Something to Celebrate

I can't believe Randy and I have been married for 13 years today! We got married on a freezing, winter day in Salt Lake City in 1993. It was so cold that the photographer's flash froze! That doesn't explain why we have so few pictures from the day (I still can't figure that out), but it does explain why we have red noses.


I remember going shopping for wedding dresses with Pam and one of the women working at the store told me that she hated having her anniversary in December because it always gets lost with Christmas. I pretty much have to agree with her about that, but I think I've made my peace with it. Having our anniversary 4 days before Christmas usually means we spend the evening out finishing our Christmas shopping. That's not such a bad thing to do, but it's not very anniversary-like...or is it?


Our life together has definitely NOT been a fairy-tale romance. Nothing has come easily to us, and there have been many times along the way that I've wondered if we should stay together. BUT, I have always come to the conclusion that we are a good match and that whatever our issues are at the moment they are circumstantial or due to relationship-laziness or personal selfishness. I don't know if I should blame Hollywood or whoever wrote Cinderella for leading me to believe marriage was going to be easy if you loved each other, because that's just not the case.


What is the case is that we make each other laugh daily, we put God and family first, and we actually like each other when we spend time together. (It's just difficult when we don't make an effort to spend time together.) This doesn't sound like a dreamy romance to me, but whatever it is IT works.


So today I consider myself a lucky girl with something to celebrate. That celebrating will entail lunch and a movie with some Christmas shopping thrown in, but that's how we roll. I don't wear a diamond ring, I didn't have a fairy-tale wedding, I don't have many photos from that day, but I have a good marriage and a good life and consider myself blessed.

**Did you have a fairy-tale wedding?
Has your marriage been harder than you expected it to be?
How do you celebrate your anniversary?
Should I have tried to sugar coat this more or is the truth okay?**

Holly But Not So Jolly Christmas

This is my first video clip ever!! I'm so excited (thank you Kristi for sending me to Video Egg so I could do this). I haven't even ever used the video recording feature of my digital camera before, I had no idea it was so easy! This is a banner day for me. Watch out, because I'm probably going to go video clip crazy.

This is part of Whitney's reluctant performance at her school's Christmas program today. It cracks me up that she is front and center for all to see, yet obviously does not want to be there. Notice how at the very end she glances over at me (I was sitting on the floor right in front). Too funny. Also, her pants were too big in the waist (they're a size 7/8) so I used the cute ribbon Kristi sent me for a belt. Her shirt is also a size 7/8 and still ends up showing her belly. She also has a massively chapped nose and upper lip from her cold. Poor girl.

**Are your kids willing performers?
Were you as a kid?? (I wasn't!)**

Unwanted Affection at the Post Office

How's that for a title?? Are you intrigued? Fortunately the unwanted affection was only witnessed by me, but the story is amusing none-the-less. You see, I was standing in line at the automated machine (aka my best friend) and was waiting for an older woman (50's) and her husband (I assume) to mail several packages. A postal employee (male 50's) was helping them navigate the system and taking their packages when they were done. Anyway, the woman was very friendly and making chit-chat with me and with the postal employee and seemed very happy about the Christmas season. I was happy too and thought how delightful this waiting was compared to yesterday's line at Robert's.


So the postal employee gave the woman a candy cane and said "we give these to all the pretty ladies" or something like that. The woman was so delighted she kissed him on the cheek and kind of gave him a hug! I figured they must be old friends or something. But after the woman and her husband left and I was using the machine, the postal employee stood by me and said "I can't believe she kissed me!" I laughed and said, "I thought you knew her" and he said "no I don't, that certainly hasn't ever happened to me at work before!" Pretty funny. As I left I realized he didn't give me a candy cane and I had to laugh that I wasn't one of the "pretty ladies" but when I walked into Target several minutes later I saw that he had tucked a candy cane in my front purse pocket. This was both disconcerting and sweet.


