast

Highs
It was garbage day today.
I watched the rest of The Office Season 3 online, so funny.
Randy brought me a Steak-n-Cheese sandwich.
I made some good mail labels.
I have a bag of Sonic ice in the fridge.


Lows
My feet are freezing...it's June!
The self-surgery on my eye looks heinous.
I need to get my eyebrows waxed.
I have no frumpy summer collection.
I have to go to a baby shower tonight.
Michelle has been out of town all week.
I want to redecorate everything but can't.

**What were your highs and lows today?**

Not Good

I'm having a serious drop in my biorhythms or something because today I feel like I'm going to seriously wig out. I am NOT enjoying spring break thus far (day 3). The kids are fine and have been playing happily with church friends and neighbor kids, but I think I'm hating this break in my normal, weekly routine.


Plus, Senor Groove Buster is just SO present that it's making me mental. I went and got my hair done yesterday (finally, it had been since January!) but came home to find him working on the computer. I shouldn't complain, because he's working, but I'm really feeling like our house just isn't big enough for the both us right now.


I ended up retiring to the cozy to read (freakin Wild Swans, will it ever end, I hate nonfiction!??) and then fell asleep for 2 hours. I know that such a nap is luxurious but I wasn't planning on that and it was almost as though I was forced to do it because there was no place else to go.


My 3 self-surgery spots on my face are healing but this big one by my nose is mocking me at this point. I should put some eyeliner on it and pretend to be Cindy Crawford.


These spring break days are seeming long, but not in a good way. Plus Mother Nature has some serious PMS or something because we went from being hot on Monday to being freezing Tuesday and Wednesday. My psyche can't handle it, I want to spring clean and hibernate at the same time and am feeling completely out of sorts. Aargh!

**Where's your mood at between 1-10?
Should I be wearing a winter sweater on April 16th?
Does anyone need a live-in graphic designer?
Calgon, take me away!**

Weekend Revisted

We always celebrate Easter with the whole family on Saturday so that the Egg Hunting and less-spiritual aspects of the holiday are kept separate from the real deal. This makes for a much more peaceful Easter Sunday, and this year it was a good thing considering my cried-out status after church yesterday.


On Saturday I thought I was in good form, but it turns out that the chaos of our family gatherings, the drive out to Freakin Eagle Mountain, and my blurred focus on what's important in life were doing a number on me. I hate it when I give into those feelings (but they seem so real at the time). On Saturday I was feeling the weight of Randy's joblessness, our lack of home ownership, lack of Easter Clothes for the kids, and lack of the charmed life I thought I was destined to have. (All of these things seem stupid in light of yesterdays church meeting. Note to self: Focus woman, focus!)


We got all the kids together after the egg hunt, it's cute to have all the cousins together. They got seriously loaded up on candy. Andrew joined in on the search, as usual, though he has no interest in the candy at all.


We also celebrated my dad's birthday. The kids all made him cards (hence his smile), which was pretty cute. Landon's card said, "Pop, enjoy your year of being 59!"

It's crazy that we fill up the dining room now. That table was gynormous when they first bought it 8 years ago, back when Landon and Bella were the only grand kids. (Now if only we could do something to improve the acoustics in there.)


I thought I should point out Amie's house (the brown one) as seen from my parents' deck. She probably knows more about my parents' lives than I do.


I received some Royal Mail from Amanda H. She sent me these darling circular sticky notes along with an English gardening magazine (I'm excited about this) and a Logic book of puzzles (I'm afraid of this but up for the challenge), plus one of her great cards made from an old children's dictionary. Thanks Amanda!!

What About Bob?

Today I feel like I need to constantly repeat "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful" over and over again because there are forces at work on me trying to sabotage my efforts to improve. Fortunately this morning I made it to the gym (victory is mine!) because I took my own advice and remembered that it's easier to get up and go than to negotiate reasons for not going and then to feel bad about it later. Woohoo.