In other news, I got almost all of our many Christmas cards mailed yesterday! It was quite a production, but I'm so glad to have those out. I had planned to write something in a bunch of them, but decided that if I did that they might not get mailed until February so don't be offended that I didn't write a special message just for you. Just know I'm very fond of you and had every intention of personalizing that card especially for you. This is just one of my many ways of trying to lighten my Christmas load.


I got this good mail from Kristi yesterday! I was so delighted to receive one of her handy-dandy reusable "gingerbread" houses. I had told Randy about them and had wanted him to build us one at some point (most likely 2010) so this was a most welcome surprise. Kristi also sent a wrapped gift, but I couldn't wait to open it. It was this cute little bag with my initials on it and then all of this ribbon was stuffed inside it. I have no idea how she got it all in there, but I'm very glad she did. Thanks Kristi!


Our Christmas card garland is already full and it's only the 19th! Holy Tamole, I'm going to have to take down the lame cards that don't have pictures or do some serious rearranging. It has been so fun getting photos from all of my new blogging friends (in addition to my old friends), thanks for putting us on your list!

{picture taken through my iced over window}

It has taken me until 7:30 to post something for today because my internet was down this afternoon. I spent an hour this morning in Whitney's classroom, then ran errands, then came home and was very bummed out that the internet wasn't working. Apparently there was a major outage in our area, but that's just unacceptable. I've got an addiction that needs to be fed, don't they care about that??

Amie brought her kids over this afternoon so that she could go to the temple, and they happily played outside for 3 hours! If that's the case I'm happy to watch them everyday. Whitney came in a couple times, but everybody else stayed outside the entire time. Wow! When Amie came back I was frantically trying to get ready for Activity Days and ended up putting her to work cutting things out for me. She totally saved my bacon. (Thanks Amie!) My Activity Day partner came over a half hour early so we could plan out the activities for next year. We made it through August and are excited about our plans. (Thank you Elisa for emailing me your ideas, we're using all of them!)

**Have you ever kissed a postal employee?
Are you addicted to the internet & blogging?
Has anyone saved your bacon recently?**

Squabbles, Snow & Shopping

I had a hard time sleeping again last night thank to my new curse of the "Jimmy arm." I often get the Jimmy leg if I stay up too late, but lately my left forearm has been problematic at night. If you've never experienced limb restlessness then you don't know how lucky you are. It's grim. I read for awhile, but then I tossed and turned until I finally came out onto the couch at 2:30am. For some reason sleeping on the couch makes me thrash less and I'm usually able to get to sleep. It's annoying all around, but I was determined to try to sleep because how many all-nighters can I do before I crash? I'm thinking about 2.


So this morning the kids woke up at 6:30 and came over to me asleep on the couch and whispered loudly and laughed. Nice. I shewed them off to their bedroom and slept for another 40 minutes. But the kids were antagonizing each other and it didn't take long for drama and tears this morning.


Me: Landon, you need to take a shower this morning.
Whitney: Yah Landon, you stink! (Which he didn't.)

The kids went off to their bedroom and then I heard a piercing scream and cry from Whitney. I ran in there to find Landon and Whitney both in tears. Apparently this is what happened.

Whitney told Landon he smelled like an old person, so he hit her.

Good grief! They both had to have a 10 minute time out and lectures from me. Poor Landon can't take being in trouble very well and felt very wronged for getting in trouble for hitting Whitney since he claims she hits him "at least 5 times a day." I had to talk to him about being 8 years old and being accountable for his actions and all of that. Poor kid.

I told them if they continued to treat each other like this they were going to have to spend the afternoon holding hands on their bed. I think that threat was enough to inspire reform.



Everything looks like a winter wonderland after this weekend's snowfall. This is a picture of the trees at the park where I like to take pictures. It would be a stunning place to have family pictures take right now if no one minded standing in the snow.

I ran errands this morning and had to keep myself from getting grumpy. At Robert's (the craft store) their computers were super slow and their credit card machines weren't working at all. I was paying cash so that wasn't going to be a problem for me, but it made the lines go sooooo slowly. I felt bad for the cashiers, and was glad no one was being rude, but it is incredibly frustrating to waste time in lines especially in a place that the lines usually aren't a problem.

I also went to Old Navy and found some good deals and used my $10 off coupon that Amie had given me last week (thanks!). I was a little grossed about by my cashier guy. He had super long nails, isn't that rather sickening on a man?

I nearly biffed it 4 different times in the parking lot near Pier 1 because it's so icy. That's a really disconcerting feeling.

I ran into Target too and found the rest of the stuff I wanted to get for Whitney. It was crazy in there, though I never fear growing old and dying while in there.

I braved the post office as well (Rebecca your bunnies are on their way!) and was pleasantly surprised that there were only 2 people in line at the automated machine but like 20 people in line inside. They're crazy!

**How much do you have left to do?
Are you good about waiting in lines?
Are you finished mailing things?**

Unintentional All-Nighter

This is what our front yard looks likes this morning! It hasn't snowed substantially for weeks, but it looks like the clouds were making up for lost time. I'm so glad it's Sunday (though I thought they might actually cancel church because of this) because that's a perfect day to be snowed in. It's so quiet outside because there's practically no traffic.


I couldn't sleep last night and was up until 6:15am, but took advantage of the night's snowy silence and stood outside on our porch. It was completely quiet and so beautiful. This is a view of my slippered feet on my porch at 5:00am. I've never been outside at that time before and ended up feeling like I was witnessing something spectacular. Click here for more photos.


Also during my middle of the night activity I watched 4 episodes of "30 Rock" on the computer while I printed and trimmed our Christmas letter. It was actually really pleasant. I also finished off a huge piece of cake that Adam and Amy had brought me the night before for watching their girls. It seemed indulgent and glorious to be eating cake at 3:00am.


This was the scene on my computer desk around 5:00am. As you can see Randy came through with his commitment to do our Christmas cards yesterday. He graduated from BYU with a Bachelor of Fine Arts and intended to be an illustrator, so he can draw and paint just about anything, but doesn't really get to do that much these days since he's hoeing for the doe as a graphic designer and logo creator. Anyway, every year since we've been married (13 years next Thursday) he has made our Christmas card.


This is a picture of him drawing it yesterday. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I thought it was kind of cool to capture him in action. It's such an awesome talent. I think Whitney's got it too, but poor Landon and I can only draw stick people.

On a more ridiculous note, I did sleep from 6:15-7:45 this morning and ended up having the most bizarre series of dreams ever! I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to sift through the rubble of my subconscious, but I just had to document these while they were fresh in my mind (I typed this part first thing when I woke up).

• Clay Aiken singing on the front lawn with people wearing train costumes marching around behind him. A camera guy coming in our house to record our reaction and me being totally embarrassed because I hadn't gotten ready for the day.
• Tons of snow overnight, but being totally upset that it's gone in the morning. Trying to talk to my neighbor, but there are wild kids all over the house and everything is different in the house. Randy had bought a new phone, new toaster (which was on fire), and added a new bathroom with a bigger cabinet. I couldn't communicate well with my neighbor and just couldn't figure out how all that snow had melted already.
• Later a friend let his friend (who I didn't know) stay at our house. The visiting friend's Christmas card had my name in it as helping him recover from plastic surgery!
• Trying to get to know the new house I find fabric softener leaking all over the floor, bunches of shoes that aren't ours in this little cubby area, and then a Tarantula crawls out of there. I freak out and go running, my sister Robyn kills it for me and informs me that 75 babies came out of it when she squished it.
• Spreading bird seed all over the deck of my "different" house.
• So that's about it. Feel free to psychoanalyze me, but if these dreams reveal anything disturbing email me instead of humiliating me publicly. Ha.