The thing is that I usually come home from the gym happy and ready to meet the day head-on, but for some reason today I felt irritable (it's not even PMS, though it sure feels like a good imitation). I had to work hard to be sweet with the kids this morning when all they were doing was being themselves. Whitney and I had a bit of a scene when I was failing to do her hair the way she wanted it done, she actually said, "You don't understand anything!" I did NOT respond well to this, especially because I was physically overheated (post-shower heat, I hate that) and am lousy at doing her hair. I sent her to her room and sent myself to my room too and then attempted her hair again 10 minutes later. She ended up happy with it, but I felt like such a chump for getting flustered over something so stupid.


I've been trying not to hassle Whitney all the time about her constant messes, and this has proven to be quite a challenge. I'm sick of always pointing out all the things she needs to pick up, hang up, clean up, and all of that yet I find myself spotting 10 items each time I enter the same room as her. It's maddening. I didn't say anything about her messes for 4 whole days (unprecedented!) and then last night during FHE we were giving the kids their good behavior marbles for the week and Whitney didn't earn any for cleaning and I asked her if she noticed that I hadn't been reminding her and she said "No" and wasn't even flustered about getting 7 fewer marbles than Landon. !$#@? Seriously, what how am I supposed to get through to this girl? I may have to go back to nagging because at least then things are clean. Ha.

My mood level today is a 6 out of 10, grrrr.

**What's your mood level today?
Do you hate unaccounted for grumpiness?
Can you do hair?
Do you have to repeat a mantra over
and over again to get through the day?**

Grumptastic

I'm not sure what happened, but it feels like I am the victim of a hit-and-run from the bad-mood fairy. Good grief. I've been fine most of the day, but in the last hour I feel out of control and hostile. This is not good.


The neighbor kids have been gone to a family reunion for the past 4 or 5 days so my kids are missing them. Landon especially, so he's driving me crazy. We don't use the word "bored" in our house but his behavior is all about that. He has the new Harry Potter book to read, a cute sister to play with, a nice yard to play in and all manner of other things to do, but since his video game time is up for the day and since his friend can't play he's acting like a man without a country. I'm not very nice about this sort of behavior and ended up sending both kids outside to either pull weeds or practice soccer, yet they both acted like they were being punished. I think they want a new mom and I'd like some new kids right about now.

I've got our Activity Days Fake Sleepover tonight at 7:00 and have been working on a slide show of pictures of all our activities from the past year. I'm happy with it, but kind of bugged that it took me all afternoon to do it.

**How is your mood today?
Do you have to make your kids play outside?**

Out of Sorts

Moods suck. What is the purpose of them? Why can't I just be consistently motivated and happy? Instead I woke up late today and immediately felt blah. Randy was working on the computer until about 2:30 which threw me off even further, so other than doing some laundry and vacuuming I have nothing to show for myself.


The kids actually played outside next door for several hours, so that was nice but I've just been wandering around like a lost soul. I talked to Amie on the phone for awhile, which was good, but I'm back to feeling like what's next?


I've been trying to come up with a new schematic for our house so that we can accommodate the 3 nieces here for the next two weeks. My great plan is to turn the garage into the playroom so we can free up space in the kids' bedroom for sleeping, and facilitate as much outside play as possible. I bought a swimming pool from Costco (the one Becca posted about, thanks) and haven't told the kids about it yet. I plan on bringing that out when needed and hopefully that will go the distance in entertaining the kids and keeping them active and outside a lot of the time.


I need to go to Costco to get one of those heavy-duty shelving units for the garage. We already have 3 of them, but I think one more will help free up a lot of space in the center of the garage so that I can move a couple small tables and the kids' toy bins out there. This plan has GOT TO WORK or I'm going to be in trouble. Most of the time I'm content with my cozy, little house but lately I've been feeling it's size limitations and am feeling frustrated by that. Aargh.

**I'm a professional, I can work around this right?
Do moods shut you down too?
Isn't a wasted Saturday the worst?**