**What do you do when you can't sleep?
Have you ever stood outside in the middle of
the night to watch it snow?
Do you remember and try to analyze your dreams?
Am I crazy?**

Accountability = Productivity

I FINALLY got my Pink Christmas gift mailed! Good grief, I don't know why I waited so long to finish. It's a good thing I made myself accountable to Michelle because it took me all afternoon to finish everything, get it wrapped and then in a box to mail. I finalized the shipping at 5:11pm--Merry Freakin Christmas! Ha. I'm so happy to have that sent, but it occurred to me that my person might not be spending Christmas at her house this year and if that's the case I'm bummed out. I'll know better for next year.



This is what my kitchen looked like while I was trying to get my Pink Christmas gift ready! It was a royal mess, but it was so satisfying to finally get it all done that I didn't mind cleaning it all up.


This is the entire contents of my mailbox yesterday! It's so rare to get nothing but good mail, I love it. There were 2 Christmas cards (from Natasha and Laurie) and a wedding invitation, along with good mail from Claudia and Kacey.


Claudia sent me two photo cds from our trip to see her in September, along with this very cute "J" ornament. So nice.


Kacey sent me this cute Santa notepad and this cute note. Thanks Kacey!


We watched Adam and Amy's girls tonight while they braved Adam's work party. I love having the cousins all together (even though it gets crazy). They love watching a movie and having popcorn with m&ms in it and start asking to do that as soon as they get here. I thought this photo was funny because they're totally engrossed in "Snoopy, Come Home" and not concerned with the camera at all. I love all the Christmas decorations and lighting too.

Today I have a commitment from Randy that he will created our Christmas cards! It's already after 11:00, but he works quickly so we'll see. I need to mail a few more gifts (why did I wait so long???) and possibly brave shopping some more. Our family is signed up to help clean the church building this afternoon with some other families, so we'll be doing that at some point too. I slept in rather late this morning so I feel like I've lost half my day already. It's a conundrum for me because the call of the cozy is so strong.

**What are you doing today?**

Small-Talk Impaired

If I were to be graded on my small-talk abilities I would definitely receive an "F" because I am a complete failure. This surprises me because in general I feel like I can talk to people, but what I'm realizing is that I can only do that one-on-one, my mind goes blank in a group. I just love being an adult and feeling like an awkward teenager...NOT! I have no problem talking to cashiers, waiters, the lady who cuts my hair (who I'm seeing today), Whitney's teacher, people from church, etc., but man oh man do I look like a deer in the headlights when it comes to meeting Randy's co-workers.


So last night was Randy's work party at Ruby River Steakhouse, and boy did I make a fool of myself. I must have looked like the girl who could only smile and nod. It was painful. It doesn't help that I think functions like that are a waste of precious holiday-season time, but really it would be nice if I were able to act like an interesting adult rather than a personalityless lump in a turtleneck sweater.

When we first got to the party they handed out a piece of paper and a little bag that was sewn shut and a had a number on it. The object was to go around the room (thus interacting with everyone) to guess what was in their bag and to write down their name and the item they had. I thought it was kind of a clever game, but after about 5 minutes I became completely grossed out because everyone was touching the same bags over and over again to try to figure out what was inside. Is it me or does this seem like a bad idea in flu season?? Not to mention all the introductions and hand shaking going on. I felt nauseous at the idea of all of this cross-contamination and fled to the bathroom to do a frantic and thorough hand scrub.


Fortunately the game was ending when I returned so we were able to find a seat and have appetizers. Yes, that means everyone else in the room started eating with their filthy hands and licking their fingers from the Buffalo Wings (ah, carumba), blooming onion, and jalapeno poppers we were served! No doubt everyone in the office will be fighting the same bugs now. I may be small-talk impaired by I'm no chump!

Here are some small-talk tips from eHow, perhaps I should have thought of this BEFORE the party. Duh.
_____________________________________________
Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need.

Instructions

• STEP 1: Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.
• STEP 2: Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.
• STEP 3: Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.
• STEP 4: Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.
• STEP 5: Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.
• STEP 6: Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ... the more varied your list, the better.
• STEP 7: Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.
• STEP 8: Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.
• STEP 9: Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

Tips & Warnings

• Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
• Remember, you never have to do it alone.
• Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
• Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

After reading this I can't help but notice that it doesn't say anything about dealing with the compulsively nervous laughter from the very chatty wife of one of the employees. It was so off-putting to me that all I could do was watch in horror.

**Do you have small-talk skills?
Are you comfortable with lots of people you don't know?
Do you have any advice for me?**

A Wal-Mart State of Mind

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I met up with Lori for lunch at Fazoli's. It feels like we hardly ever get to see her anymore because she's so busy with school and work. It was good to chat with her (Anne I delivered your good mail to her). After lunch with Lori, the kids and I went to Wal-Mart, which is never a good idea. The parking lot didn't look too packed, so I wasn't worried about it being too crazy inside, but it was a madhouse in there. It always makes me crazy that it's so hard to get two carts down the same aisle. I also never understand why no one else ever feels inclined to make room for me. I feel like I spend my entire time shopping apologizing for being in THEIR way! What's up with that??


The lines ended up being super long, so by the time it was our turn we were tired and fearing that we were going to grow old and die in there. The interesting thing was that when I started to talk to the cashier my mood changed instantly. I felt so sorry for her that she had to deal with all of these crazy crowds of people and screaming kids, that I completely forgot about how annoyed I had been. I asked her if people were being nice or not and she said that some of them were, but that's it's hard when people get upset and rude. I just can't imagine treating a cashier unkindly just because I was frustrated with something. I left there feeling so glad that I didn't add to her stress, and wanting to make sure that I don't behave in a way that causes anyone to feel like she did.


This is a picture that Whitney drew at school the other day. I think it's hilarious, it looks like Santa is palming the Elf.


Jessie sent me this nice thank you card yesterday. I also need to mention that Julie dropped off a plate of tasty fudge on Tuesday night. I didn't take a picture in time, so now it's pretty much gone. Thanks Julie! Amie also brought t me a box of Macadamia Clusters from her trip to Hawaii. Apparently there's a conspiracy to get me stocked in fattening treats.


I can't believe it's already Thursday. I thought I was going to have my Pink Christmas gift ready to mail on Monday, but I still haven't done it. I keep wondering if I should add to it or not, but pretty much I think mailing it might just be the best way to go at this point. It's the 14th already!

**Are you nice to cashiers?
Do you ever fear that you'll grow old and die while at WalMart?
Can you believe it's only 11 days until Christmas?**

P.S. I finally figured out how to comment on the Beta Blogs. I had to click on the sign-in part where it asks if you've forgotten your password for your Google account. Then they emailed me and I was able to change my password (I don't know what it was in the first place) and now it keeps me signed in so I can comment again.

The Children Are To Blame

I just love reading magazines and books about organizing. I have always loved to have a clean, organized space (even as a kid) and never feel totally at peace unless my environment is looking good. Sadly, I AM able to function pretty well if things at home are kind of organized. This means that I'm not a complete and total neat freak, just a partial one. I like to have the dishes all done, the kitchen clean, the house vacuumed, and our main living space decent looking, BUT my scrapbook room is always in a state of extreme disarray, drawers are generally a mess, our garage is unsightly, and our hall closet sometimes looks like this!

{Our hall closet today at 9:00am}

I blame the children for the state of this closet. Who raised them anyway? I'm sure this is mess is 85% Whitney and 10% Landon and 5% me. As a disclaimer, I really must repeat that our house is very small, so storage area is at minimum. These lower shelves of the hall closet serve as a place for the kids' games and art stuff, but I also have towels down low as well. It's very hard to keep this area orderly, especially since we've got a Whitney in the house considers shoving things in the closet a cleaning method.

{The ugly scene in the hall half way through cleaning the closet}

I usually never let it get this bad, but have been so busy lately that I haven't been as vigilant. Also, Whitney just wears me down. If I were to have her clean this closet there would be tears, possibly body flailing, much stomping and cries of "It's not fair." Of course, writing this makes me want to MAKE her do it, but really a mess the likes of this is intimidating even to me. The real goal is to help her not to create these messes in the first place, but all my words seem to be in vain. This girl is a challenge to my core. She is a good-natured, fun girl, but her joie de vivre doesn't contain any thing remotely resembling a desire to clean.

{The finished closet!}

So I tackled the closet myself. Once again the perk of not involving Whitney is this process is that I can eliminate many things without her knowledge. I had the trash can and recycle bag next to me so I could sort quickly, it went well. I also sorted through our basket of medications and found many expired items (some of them had never been opened), so now that basket is substantially less full. It always feels good to get rid of the clutter, as I was cleaning I decided that I must let it build up to the point that I can't take it anymore because then I have no problem getting rid of things. I suppose that if it's only kind of messy then I have trouble letting go of things. Hmmm, it's always frightening/interesting when the all-or-nothing aspects of my personality rear their ugly head.

**How do your closets and drawers look?
Are you an all-or-nothing kind of person?
How do you "help" your kids catch the vision of organizing?**

Blogging Woes

Is anyone else having trouble commenting on the Beta Blogs?? I don't know what my problem is, but it won't let me sign in. I feel like a complete spazz and am totally frustrated. Please help!

Footloose and Fancy Free

I got to go to Michelle's house yesterday for a Creative Monday, and I worked on sending out much good mail and on putting Dana's photos into an album. It was an excellent afternoon.


Randy, the kids and I went out to dinner last night and then drove down to Spanish Fork (I hadn't been there in years) to find Dana's house so I could deliver her pictures. We found her house without any trouble and fortunately caught her at home. I still can't believe she barely had a baby 10 days ago, she looks fabulous! This is one of the pictures from our little photo shoot from last Saturday. It's kind of fun to see what she looks like eh?


Dana then pointed us in the right direction so we could go see the Festival of Lights. I've always wanted to go see it, but never go to Spanish Fork and quite often end up not doing a lot of the things I think I'm going to do each winter. So hip hip hooray we finally made it! It's only $5 a vehicle (as opposed to Thanksgiving Point which is $10) and you just drive through and look at all the lights. It was pretty fun. I've decided that I just love Christmas lights and am already sad that there's only 13 days left until Christmas because I don't want the season to end.


I came home last night to find this package from Anne (aka Annie Claws). She sent a great Christmas mix cd that she'd made, along with an extremely cute card and envelope. She mentioned in the card that she knew I'd received a lot of cds already, but I must correct her and say I've received one from Julie and one from Tasha--that's not a lot right?? I say bring them on, I love Christmas cds and love all the different mixes. Thanks Anne!


Since it's Tuesday I spent 2 hours in Whitney's classroom helping the kids with their Christmas gifts. Last week I helped them paint these baby food jars, and then today I helped them wrap them in tissue paper and tie the cards on. They're all so cute and so excited about everything, it's inspiring really.


I also mailed a bunch of stuff at the post office and am so pleased to report that the automated machine CAN'T keep up with me! I've mastered that thing and take great joy in being faster than it. I find that I have to hold myself back from giving tutorials to the other people using the machine, they are soooooo slow! I know I was slow when I first started using it too, but it's Christmas for Pete's Sake this is no time to just be figuring it out.

So other than visiting teaching and Randy's work party (Thursday night) I'm feeling pretty footloose and fancy free (whatever that means). I'm enjoying the lack of stress and the many options I have this week to work on different projects. Our Christmas cards don't even exist yet because Randy always designs them and hasn't done anything about them yet, so that's kind of a big thing. But I ordered our pictures yesterday and am going to print the envelopes and write a little letter so that I'll have them ready to go by the time he gets around to doing them (hint, hint--he reads my blog).

**How are you holding up?
Are your cards done yet?
What are you listening to these days?**

Mary or Martha??

I went visiting teaching this morning to an older sister in my ward, and we ended up having a great visit. My companion couldn't make it this morning so it was just me and this older lady. (I think that actually ended up being more conducive to a substantial conversation because my companion has 2 little kids that usually end up being cute but distracting.)


Anyway, I was sharing with her this quote from the visiting teaching message and then our conversation evolved into a discussion of whether we're more like Mary or Martha.

"Whatever our circumstance, we are blessed as women. We have made covenants with Heavenly Father to do His work--and we are doing that work! Like Mary and Martha, we have placed ourselves at the Master's feet and have 'chosen that good part' [see Luke 10:42]. We have chosen Christ, and we have chosen Relief Society...It is pleasant to think that [Mary and Martha], and other faithful women who were Christ's disciples, might have met together to learn their part in building the kingdom. They were covenant women like us. They had determined to give the Savior all their hearts. So, too, when the Relief Society was organized, it grew out of our divine calling and our desire to serve, to love, and to care for each other."
--Kathleen H. Hughes

Several years ago at book club we had a rather heated discussion about whether we are more like Mary or Martha, and I'm not sure where I fall but I think it's somewhere in-between the middle of them. I was saying to Penny (the woman I visited this morning) that I fear that I sometimes miss opportunities with my children because I'm more concerned with cleaning the house or checking the things off my to-do list. She nodded her head and sighed and then went into a lengthy explanation of some of her regrets as a mother. Only 1 of her 5 children are now active in the church and the others have all lost their way. She said she looks back now and can see how she was distracted by other things and didn't put forth the effort she needed to at a crucial moment with her children.


This was eye opening for me, and is one of the reasons why I love visiting teaching. I love hearing the insights and experiences of women who have been through life already and who now have the wisdom and perspective to share with others. She is not someone who I would normally overlap with in life because of our drastic age difference, but she is someone who I can totally enjoy talking to because I am her visiting teacher. I told her about how I panicked 2 weeks ago when Landon went up to bear his testimony and how it made me recommit to having Family Home Evening. She said her oldest son was like Landon when he was little, but that now he has nothing to do with the church!

{One of my distractions!}

The world needs Marys and Marthas, but when you take everything else away it is more important to be present in the moment in to be in tune with the Spirit so that we can teach our children and be sensitive to the needs of others. So pretty much I'm grateful that I went visiting teaching this morning and left there feeling like I was the one being taught rather than the one doing the teaching.

By the way, I gave Penny a Christmas cd as a gift for this month thanks to Kristi's wonderful idea!

**Who are you more like Mary or Martha?
What are your distractions?
What are you giving the women you visit teach?**

Another One Bites The Dust

I'm a rather militant hand washer and spend most of the winter with cracked and bleeding hands, but I'm usually rewarded with very little sickness. Apparently even I can't fight the Nazi flu that's going around. I guess I should be thankful that it didn't happen during my super busy week, but I do find it a little ironic that it hit at 3:00am AFTER the extended-family Christmas party.


So I spent an hour in the bathroom last night wishing I was dead and getting to know my bathroom rug intimately (fortunately I had just washed it the day before). It's always humbling to me when I do get sick because it reduces me to a groveling wreck in no time. I'm feeling quite a bit better today, though I'm staying home from church for bathroom proximity and noncontamination reasons.


So the notorious Christmas Party was last night and it was fine. I never mind it once I'm there, it was more that I resented another obligation in my week AND the fact that it was almost canceled twice! It's just too cruel to mess with my emotions like that. I will say that the food was really good (though I didn't feel that way at 3:00am) because Cafe Rio is always a good idea in my opinion. The sad thing about the party was that our numbers were much lower than usual due to people having to work and being sick. It felt like we were missing 1/4 of the people, then several of the guests left right after dinner rather than staying to play games. We were seriously down to 7 extended family members along with our 6 direct family members (and all 9 of the kids). It seemed a rather pathetic display and a waste of evening. Kind of like having a party because we're supposed to rather than because anyone wanted to have it. Perhaps my mom will regret all her stress and effort and decide not to do it next year. I can only hope.


Yesterday afternoon I got to run some errands by myself (Rodworks and Costco) then met Dana and her family (for the first time) to take their family photos. It's still so crazy to me to meet people from the blogs and to feel very familiar with them, though not knowing what they look like. Dana has a beautiful family. She just had her baby 1 week ago and looks fabulous! (I'll post pictures after I get them back and after Dana has seen them first.)

Randy just brought Whitney home from church because she's complaining that her head hurts and is definitely NOT herself. That's kind of strange because she was totally herself this morning and was being quite entertaining. I don't think she's faking it though because she's in tears, took medicine, and is in her bed. I am a little bummed out that I don't get to be home alone, but hopefully if she stays in her bed it will still be quiet here. It's so rare to be home alone that even if I'm sick it's still a nice break, I definitely didn't need a whiny party crasher.

**Do you highly prize your time alone?
How do you comfort yourself when you're sick?
Can you believe I didn't get sick until AFTER the party?**

Deep Thoughts by Jill Stuart

This is a page from the book "She" by Kobi Yamada. Michelle had a quote from it on her blog last month (November 13th) which inspired me to order the book. I LOVE this book. It is full of quotes which are formatted like this. I like all the quotes, but I decided this is one of my very favorites because I have a tendency to think (in the back of my mind) that someone is going to come in to save me or make things better. I feel like I'm finally figuring out that that's not going to happen and that I need to be the person I'm waiting for.

Last night we had a family movie night and watched Akeelah and The Bee. It was a great movie (though it had like 3 swear words which seemed odd for a family show) and featured this wonderful quote by Marianne Williamson.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." --Marianne Williamson

I love this quote and used to have it hanging in my cubicle 10 years ago when I worked at Franklin Covey. I need to print it out again and hang it up so I can read it every day. I love the context that it was used in the movie, it made it seem so simple. I don't know if it's human nature to want to tear other people down or minimize their successes, but it's rampant and awful and seems to be the way of the world.

How many times have you read someone's blog and seen a project, new purchase, a vacation or read something great they said and found yourself mentally criticizing that person?? I fear that women are the worst offenders of this because we have feelings of competitiveness and comparison in us from the moment we start school. This makes me sad. I try really hard to keep feelings like this to a minimum in myself because I don't want to be a critical or jealous person. Often my first reaction is to feel threatened or jealous, but then I take a moment and recognize the victory for that person and actually feel happy for them. (Of course then I feel guilty that my first reaction was less than kind and often take a ride on the shame spiral, but usually I end up okay.)

I guess I'm wondering why it is that we are so afraid to be the best we can be. I have actually thought before that being overweight is a good thing because it shows people I'm not a threat to them. How twisted is that?? I've seen women smirk and almost snarl when they see thin, beautiful women and I've actually managed to convince myself that that's one thing I don't have to worry about. (I might keel over from a heart attack from being cow-like, but hey no one is mad at me for being too beautiful.) I don't know if this is a life-long struggle for most women or if it's just me, but I am working on it and find that the older I get the easier it is to be comfortable in my own skin and to be myself.

**What do you think??**

P.S. Like right now I'm having a panicked feeling about putting that photo of myself on here. Not only because it's a big ole picture of me (taken by Michelle by the way), but because I'm thinking of all the critical thoughts you guys might be thinking. How sad it that? My purpose in putting the picture with this post is to expose myself and be okay with who I am right now, but it's still an uncomfortable feeling.